[randomer123]

Out of all of the negative emotions I feel, jealousy is probably the worst and most damaging. Even some of my other emotions are based on jealousy of some sort, maybe all of them are.

For as long as I can remember I've always been jealous of others. Really jealous, sometimes even enough to hate them and be horrible to them. The furthest back I remember was at first school; the other kids had toys I thought were cool and wanted but I wasn't allowed for whatever reason, so I hated them. I am still like that now, there are so many things I want but can't have. And I see other people with them and I get VERY jealous and hate them. This is not only physical objects now, it has extended to other non-physical things.

Things I am jealous of:
Objects I can't afford (and people who own them)
Objects I can't have for some other reason (and people who own them)
People who live in decent places and can have peace and quiet and sleep whenever they want/need. What makes me more angry is when people have this but don't "use" it, they choose to stay up making as much noise as possible and sleep through the day, then whinge about how terrible they feel all of the time (I am stuck under noise and will never have a healthy sleeping pattern ever again)
Other women who are "attractive" and can get boyfrieds and husbands and have a normal life (I am very ugly and will be single forever)
People who have jobs, money and can do pretty much whatever they want (i'll be unemployed and poor forever because I am useless)

There's probably more things I've forgotton but those are the main ones. I know jealousy is an UGLY emotion and it makes me ill, and causes so many other problems, but I can't help it, it's how I've always been.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm really sorry. It's understandable you'd feel this way.. but please remember that jealousy is a negative emotion - try to not get too caught up in it, or else life will be even more difficult.

[rjdb]

Jealousy is a very unflattering emotion, unfortunately, but very common.

[randomer123]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm really sorry. It's understandable you'd feel this way.. but please remember that jealousy is a negative emotion - try to not get too caught up in it, or else life will be even more difficult.

I have already made life more difficult for myself with this. I know I shouldn't be feeling like this, it doesn't help in anyway or achieve anything. But it just comes naturally and before I can stop it, it has got too bad.

[MickeyCheeky]

Yeah, I understand how you feel. You can't make it disappear, but I suppose you can learn to control it.

[randomer123]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Yeah, I understand how you feel. You can't make it disappear, but I suppose you can learn to control it.

There is a way to control jealousy?

[Aviza]

Yes by being grateful for the things you do have. By being grateful for the good things in your life. The more you seek out things to be grateful for the happier you will be.

[Deejay14]

Originally Posted by Aviza

Yes by being grateful for the things you do have. By being grateful for the good things in your life. The more you seek out things to be grateful for the happier you will be.

Yes Avisa. You are absolutely right about that.

[randomer123]

Originally Posted by Aviza

Yes by being grateful for the things you do have. By being grateful for the good things in your life. The more you seek out things to be grateful for the happier you will be.

Originally Posted by Deejay14

Yes Avisa. You are absolutely right about that.

I don't have a lot, and I have tried this. But I still want these things, and know I can never have them, and this causes some frustrations. I wish I could just accept that there is a lot I just simply can't have and forget about it.

I wish I could control my obsessions, then I could become obsessed with things I can easily buy and have.

[DoroMona]

Sometimes I use drawing as an outlet to satisfy my "want" for things. Like I love sweets. Sometimes I'll find a beautiful picture of a slice of cake and draw it rather than buying cake and eating it. Maybe you can find an artistic outlet to satisfy some of your cravings. BTW I'm a bad drawer and always was, but copying a clipart sketch off of the internet once a day gives me some satisfaction. And additionally, developing a skill you take pride in will help you value yourself regardless of your physical appearance. It could be anything, even just photography with your camera phone if you have one, or origami with newspaper. There's a materialistic satisfaction in creating an origami shape, drawing a picture, or taking a good photo. It certainly helps me spend less money!

Maybe there's a basis for your desire for things that you could slowly unravel. Sounds like you're already doing a lot of wrestling with yourself. I don't know if jealousy can maybe be a symptom of some childhood environment or experience, but if you keep on inspecting your feelings of jealousy and keep on trying to understand yourself, maybe you'll find some answers that can give you peace.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by randomer123

Out of all of the negative emotions I feel, jealousy is probably the worst and most damaging. Even some of my other emotions are based on jealousy of some sort, maybe all of them are.

For as long as I can remember I've always been jealous of others. Really jealous, sometimes even enough to hate them and be horrible to them. The furthest back I remember was at first school; the other kids had toys I thought were cool and wanted but I wasn't allowed for whatever reason, so I hated them. I am still like that now, there are so many things I want but can't have. And I see other people with them and I get VERY jealous and hate them. This is not only physical objects now, it has extended to other non-physical things.

Things I am jealous of:
Objects I can't afford (and people who own them)
Objects I can't have for some other reason (and people who own them)
People who live in decent places and can have peace and quiet and sleep whenever they want/need. What makes me more angry is when people have this but don't "use" it, they choose to stay up making as much noise as possible and sleep through the day, then whinge about how terrible they feel all of the time (I am stuck under noise and will never have a healthy sleeping pattern ever again)
Other women who are "attractive" and can get boyfrieds and husbands and have a normal life (I am very ugly and will be single forever)
People who have jobs, money and can do pretty much whatever they want (i'll be unemployed and poor forever because I am useless)

There's probably more things I've forgotton but those are the main ones. I know jealousy is an UGLY emotion and it makes me ill, and causes so many other problems, but I can't help it, it's how I've always been.

I'm sorry! I'm poor myself! Try to find positive quotes to help me deal my emotions.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm really sorry. It's understandable you'd feel this way.. but please remember that jealousy is a negative emotion - try to not get too caught up in it, or else life will be even more difficult.

That is great advice. I'll add that to my quote

Are there goals you can set in order to obtain for yourself some of these things you really want?

For what it’s worth..... Disregard my story if it doesn’t apply.... Years ago I was married to someone who made a lot of money. When I left and moved into a small little house I was so happy because everything was mine - earned and paid for by me - and it was all paid for because I don’t like to be in debt. I sacrificed and saved for everything and I was content. I thought it was heaven compared to living with my ex. I remember my stomach would turn just thinking about the lifestyle my ex lived and I was so happy to be free of it.

My ex still makes a lot of money and still has lots of really nice things... a lot more than I will ever have... but he’s up to his eyeballs in debt and there is no peace in his lifestyle. I wouldn’t go back to that... ever...

There is always a different side to things that we do not see. When it comes to jealousy... we are only looking at one side. It’s not the whole picture and it’s not usually entirely true.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by rjdb

Jealousy is a very unflattering emotion, unfortunately, but very common.

I agree. My entire family this way.

[randomer123]

Originally Posted by DoroMona

Sometimes I use drawing as an outlet to satisfy my "want" for things. Like I love sweets. Sometimes I'll find a beautiful picture of a slice of cake and draw it rather than buying cake and eating it. Maybe you can find an artistic outlet to satisfy some of your cravings. BTW I'm a bad drawer and always was, but copying a clipart sketch off of the internet once a day gives me some satisfaction. And additionally, developing a skill you take pride in will help you value yourself regardless of your physical appearance. It could be anything, even just photography with your camera phone if you have one, or origami with newspaper. There's a materialistic satisfaction in creating an origami shape, drawing a picture, or taking a good photo. It certainly helps me spend less money!

Maybe there's a basis for your desire for things that you could slowly unravel. Sounds like you're already doing a lot of wrestling with yourself. I don't know if jealousy can maybe be a symptom of some childhood environment or experience, but if you keep on inspecting your feelings of jealousy and keep on trying to understand yourself, maybe you'll find some answers that can give you peace.

I'm really bad at drawing. I actually have tried to draw some of these things but they turned out so bad they made me feel worse. I do look at pictures though, photos etc.

Originally Posted by Sisabel

Are there goals you can set in order to obtain for yourself some of these things you really want?

For what it’s worth..... Disregard my story if it doesn’t apply.... Years ago I was married to someone who made a lot of money. When I left and moved into a small little house I was so happy because everything was mine - earned and paid for by me - and it was all paid for because I don’t like to be in debt. I sacrificed and saved for everything and I was content. I thought it was heaven compared to living with my ex. I remember my stomach would turn just thinking about the lifestyle my ex lived and I was so happy to be free of it.

My ex still makes a lot of money and still has lots of really nice things... a lot more than I will ever have... but he’s up to his eyeballs in debt and there is no peace in his lifestyle. I wouldn’t go back to that... ever...

There is always a different side to things that we do not see. When it comes to jealousy... we are only looking at one side. It’s not the whole picture and it’s not usually entirely true.

Good point. These are things I can never have, even with money, and things I can't save up for or work towards. I have to accept that I can never have them. But some other people have them and it's not so much the object/situation that makes me jealous, but the fact that they can and I can't.