Self loathing

I have recently begun taking medication for depression. My doctor told me it would take up to a month to start working, and I'm on day eleven but I think it may be working somewhat - it is hard for me to tell because I have a number of physical conditions that can cause depression like symptoms and the severity of those symptoms can ebb and flow, but yeah, I'm pretty certain that it has already started working.

I am filled with self-loathing that it is necessary to take them and I'm trying to figure out if I could possibly get enough out of them to compensate for the internal condemnation I am experiencing. Anyway, I suppose no one can answer that question but me and time, but I'd accept any insight or suggestions as to what to do with these feelings. Fact is, major depressive disorder complete with romanticizing death was present before I hated myself for taking these meds...now I'm beginning to have the strength to get up and do something right about the time that the only thing I want to do is...well, you can probably figure that out on your own.

Please give your self the time that your Pdoc stated, you deserve that. Most of the time, it does take several weeks for a person to know that there is a difference, weather it is good, or bad, but you have to give it the time. Please know that there are so many people that have, and are going through exactly what you are going through. Please don't feel bad about needing this med. If you were to ask, I would say that around 1/2 the population are taking some sort of anti depressant. It is very common, and most of the time is because of some sort of chemical deficiency, at too much of a chemical your body may be making. It is a wonderful thing for anyone to work on fixing a issue that has been giving anyone problems. I praise you for doing this, bc more people end u+p with major life difficultys bc they don't work on them selves. You should be very proud of your self for this. Things will get better, it just needs some time. Don't rush your self, just take things one day at a time, and sometimes you have to take things in a shorter time frame, like a hour, or a minute at a time. But please don't give up!!!

Well... it is true, I've read, that getting on antidepressants can be a bit of a troublesome time. Prior to starting AD's a person may feel too worn down & despondent to try to harm themselves. But, as the AD's begin to take effect, the person may begin to have the energy to do what they were too beat down to do before. So there may, in fact, be something to be concerned about here. Hopefully you're seeing a therapist with whom you can talk about how you're feeling... or someone else in real life you can talk to. It's important, I believe, to find some way to process the thoughts you're dealing with so that they don't just keep rattling around in your brain.

If you happen to have stumbled onto some of my replies, to various other members' posts, you may already be aware that my go-to technique for dealing with my own negative thoughts is a practice referred to as "compassionate abiding". Perhaps you're familiar with it? Here's a link to a description of the practice just in case you're not:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

Beyond that, I think the only thing I can say is that there's no shame in taking antidepressants... any more than there is in taking any other type of med. But, of course, intellectually I suspect you already know that. Knowing it, & accepting it for yourself, can be two different things. Please take care...

Bingo.