[Jess2217]

Hello everyone I am new to this so hope I'm doing it right. I am also new to an all womens support group for 18-25 year olds in my city.

Emotions are talked about a lot in this group that I attend once a week, something that myself and the other members need practice at recognising and sitting with. Personally, I am almost completely closed off from my emotions and I'm really wanting to make this group work for me and help myself to open up. Problem is, I have tried to record my emotions, figure out what I'm feeling regularly each day, decipher between different emotions, and grab the chances that I do have, when I do feel something, to hold on to the feeling for as long as I can, focusing on it and attempting to sit with it.

I have had some successes at sitting with emotions, but barely any. I have been focusing on my enotions and recording them etc for the past 7 months. I think that is a long time and my progress has been minimal so far.

I have barely any ability to feel what others are feeling, or work out/understand what they might be feeling from what they have said or understanding what its like in their shoes. My emotional response to most occurences in my own experience too is also non existent mostl of the time.

So I've been attending this weekly group for 5 weeks. While I realise I'm new and it is normal to expect the process of opening up (and feeling emotions at all) to take a long time, I feel I habe been trying intentfully to feel emotions for a very long time now and I'm just not getting anywhere and worried it's not going to happen simply by attending this group and tryinf what I already know.

I know I have some big pains and enotional trauma that I am deep down preventing myself from feeling, as a self protective measure, and that I learned to do this as a child. However I am not a child anymore, I'm 22, and I want so badly to feel the pain of my past so that I can process it and let go of it. Let go of the hold of the victim inside of me and move on with my life because I am deeply unhappy at present and stuck.

I am wondering if anybody can relate to these kinds of emotional blockages and shut downs of the emotional Self, and if anybody knows how to tap in to such parts of myself and really feel my emotional experiences? If anybody knows how to tune back in to what I have so firmly tuned out of?

Thank you in advance and much love to everyone

[Skeezyks]

Hello Jess: I don't know as I would have much of anything to offer here. I pretty-much locked myself away many years ago. The only real emotion I have any more is anger. (But it's okay. I'm a "wise old troll"!) However I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

Hello Jess2217, welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit. Once you have 5 approved posts, you will be able to enter the chat room and talk to fellow members. There is almost always someone online to chat with.

[Sunflower123]

Hello!!! Welcome to PC. I don't know what to tell you but I'm here if you need to talk and I support you. I wish I could walk in your shoes for awhile. My past traumas has brought out such an emotional intensity in me that it's overwhelming to me. I'm sorry you are having an emotional block. If this group doesn't work out, what about an individual therapist to get to the bottom of it? Good luck and best wishes.

[dlantern]

This might be random, I suppose if the need is great it would be awesome If someone staged like an intervention. Only most of what you needed was actually stolen from you like being someone's child that needed you to start with not being detached immediately. I think you can do with a trusted friend or possible wonder for your child what it would be like to be emotionless, see it as important quality that your child must have. I think the tears will flow the words to describe it will happen soon enough. I think functioning is best option preserving it will be key and ultimately what you need to live have a wonderful career.

[NeedHaldol]

Funny story:

I went to a support group with my wife which was held in a business building.

We went to the wrong room and were a little late. Everyone got quiet when we entered. The apparent leader of the group asked us why we were there and welcomed us.

After a couple of minutes of explaining my situation, I was getting blank stares.

It turns out it was an elderly massage class. The real room was one down.

I'll never forget that. After that whenever I have been to group therapy, I have had no fear of sharing.

[Jess2217]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Hello!!! Welcome to PC. I don't know what to tell you but I'm here if you need to talk and I support you. I wish I could walk in your shoes for awhile. My past traumas has brought out such an emotional intensity in me that it's overwhelming to me. I'm sorry you are having an emotional block. If this group doesn't work out, what about an individual therapist to get to the bottom of it? Good luck and best wishes.

It's funny that we're both in similar shoes, however at opposite ends at the same time. You're in tune to your emotions but want to tune out like me, and I'm tuned out but want to be tuned in like you (although I do fear being overwhelmed with them). I wonder, what is it like for you feeling your emotions so intensely and what bothers you the most?

Thanks for your advice. Besides the therapy group I am now a part of, I am beginning 1-1 counselling as of next week. Hoping that time with a therapist can help to bring out my emotions so that I can process past traumas and let them go, and at least feel alive and human, rather than just an empty vessel looking in on life from the outside. I can keep the thread updated with how the counselling helps.

Thank you for support and love. Right back atcha, feel free to message me if you wanna chat to somebody! xx

[Jess2217]

Originally Posted by NeedHaldol

Funny story:

I went to a support group with my wife which was held in a business building.

We went to the wrong room and were a little late. Everyone got quiet when we entered. The apparent leader of the group asked us why we were there and welcomed us.

After a couple of minutes of explaining my situation, I was getting blank stares.

It turns out it was an elderly massage class. The real room was one down.

I'll never forget that. After that whenever I have been to group therapy, I have had no fear of sharing.

Hahaha that is very funny, thanks for the laugh!

[Jess2217]

Originally Posted by dlantern

This might be random, I suppose if the need is great it would be awesome If someone staged like an intervention. Only most of what you needed was actually stolen from you like being someone's child that needed you to start with not being detached immediately. I think you can do with a trusted friend or possible wonder for your child what it would be like to be emotionless, see it as important quality that your child must have. I think the tears will flow the words to describe it will happen soon enough. I think functioning is best option preserving it will be key and ultimately what you need to live have a wonderful career.

Thank you for responding. I'm not sure I understand what you mean, could you explain?

[Onward2wards]

Two therapists who have never met one another each told me I am an "expert emotional stuffer" and much to my shock, I realized they have a point! Your thread is really touching me right now, in a positive way. Thanks.

[Fuzzybear]

(Have definitely been told by 2 therapists I'm an emotional stuffer, thank you for posting)
(In this i believe they were accurate )