[passionfruit3]

So my sister came home earlier around January and she was talking to my dad somehow i came up in the subject and she said i dont think_________a lot of people would hire her with her condition.my dad said i could possibly get a job with the state.and my sisters yeah like possibly and eventually they talked about something else.as some of you know and for those that dont know i have conversion disorder ove had it since 14 it was due to a trauma. Which in my case was family always fighting due to sisters anger issues and dysfunction and just just utter chaos in are last home.anyway id have like a panic attack or something similar and after i got out of it i couldn't move i dont want to explain the whole thing but i was diagnosed with conversion disorder ots like memtal stress converted onto physical symptoms.sometimes i can walk sometimes i cant sometimes i cant move at all for 30 minutes. Sometimes i cant move my arms or speak and also sometimes i get jerky movements in my body.sometimes it happens only for a.day sometimes 10 minutes. Sometimes a couple. Of weeks.i worry my sister may be right and ill never do normal things that 24s do like drive or do things unsupervised. After falling in a parking lot.i wonder if ill be able to work or will i live off disability for the rest of my life.my mental health. Is kinda getting better though self harm hasnt changed i havent been hospitalized. For two months now.i guess now i just want some normalcy out of my life.i feel like i just exist now im not living.this whole getting better thing sucks if you don't. Have a plan.im not ready to go back to the hospital im terrified.im not ready to die but its like what do you do when since when you were. A teen. All you were ever good at was making goals to attempt suicide.whats left?

Hi! I think it's important to do things withing your limitations, while trying to expand your limitations. Your safety is more important than to be "normal". Be safe while finding your way in life. Take care

[Trippin2.0]

I hope I have not gotten the wrong end of the stick as I found your post hard to read with the random placement of full stops.

Like Mr Stranger says, limitations, we all have them, its best to find out what exactly yours are, where you can improve and what your options are within them. Independence is an awesome goal, but my independence might not look like my friend's, and vice versa.

I suggest you find what you are good at, practice what you are bad at, and in time you'll see where you fit on the grid.

Don't beat yourself up, Rome wasn't built in a day.

[Gojamadar]

Hi,

i have conversion disorder ove had it since 14 it was due to a trauma. Which in my case was family always fighting

This is a mostly psychological problem caused by your present living arrangement.
It would be useful if your thererapist could explain your problems to yourfather, sister and other part of your family. Perhaps a psychologist can explain to your dad that the disorder is real and caused by the circumstances you you live in at the present. With understanding on your part as well as your families, it is possible that you will completely recover!