I left my therapy group. It felt like too much to handle emotionally. Now I feel like, geez, this was supposed to help me and it didn't. What's wrong with me? I really feel this way. I tried so hard. But in the end, I guess I wasn't ready. Which makes me feel like a massive loser. Regular therapy is fine. Which I'm in.

A few people have not been very validating about it. Which hurts me more. i.e. "you should stay in the group, it will help you, don't run away from your problems." I don't feel heard when people say stuff like this and I don't think people realize the extent of my emotional pain around this group.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. You should be proud that you made a tough, beneficial decision for yourself.
--Meow

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by starrysky

I left my therapy group. It felt like too much to handle emotionally. Now I feel like, geez, this was supposed to help me and it didn't. What's wrong with me? I really feel this way. I tried so hard. But in the end, I guess I wasn't ready. Which makes me feel like a massive loser. Regular therapy is fine. Which I'm in.

A few people have not been very validating about it. Which hurts me more. i.e. "you should stay in the group, it will help you, don't run away from your problems." I don't feel heard when people say stuff like this and I don't think people realize the extent of my emotional pain around this group.

Hey, if it ain't working, why do it? Group isn't for everyone. There are things I would say in one that I wouldn't say in another. Some people are just uncomfortable in group.
You made the choice for you. Good job

[Shazerac]

Seeking validation for everything is a set up for disappointment. People who are not in shoes don't understand. You did what you need to do to take care of yourself. That's empowering.

[Fuzzybear]

((((( starry )))))

It's ok, it's ok not to be ready for "therapy group"

I'm not sure that I'd be ready for therapy group even now, in "real" life

[Fuzzybear]

PS I think, some therapy groups are much healthier than others,

It could be that this group wasn't a "healthy" group for you

In fact it sounds very likely

I hope you can shed the invalidating comments (I wish the same for me)

[SorryShaped]

I actually found groups in hospital helpful, very. I could say what my problem was and others would offer suggestions, because they were there too or had worked through it already. It's easy to believe those that have the same problems.

[Sunflower123]

Good for you. Some things just don't work out. Sending big hugs.

Thank you everyone for the support and responses. I really appreciate it.
I am feeling better. I went to the gym and it was a good idea.

Shazerac, I appreciate you saying that looking for validation all the time is not helpful, and that it will disappoint me. I know it is helpful to be more secure. I'm not sure what to say about that though. Sometimes I need validation. I think that's ok. It is good to know though, that I have the final say and thought in what I do, and how I feel and making decisions. When I ask my therapist what she thinks about something, sometimes, she has me say what I think first, because she wants me to validate myself. She wants me to not rely on others for validation either, and to rely on myself more, and use my intuition and trust myself.

Fuzzy, thank you. I'm not sure what to say about the group being unhealthy. I think the facilitator tried to make it safe for people, and was professional, but I was still uncomfortable, mainly, because I'd been triggered early on by a very angry and aggressive seeming group member. I did make the group facilitator and my therapist aware of my discomfort, and they were receptive. I think I just don't do group therapy well. I think...I'm depressed and anxious, and group really seemed to bring that out of me.

Thank you again everyone.

[*Laurie*]

Oh gosh, don't feel bad about quitting group. Sometimes the group just isn't a good fit. Some people are just not 'group' people...those people do better in individual therapy.

Maybe someday you'll find a group that works for you, who knows. But for now, I think you took a courageous step.

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

Oh gosh, don't feel bad about quitting group. Sometimes the group just isn't a good fit. Some people are just not 'group' people...those people do better in individual therapy.

Maybe someday you'll find a group that works for you, who knows. But for now, I think you took a courageous step.

Thank you Laurie!! My therapist was really pushing me to be in the group. She wanted it. But I suppose I'm taking her advice now, and doing what's best for me. She is a nice person. I hope she understands. But if she doesn't, tough.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by starrysky

Thank you Laurie!! My therapist was really pushing me to be in the group. She wanted it. But I suppose I'm taking her advice now, and doing what's best for me. She is a nice person. I hope she understands. But if she doesn't, tough.

Yes! You're taking care of yourself. I remember a time when I was in a group and was ready to leave it. The therapist who facilitated the group guilt-tripped me horribly. We know when a group is working for us, and when it's not.