A Cycle of Problems

***Venting***

I feel I have a bunch of connected problems, where the problems are fed by each others. I am not sociable. Not socializing makes me not motivated to do stuff like excelling in certain things like in my field, because why to bother, I am always alone at the end of the day. Not getting things done further erodes my already low self-esteem to socialize (I will be afraid that they would know about me not doing things well, like by asking things about my field I wouldn't know), ..... and so and so goes the cycle. Here I am, a guy in his mid 30s, and does nothing worthy. All I do is sitting and wasting my time. No one welcomes me socially or professionally because I am not good at both. This is my whole story in few lines. I am just surviving.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Are you seeing a therapist? To make things better you'll have to determine the weakest link in the cycle and break it if that makes sense to make progress. I believe in you. You are worth it. Hugs coming your way.

knowing exactly how you feel soyour not alone

I'm sorry. It must be difficult. I tend to isolate or not socialize due to lack of trust. I think finding a therapist to sort out and discuss your feelings, emotions will help. I'm in the process of looking for one too.

It's a great thing that your verbalizing your feelings in this forum and like others said it might be of benefit to see a therapist as well. I do both in order to keep afloat. It's hard to go through life feeling alone and not feeling like you can trust others. It starts affecting so many areas of your life. Perhaps you see yourself in that fashion but others might not. I have low self esteem and think that I'm horrible at everything I do. Others might think otherwise.