Really crappy holiday season

Thanksgiving SUCKED. My husband and I fought, so he didn't come to my family's house for Thanksgiving dinner.

Christmas SUCKED because I had to work on Christmas eve day (when I shouldn't have worked) and it ruined my Christmas. I was severely depressed instead.

And now New Years SUCKS because I screwed up and did something wrong. Now my husband is angry with me.

Happy end of 2019 and Happy 2020. I just want to curl up and die now.

Even my signature is depressing me. I don't feel that way right now at all.

Well, I feel you. I worked through Thanksgiving so I could take that weekend off, but my biggest client still kept pestering me while I was trying to take the first weekend off I'd taken ALL year. Then I came to visit my family for Christmas, got the flu from my stupid brother, and had to cancel my first real vacation in all of 2019 to visit my friend. I'm trying to make the most of it though. I figure, always look on the bright side cause I've spent too much of my life being angry and not having fun. Not going to let stupid stuff get in my way of enjoying what little time I have on this earth.

You and your husband love each other. Everything else is just small stuff right? Not trying to minimize your feelings; I know the hurt is real; but for me it also helps to think in the grand scheme of what I want - and if I wanted a nice holiday with my husband, I might try to just compartmentalize and say, I will discuss this in detail after the holiday, but I love him and want to enjoy this day. So I'm letting it go for now. I will pick it back up tomorrow.

I don't know if that works for you or not. I've just spent too much of my life being miserable that I won't allow it anymore.

Hope that helps.

Seesaw

Oh dear.... you're SO right. I needed to hear some perspective, so thank you.

I do try to look at the bright side, or as much as I can, but I can definitely get bogged down in negative thinking. And that's all I've been doing! Coloring everything negative.

I have a hard time compartmentalizing, but I can put something off until tomorrow. That's the only way I know how to compartmentalize.

But yes, my husband and I love each other very much. That's the bigger picture. He'll get over his anger towards me and my recent f-up... I told him he must because marriage involves forgiveness. I seem to need a lot of forgiveness lately. Grrr.

Sorry your vacation got cancelled. I hope you can find something else enjoyable for yourself. Sounds like you will, if you're making the best of it all. That's great!

I think the best approach to the holidays is to not have expectations and try to get things to fit into some ideal.

Ooh boy, that's soooo hard for me. I have all sorts of expectations in life. That's like asking myself to change who I fundamentally am. LOL.

Blessed are those who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed

I like that. But how does one accomplish expecting nothing, I wonder?

I struggled through the holidays too cause I was alone most of the time. I felt a lot of disappointment toward my family and then I started remembering what my old T had suggested, which is what is being talked about. She recommended I lower my expectations of other people. It lowers your risk of feeling hurt when things don't go your way. I just had to tell myself today to lower my expectations. It's just self talk. You do it enough and things bother you less.

I'm sorry you struggled as well. It's not easy when you are alone.

And thank you..... that's great advice. I will follow it.