You Can't Abandon Me Like That.

Trigger Warning.

You don't get to do that! To convince and guilt trip me out of taking my life, only to turn around and make a statement about how you're going to end your life the following week. Why is it okay for you to leave me like that? Why do you want to leave me here without you? But if it's me who's going, I'm just 'going to break you'? You think that doesn't work both ways? What? You think it wouldn't break me? You think I'd float through life because I'm "so much stronger" than you? That's ********. I'm not stronger and I'm not weaker. If I keep fighting, so do you.

You've left me before. You don't get to do that again. I know how I am without you and I can't. I won't survive it if it's permanent.

I should add that this isn't about anyone on PC.

I think we know...Sorry you are thinking about so much heavy stuff lately. When I read the link 4 Deep Practices*For Clearing Emotional Blockages And Harnessing The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind - Dreamcatcher Reality (provided in hippiebea's thread), it did talk about how you have to fully experience past negative emotions (obviously over and over for you) in order to heal from them. I think you have been doing that a lot lately and I hope it helps. (and I hope you get some medication relief as well--that helps too) Thinking of you during this very rough time.