I'm still angry about getting bullied years ago

Bullies seem to be incapable of learning anything (unless you get them as a child, then there may be a chance of turning them around). Revenge, I think, is basically to help you. I hope you can find a way to feel better.

I repectfully disagree that it doesn't get better, that has not been my experience (I was bullied over 30 years ago now).

That said, I do believe bullying has long term effects on many people, and I think many of us can identify with what you write about. We cope at the time in the best way we can but as children we don't have the knowledge or experience that we do as adults - often the way we cope is by shutting others out, and that can be a hard habit to break. I think it's common to have problems making connections is adulthood - and it can be isolating and distressing.

I would personally recommend reading up on the long term effects of bullying, so you can better understand your own reactions:

4 common long-term effects of being bullied

What you are feeling is valid - and I think this expression of anger is normal too, it could be a sign that you are ready to address this issue and begin to heal those wounds.

I was bullied in elementary school, then, thankfully we moved and my life changed for the better. No more bullies, was never bullied again.

I just watched an episode of Catfish. This beautiful girl was Catfished by a bully and the whole school turned against her and shunned her. She also felt like she didn't want to live and was ugly.

Bullying really destroys your self esteem!

The best revenge is living well. Karma will surely get revenge on those bullies.

If I ran in to that one horrible bully girl from my past, I'd tell her how much her bullying hurt me and how it still haunts me.

We have had the same experiences. To top it off, my mother was popular in school. Need I say more? I got NO understanding at home at all. I was "imagining things", "making it up for attention," etc.

To add.....I went the opposite way in my adult life. I am not afraid of anyone, I am very confrontational and hateful when the situation calls for it, and i make no attempt to hide my contempt for the general population. Hey..I'm good with it...LOL!!

Having gone through this right through junior high I feel the pain. I felt it for many years. It took me some time and some therapy to better my self-worth and only then could I address my past. I still hear their critical voices on occasion though putting me down and laughing at me. The difference now is that I am better able to challenge those thoughts.

I have at least 3 of those 4 symptoms. It just makes me so angry that I had to go through that. I didn't deserve that and I did nothing to bring that onto myself. My self-esteem has never recovered and I have social anxiety as well as self-image problems now. I remember being called ugly and laughed at on a daily basis. I remember guys in the classroom telling girls that they should be my girlfriend and the girls laughing and saying "eww". I remember when they convinced a girl to falsely accuse me of touching her inappropriately (luckily I didn't get in trouble for it, but I could have). I hate that when I look back on my childhood, I was a victim. I won't be anyone's victim ever again though. If anyone tries to bully me now then I'm going to react violently.

I can relate to this as well. The worst part of it was that they were hypocrites. Everything I did was weird, yet they did the almost exact same thing, and it was all of a sudden OK?...Yep, I loathe late elementary and middle school with a passion. My personality partially changed because of it, but that's actually a good thing in my case since I'm a lot more snarky now. If I ever meet them again and they remember me, they will face my sassy wrath.

I had the distinct pleasure of meeting an old "enemy for no reason". She regretted trying to talk to me. I was very rude and mean. it made my day. However..I had an Orange Julius in my hand, and I kicked myself for not throwing it on her.

You REALLY think that will have any effect on one of them?

Reminds of something I did, only it was with warm coffee. I've used coffee as a means for humiliating a-holes twice now.

I personally don't think we can usually get 'revenge', much as we might like to.

From my experience the best I could do is live my life according to my values and enjoy it as much as I can. Although I will always carry the scars they are less now. I don't even think of revenge now, and do have some compassion for my bullies - truly happy people do not bully.

My 'revenge' was moving on.

I went to a high school reunion. Those of us who left town after graduation seemed to have successfully moved on. Only I didn't realise this until the reunion. Revenge? Revenge was hanging with the popular boys while the cliquey girls who had remained in town looked on in disbelief and anger. They remained stuck up bags still in their high school mentality while the rest of us went on to actually have lives. That was revenge.

Maybe I'm naive, but I do. If they've grown up, they may feel bad about having bullied you.

It also helps me feel better to confront and know they know how I feel.

go and buy this book, its written by George Hyaduke
it's called getting even, just reading the ways you can literally destroy someones life will make you laugh like crazy.
And if you are still bothered with those feelings when you are done reading, well......

I was physically assaulted by my bullies though on certain occasions. I want to hurt them.

Hurting them (if that was possible) will not reverse what happened to you. It would also bring you down to their low level.

I believe you should concentrate on yourself and your own healing. When you are ready.

I want to hurt mine too Shawn... Any bully who ever put their hands on me, I want to beat them down and spit on them. It really would make me feel better. I'm a merciful person though... I'd stop at the point of crippling them.

It really grinds my gears when people show these a-holes compassion and tell me that I'm no better... I dont appreciate having my character attacked. -.- I really don't care if anyone feels differently... I dont care if people want to forgive their bullies, but just don't get in my way and try to preach your values on me because I don't agree.

I met one of my bullies in Wal-Mart a couple years ago when I was with my 9 year old brother... He insulted both me and my brother and called my brother a name that he didnt even understand and made him cry
...I guess maybe this was "low" () of me, but I head-butted him in the face and made him bleed. That was a really good feeling and for that particular bully, my feelings of resentment have significantly diminished.

This guy also used to go to the local pond and stone baby ducks to death... Total piece of **** and deserves much more than a headbutt to the face.

If that was aimed at me then I'm out of this thread.

Actually, I didn't see your post until just now... It happened to be a coincidence that I used the word "low." I don't agree with you, but no hard feelings. I was just expressing how I feel in general... I don't hate you for it or anything.

It's good that you were able to do that. I wish I could get physical revenge on mine but that's likely to never happen. I just want them to feel the same pain I felt. I don't care about being "better" than them, I want to get even.

This guy also used to go to the local pond and stone baby ducks to death... Total piece of **** and deserves much more than a headbutt to the face.

@Vernonjenkins--oh, he wouldn't get help from me if he were on fire and I had the only bucket of water within two miles. If there is ONE thing I cannot and will not abide it is animal abuse.

Yeah, especially babies... I don't understand the cruelty. It's mind boggling to me how anyone could be that sick in the head.

I am so sorry to hear this. Your experience is actually very similar to mine. I was bullied very badly when I was young (in elementary and middle school) and I ended up not having friends or wanting to go anywhere when I was in high school either. A few years later, my life is still affected by my experiences too. I still always worry people won't like me, I am scared to talk to people sometimes because I am afraid they will say something unkind, etc. I do not know why people can be so mean. I think younger people do that to get attention, but it is so wrong.
I know how easy it can be to feel resentful toward others because they've treated you unkindly, and to feel angry because of it. However, how about rather than to feel angry about the situation, turn it into something positive? Of course recognize the fact that it was wrong, but use your experiences to help others. Speak out against bullying, help others who are in that sort of situation, or focus on helping others in any way. Again, I know how easy it is to be resentful, but you can also choose to be a better person than they were. And that is much more worth your time than anger. Don't allow someone else's negativity to hold you back from living a positive life now or in the future.
I hope that you can resolve some of the concerns you are experiencing as a result of the bullying. Perhaps you can try counseling to try to resolve some of the concerns? This may help. It may also be helpful to focus on the strengths you have, or the good things that people have said about you. It can be easy to remember the bad things people have said about us and focus only on those, but remember the positive qualities that others have recognized and the positive things you notice about yourself as well.

That guy was a sadist, definitely a person with emotional problems. It's human nature, especially in males, to use violence to retaliate. Heck, if everyone used physical violence, those bullies would think twice before acting.

But, our laws punish us for resorting to physical violence...so, that's rarely a good choice.