[WishfulThinker66]

How does your mental illness challenge your loved ones?

My boyfriend is really struggling. He is desperate to be more supportive and help in my personal battles (mostly anxiety and depression). He does his best to encourage me. Yet despite his efforts, this time around, my anxiety is so strong his support barely makes a dent in it. It is not a matter of him being insensitive or saying the wrong things for he actually is very positive. But he struggles with seeing me remain in my worried state and/or funks. Seeing me throw up everyday is troubling for him.

He is also troubled with the lack of noticable improvement since I have started therapy. He has made the mistake of thinking that therapy is a solution which will improve my situation. I have told him there is no fix that the answer lays in my developing some coping skills. But this too I point out won't make the anxiety go away. It merely allows me to challenge and cope with it. He is grasping at straws trying to figure out how to help me.

[MickeyCheeky]

((((WishfulThinker66)))) I'm sorry to hear about this. The only thing you can do is remind him that you're very grateful for what he's doing and that his efforts are not wasted. It's clear from what he wrote that he really loves you. .sadhug:

[paintedturtle]

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

How does your mental illness challenge your loved ones?

My boyfriend is really struggling. He is desperate to be more supportive and help in my personal battles (mostly anxiety and depression). He does his best to encourage me. Yet despite his efforts, this time around, my anxiety is so strong his support barely makes a dent in it. It is not a matter of him being insensitive or saying the wrong things for he actually is very positive. But he struggles with seeing me remain in my worried state and/or funks. Seeing me throw up everyday is troubling for him.

He is also troubled with the lack of noticable improvement since I have started therapy. He has made the mistake of thinking that therapy is a solution which will improve my situation. I have told him there is no fix that the answer lays in my developing some coping skills. But this too I point out won't make the anxiety go away. It merely allows me to challenge and cope with it. He is grasping at straws trying to figure out how to help me.

I understand this completely. I am married to an amazing man (14 years on December 23rd) and he is so loving and supportive that I don't understand it. I was raised in a very abusive and unsupportive family and I still have scars that i haven't dealt with, so I react to him in, what I consider, inappropriate ways. I feel so guilty and I have been so sick (physically) heart surgery, bleeding ulcer, type II diabetes and the burden of running the household has fallen on him completely. Iknowhe's tired and he never says a word or complains, and then I still react to him like he has the potential to be an abuser. I'm scared all the time and I have panic attacks daily that he feels helpless to help releive. I've been off my meds since the surgery so I rarely sleep and my moods are all over the place. I'm trying to get back on meds,but they literaly have to have a committee meeting to determine what mes will e safe for me. I'm waiting for a call back and I'm losing patience. Sorry this is so long. I seem to be really wordy lately. - Mary / PaintedTurtle

[WishfulThinker66]

Originally Posted by paintedturtle

I understand this completely. I am married to an amazing man (14 years on December 23rd) and he is so loving and supportive that I don't understand it. I was raised in a very abusive and unsupportive family and I still have scars that i haven't dealt with, so I react to him in, what I consider, inappropriate ways. I feel so guilty and I have been so sick (physically) heart surgery, bleeding ulcer, type II diabetes and the burden of running the household has fallen on him completely. Iknowhe's tired and he never says a word or complains, and then I still react to him like he has the potential to be an abuser. I'm scared all the time and I have panic attacks daily that he feels helpless to help releive. I've been off my meds since the surgery so I rarely sleep and my moods are all over the place. I'm trying to get back on meds,but they literaly have to have a committee meeting to determine what mes will e safe for me. I'm waiting for a call back and I'm losing patience. Sorry this is so long. I seem to be really wordy lately. - Mary / PaintedTurtle

No worry on the wordiness - we seem to be a match for that!

But seriously, your reply really pained me to hear. I feel so very concerned for you and your own struggle but am also cheering you and your husband on. I am so happy to learn that for all your physical and emotional struggles you are not alone in battling them. I think this is a big 'win'. So many do not have our luck in finding compassion and encouragement. I hold your hand up high in a big 'yay'.

Now, if only we can find a way to take the emotional burden off of our partners' backs. I have suggested a support group for friends and family supporting those with mood disorders. It could at least be a start. It has been suggested I take him along to a session with my T and/or pdoc. I am not ready to jump on board with that though.