Why the hell was I laughing?

This is ridiculous and I can't fathom why I reacted this way. My parents were asking me what was wrong and all I did was laugh. WTF? And now they both believe I made up everything. I know I don't cope with emotions well, but I don't understand why I was LAUGHING. Now I made them all upset and I feel guilty.

The problem is I know I don't cope with emotions well. Usually my work gives me a lot of anxiety, and I end up ruminating it to my family members who get annoyed by it. I tried coping it inside and letting all my emotions boggled up inside, and tried coping with everything so I don't have to resort to my parents or anyone else, and that didn't work out too well. Instead, I was so focused on my thoughts I couldn't tell what was going on around me. I became forgetful, thinking and concentration was very hard to do, which made me more anxious. Eventually it led to a breaking point, where I wasn't "with it" and would just think about all of my issues instead of solving anything, and then I refused to tell my parents how I felt because I didn't want them to think I'm crazy. I tried coping really well and for whatever reason guys, I just couldn't do it. I sort of want to be like everyone else who copes with problems, and keep it inside and function normal but for some reason I just couldn't.

I just can't understand why I was laughing. I want them to understand but there is no point at the moment. In fact, after this, they have every right to believe I made it all up because when the point came to ask all I did was just laugh. I don't know. I just feel guilty how I seriously just made my parents really depressed. It's all my fault.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Could you see a therapist instead?

I already did. I felt so much better. Sometimes I get so trapped in my thoughts I don't know I'm doing it. Now I'm more aware of it, but I just feel guilty that all of this is making the people around me hurt.

Laughter can be a good stress reliever. I don't know why you started laughing; maybe it was stress relief. I've done that before and have no insight. If it's getting to your parents maybe you could see a therapist once or twice a month to let it out if it bothers your family members. A therapist could also give you insight for future behavior.

That's a good idea. Thank you Jennifer. You're awesome.

First of all don't practice self blaming, that's not good for you. For some reason you struggled to articulate how you are struggling. And it sounds like your parents are not very helpful when it comes to your needing help/guidance. When one reaches out for help, sometimes they simply reach out to the wrong people. If you gained from seeing a therapist, then I recommend asking for that instead because as I mentioned, your parents are most likely ill suited to actually provide the help and guidance you are looking for. This is not unusual either, it happens all the time and often it's the parent's lacks that are part of the problem to begin with.

My father has the same problem sometimes; I think it happens when you're stressed. No need to feel guilty about it (although not everyone understands this..)

I agree. I decided to keep my feelings to myself because usually when I try to talk to them they push away my feelings and usually say stuff like, "Oh, here we go with this again," and it made me feel even more guilty.

Part of the issue is everyone at work, who I trusted, actually has a poor opinion of me. I trusted them and 90% of them secretly don't like me, even though I thought they did. I was happy with everything before learning this, but this happened to me back in High School as well and it just gave me not necessarily flashbacks, but memories of how people mistreated me in H.S., and years prior to that.

I'm sorry that is happening to you. I have one living parent but she just didn't get it so I added therapy. It's hard to find a good therapist who can really help you. I went through 10 or so before I found one worth her weight in gold. Good luck.

I laugh sometimes when I'm nervous. It's an instinctive response, nothing that I choose to do.

I used to laugh at people at inappropriate or serious times, no restraint. I think it was a bit of coping mechanism. I had a sincere smile I liked to let people know that what they said was right or funny or acutely observed so, even when I couldn't think of a response at the time. A smile is enough sometimes no? or do we read too deeply

Yes, you could have just been uncomfortable or nervous or stressed. Go easy on yourself. It sounds like you are going through a hard time.