[sarcgeo]

It has been a while since I last posted on here. No real changes have happened in my life. I have seen my daughter perhaps a few times, but not enough time. I feel like I am losing time with her and I feel that I am losing her.

Meanwhile, in this drama, we have this global pandemic that has literally tested my feelings of isolation. Before, I could go somewhere if I felt lonely and surround myself with human beings. Now, I suffer in silence. My therapist can only do phone calls and they are not really helping me.

In the midst of all this negativity, I am trying to find a suitable partner to date. Yes, I know we are in a global pandemic, but I feel I need some light in my life. Yet, again I have had my profile on several websites, and no messages. Perhaps I am not ready yet and if I did meet someone, I may have too much baggage.

I am a broken man just trying to find some solace in the world. I wish I could see my daughter more often. I wish my heart wouldn't get stomped on so much. Having someone to come home to would be so nice, someone to share my life.

I have a golden heart and a few of my friends state that I deserve what I desire. It is mind boggling to me the enigma of the online dating world. I can't believe that I am so repulsive as to not merit a response from any woman. But, that is where my situation lies, and I sit and float on my raft on this wild ocean.

So alone, that I want to scream I need a hug. I need compassion and I need human touch.
--sarc

[AzulOscuro]

I’m sure you are a marvellous person and have lots of affection to give, but be careful, please. The best way to approach to a romantic relation is not when you feel low. You must know why you are feeling this desperation and try to fix it up before.
In the meantime you can have your friendship.
Is there something that prevent you from making or having friends? Social anxiety or something similar?

[sarcgeo]

AzulOscuro,

Thanks for responding! I know I may not be ready for a relationship, as I am a chaotic mess. Perhaps my post was meant to serve as a source to vent. I am frustrated.
What prevents me from having many friends is that I have trouble trusting people. This is from the abuse I suffered as a child. I have a hard time trusting people and now since my pending divorce, this has been amplified a thousandfold.

--sarc

[AzulOscuro]

A divorce or a separation is always a hard thing to face to. I understand you.
Don’t take it as a failure. Look at your last relationship as something that worked for a time and from which you had a marvellous daughter.