I was OK in the last couple of days, but then I started retrieving some memories from the past on how I couldn't connect with people when I wanted to and how I was marginalized and treated as nobody, and in a split of a second I switched to the hopeless state. I really think that some people are doomed in this life no matter what they do. They are trapped in their past failures. My mind is not good in seeing a better future. It projects my past into the future.

[DechanDawa]

As they say here it sounds like your depression is talking. They also say that depression lies but I am not sure of that. Sometimes I think depression delivers brutal truth. It sounds like you could also use some DBT style acceptance therapy. That is...accept how things are...while being willing to change.

I personally don't feel that anyone is doomed. Look, for instance, at Stephen Hawking. He was given a death sentence in his early twenties. He went on to marry, have children, write a best selling book, inspire a movie about his life, have a long standing career, and produce TV shows. And he hasn't even had a real voice since he was young...only a computer voice.

I do exactly as you do. I am almost always in the past digging up dirt. But I am trying to stay more in the present. Mindfulness exercises and techniques, and having goals is helping me stay in the present. I am choosing solution based thinking over digging around in the the past...although I still keep going back there and have to continually haul myself into the present.

Yes, sounds like depression. Ruminating just spirals us down further. This has been my own enemy. When I find myself doing so I try to remind myself of something positive. I try to write down the positive thought if I can (I keep a journal which I have promised myself is only to be used for positive thoughts and situations).

[it'sgrowtime]

People get marginalized at times, and it takes self-esteem to deal with that. Of course, I don't know about your self esteem level, mr stranger. I've been working on developing my self esteem, and have found more peace in the process.
It's extremely important to feel connected to others as equals, I think. its worth working on. One step at a time!

Mr Stranger I get drawn back to past unhappiness when I am stressed and anxious - off I go into a negative spiral, and I have to try hard to resist and focus on the present.

We all have things in our past we regret and would do differently now, some analysis is helpful because we might learn what to do differently in future but to excess then it becomes like quick sand, it drags us down. We can't change the past it's done, all we can do is take what we can from it and try to learn. That's not easy when in a negative spiral I absolutely understand that.

I get that too sometimes. Sometimes it feels like I am haunted. By bad memories. Of regret, rejection, and hurt. Sometimes I think I must learn to live with these ghosts. Other times, they are not always there. It depends. Lately, they are there more often. you have my sympathies Mr. Stranger.

I feel I switch between states very quickly. In a blink of an eye. There is no gradual change for me. It's sudden.

People who beat their misery obviously are not doomed. But as long as we are miserable, then we are doomed, or at least we are inclined to think that way .

I think I have self-esteem issues, although you might not notice that if you met me in person. Ironically, I will be confident and furious if I felt I have to defend myself, or when I feel there is a legitimate purpose. I just don't feel confident in informal social settings. So, it's confusing. On the certain side, I feel anxious and overwhelmed around people.

It's not easy to not dwell in the past when your present is an extension to your past. I forget it sometimes in a moment of happiness, and try to use that positive energy to do something, just to be struck back to the past.