[fijiisland]

I have to cut my strawberries slowly so they can't hear me hit the knife to the plate. If I cut them too loud my father will come running to tell me not to cut things on plates because it will leave a knife mark on the plate. If I drop something on the floor I immediately feel a sense of doom that they are coming to yell at me. I make to do lists and if I am going somewhere the first thing I do is hide the list so they can't come into my room and read it.

I am in my 40's now and due to unforseen things I live with my parents and kids. It is the worst thing to ever happen to me. As a child I had severe anxiety, severe social anxiety, and in my 20's had panic disorder. I take antidepressants only because I live with them.

I am constantly on edge, feel like I am walking on eggshells and am always waiting to get yelled at. I hate my life and feel as if I am just going through motions to get by. I have no one to count on and no support from anyone. Yes, my parents watch my kids for me but treat me like crap. I have been sent to my room in front of my kids because my kids were misbehaving and I tried to punish them by taking something away.

I have no money to move out even with a full time job. I am constantly trying to better myself but as soon as I look at my parents I Immediately want to curl up in my bed. I constantly have fans on in my bedroom to block the noise of them out. and yes I live in my bedroom. I only come out to do laundry ( I get yelled at for that) or to eat ( I hurry up and grab something quick to get away from them)

So I am almost 50 and am treated like crap by the 75 year old parents. They control everything. I am in prison and want to be released. they have ruined my life. My kids even hate me and hit me.

This is SO sad; I'm sorry you are forced to endure this. How old are your children?

[Thunder Bow]

Do you have a Therapist to talk to? Sometimes accusers are asking for support, but hide behind their accusations.

This is sad on both fronts. Consider that your 75 year old parents never thought they would be living these conditions themselves. How hard it must be for all of you.

What kind of arrangements do you have with them? In what manner do you contribute?

The answer to all of this may be to pay rent (which in my opinion you ought to be doing). This gives you a great deal more rights. It might even earn you more respect from your parents. However, until that happens it is a case of 'my house my rules' and that is something you can't escape from. This you need to respect.

Once/if the matter of rent has been settled draw up with them a list of boundaries and expectations for both sides to follow. As a tenant they have obligations towards you.

I sympathize with most of what you have to say. Your example of cutting the strawberries on a plate though made me cringe. I admit I am with your parents on that one as it doesn't demonstrate common sense. Perhaps that is the litmus test to your situation.

Finally, to what advantage do you have living under their roof? I am sure there are programs like low income housing subsidies available (my own income is topped up by one). Visit your local mental health association and social services centre. They likely have lists of available low income rentals that they update daily. They also will be able to advise you on what resources and programs may be available to you (I get subsidized transit passes, free leisure passes, and community activities on a sliding scale).

Having you live under their roof is obviously coming at a financial cost to them. They may very well agree to use the same funds to subsidize living outside of their home.

[MickeyCheeky]

It must be awful to live like this.. I'm really sorry, I wish I had some advice for you

[nyancatnyan]

That sounds very stressful. It is really hard when you have to rely on your family for help, especially at a point in your life when you would have felt you wouldn't need to again. If it is possible, I think communication is seriously lacking here so maybe sit down and talk to them. You must have been at least somewhat close with them at a time for them to be taking in you and your kids right now? They need to understand how you are feeling, and maybe there is things you dont understand how they are feeling. They sound like they have some distain for you, and like they maybe didn't want you to be living there to begin with and that could be part of the reason they are being so cruel. I think you all need to communicate your feelings, and I think you should find somewhere cheap to move out to, otherwise, when will you get to leave? Take out social insurance, move to a cheaper town/state, get assistance in finding somewhere to live from professionals, I think starting a new leaf, even at 50 would be better than staying where you are right now for everyone. You do not want to be bullied by your parents forever and your parents need to be separated from your children if you want to be able to earn their respect again without your parents intervening.

[Teddy Bear]

I lie on my bed awake because I feel safe there.