I have always been on high alert with people. My emotions have always been high around people. I don't know why, but I am aware of it when I am alone and contemplating why I am alone and lonely all the time and have no people in my life. I haven't allowed the slightest mistakes from others, while I have made tons of mistakes, and by being quick to point out their mistakes I made mistakes. This is not fair. I hope I could rationalize this all the time instead of making snap judgments, but it seems that my primitive brain is in control in "perceived danger" situations that feel like threats to my survival, which are really not. I am trying to work on this when I am alone to tame my primitive brain, so I could practice patience and tolerance and understanding towards others, and let them into my life.

I am not perfect, but I'm hoping to be better.

Thanks for reading

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for sharing your struggle. Hopefully being here on PC can be of some comfort & support as you work on being better.

[Laurielrocks]

Wow I get it.. I can only explain that when I was a child I was "hunted" When I was six or seven I would hide in the woods. To this day my senses are scute to every footstep every sound... I am always aware of my surroundings, I always pay attention to who is watching me , I trust no one.. Anyone who has ever gotten close enough to be considered a friend is protected by me.. I am guarded.. and I guard those I care about. I was diagnosed Severe PTSD severe Anxiety. When I was younger Nobody got close to me. I am married .. have what I consider a few great friends who if anyone hurt.. Omgosh ,, Its not fair to be hard on yourself . I judged HARSHLY.. I was an asshole to many. I made a lot of mistakes... but I knew there was something inside eating away at me making me the way I was.. There was.. it was awful.. Took me years to get guts to dig inside to get it out.. dont put yourself down... if there is something you know that is going on in you.. and you think your ready to confront it.. or havent had good experiences trying in past ... dont give up..

Still snapping at people, unfortunately, although not in their face. But I am angry again of how I am being treated. I am trying hard to stay calm and not let this affecting my peace and interactions with others.