To Move or Not to Move?

Sorry in advance for the long post and/or ranting. I’ve had these thoughts for awhile now but it’s just now that I’ve began to acknowledge and process them

TL;DR? Ultimately this issue will come down to a later final decision when I obtain a job, but since PC has been a real support group to this point, I value your opinions and leave you with this question: To Move or Not to Move?That is the question

I used to be quite enthusiastic about starting a career in the same city I currently attend college, but I’m starting to burn out and have second thoughts.

The primary reason for these thoughts is my desire for a change in scenery. In my time that I have lived in this city to attend school, I’ve been exposed to very toxic environments through immature, self-entitled students in my department, group projects gone haywire, and finding many of the residents of this town and social organizations I’ve attended to be close-minded and unaccepting of viewpoints and personalities other than their own. So-called friends seemed to disappear when I started to have problems toward the end of my undergraduate years with a series of academic struggles and difficult relationships, contributing to anxiety and a soured attitude toward people in general.

I can’t deny that this university is the place where I’ve accomplished significant self-discovery, thus I have found several high-quality friendships, but the few people I met in undergrad that remained true friends moved away upon graduation and starting grad school, leaving me and many of those bad influences and fake friends behind sardined in one uncomfortable space. I travel quite a bit, including making trips to see friends, so the few true friends that are still here I can still make time to see if I move away.

Likewise, the ideal for students comes off to be highly extroverted and uphold maximum capacity for their social lives (partying, rushing to date, squeezing in as many activities as one can handle, etc), frequently reinforced through social media by many of the “friends” I previously mentioned. Apparently being single, keeping a smaller group of high quality friendships, valuing school/work over social activity, and being a bookworm are shameful ways of being. This is far from reality, but still can’t shake the air that social butterflies and party-goers are seen as more valuable. Being a grad student, I’m also several years older than most of the undergraduate students here so there’s already conflicting life paths and values present, more notable in our early 20s. This has hindered personal growth and opportunities for lasting relationships as I wind down school for good. Even my university has several departments handling ethics and diversity issues because of its history of diversity problems, but I’m sure there’s those issues anywhere I go.

My city has become congested to the extreme due to the rapid growth of the student body and loosening admission requirements. Because the infrastructure currently is having problems with unforeseen growth, weekday rush hour traffic often borderlines major metropolis-levels. I guess if I work in an urban community, it is something I will have to get used to, which I’m fine with since I’ve already been somewhat exposed to heavy traffic here. However college-aged drivers and infrastructure not yet adjusted to the current population is not a good combination.

The traffic and the university’s transition from a Cheers-like atmosphere to something like a large and depersonalized corporation is a common complaint made by people from my graduating class. This could be to blame for the boom of the “kidults” I’ve seen in college.

Also arising from the increase in population is an increase in crime. A drunk man banged noisily on my back door at 1 am a few weeks ago, waking up my neighbors, and forcing us to call the police. On the same occasion, various cars were broken into and stolen. This is happening in the gated community I’ve lived in for grad school!

I have entertained these thoughts of moving for several months, particularly after my aunt initially brought up the topic last summer, so I’ve signed up for job alerts in several regions of my home state. My parents have had successful careers in medicine, and I am also employed in a well-paying online job that I can still participate in another region, so my family members believe they can support me emotionally and financially wherever I may wander.

Although there are several full-time jobs in my field of interest present in my current city, pay often ranges all the way upwards of 6 figs further supporting a potential switch, and these jobs are far more abundant elsewhere. A few jobs I applied for here turned me down.

I have pretended to be happy in my current city for as long as possible, but as my parents and extended family members have noticed the turn in my attitude toward the worst and my loss of interest in this city’s atmosphere and happenings; they have all agreed starting a new chapter could be highly beneficial. I often come home to my parents’ home for days off complaining about what my city has become and the people that are in my circle. Again this is a matter that will be left for me and employers decide but with everything considered, there is nothing to lose with a blank slate, except lingering bad memories.

Start looking for a job in other areas and states. If you finda job, move to the new area. You are young and it’s the right age to move to a new place. Find a job first

Thanks divine1966. Already on it with looking at potential job opps and expanding my horizons!

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, DazedandConfused254 If you feel like moving would be the best option for you, and you can afford it, then I'd suggest to go for it by all means! You're an adult and you can make your own decisions. If you don't like your city anynore and you see more opportunities elsewhere., I don't see any reason why you should stay there if you don't want to. It's a good think you're looking for new opportunities. I completely agree with what divine1966 has already wisely said. I hope you'll be able to find a job soon. That's the priority in my opinion. It seems like you have everything already figured it out. You're looking for a job, looking for the best opportunity for yourself, and you also have your parents' help if it's necessary. Good for you! Be proud of yourself for that. I wish you the best of luck with this journey you've decided to make. I'm sure you'll get through this. Stay strong, DazednadnConfused254. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're a strong, wonderful person. You can do this! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

Thanks so much @MickeyCheeky!!! This support makes me all the more grateful we're friends here on PC, and is exactly what I've been looking for, and knew I would get it on here. As my grandmother often says about little ruts like what I've been through living in my current town, "this too shall pass". Thank you so much for encouraging me and supporting me on whatever path I embark! This is very empowering!

I'm glad I was able to help a bit, DazedandConfused254 I'm sure you'll get through this. I'ìd suggest to just do whathever you feel like it's the best thing to do for you. Listen to your heart and mind and try to follow it. I'd suggest to make a plan as well. You're already doing that after all. Remember that we're here for you fi you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

Quote:

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky I'm glad I was able to help a bit, DazedandConfused254 I'm sure you'll get through this. I'ìd suggest to just do whathever you feel like it's the best thing to do for you. Listen to your heart and mind and try to follow it. I'd suggest to make a plan as well. You're already doing that after all. Remember that we're here for you fi you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

That's always a good option. If the best thing possible is not found in my current town, I am eager to discover what that may look like somewhere else. I have definitely been in the process of beginning to form some kind of plan, just wherever can take me in will work! Thanks as always for your encouragement and support!