[Zevvy]

I went No Contact on my ex two years ago and I've barely spoken to him since then. Once I finally escaped his lies and manipulations, I found a sense of happiness and stability that I haven't felt in years. I'm doing great in my career and I've reconnected with my family. I'll admit that he made me feel amazing at first. But that didn't last long. He made me anxious and unsure of myself, especially during those last few months. I was miserable with him, always feeling like I was standing at the edge of a cliff. Why then am I getting this urge to call him? I know where it will lead. I know he won't change and he'll make me feel miserable all over again.

I made this account because I was having these feelings, but then I didn't post because I was too afraid to acknowledge them. I didn't want these feelings to be real and I thought they'd go away if I didn't think about them. I thought I was over this.

[divine1966]

It’s not uncommon to feel this way about one’s exes. When time passes, we subconsciously forget what led to the break and miss good things. Then it’s tempting to reconnect.

Try to not forget bad things and keep repeating to yourself about what led to a break up. I want to encourage you to not reconnect with your ex as it will not lead to anything good.

Are you seeing a therapist to help you process all this?

[Zevvy]

Thank you so much for the encouragement! I'm trying hard not to forget all of the bad things. I know it won't lead to anything good and that he won't change. As much as I keep trying to tell myself that, I still feel this pull. I'm trying so hard to stay away from him. We don't live near each other and I rarely see him thankfully, and he hasn't tried to contact me in over a year now.

I'm just so frustrated with myself that I can't let this go. Yes I'll keep reminding myself of all the misery he caused me. At the same time though I don't want to keep ruminating on this relationship. I feel like he still has a hold on me and on my life.

I'm sorry for venting. I haven't told anyone close to me. I think it would shock my close friends if they knew I still thought about him so often. I saw a therapist for a few months after we first broke up, then I stopped seeing her because I moved. Maybe I need to go back.

[divine1966]

I do think seeing a new therapist is a good idea

[Zevvy]

I think you're right. I'll make an appointment first thing next week. Thanks for listening!