Ugh.

They're little things. And I don't think I coped very well. I already don't feel well. I'm moving next week, and dealing with internet installation **** with terrible customer service.

The guy behind me, driving, on the way to my parents house, felt I was going too slow and honked at me and acted exasperated. I flipped him off. Nothing happened. He backed off. But I really regret flipping most ppl off. It makes me feel bad too. I don't want to bring that negativity into the world.

I already felt like **** though. I was thinking about how I feel...unworthy of being in a relationship, as I am. Because no one has really...no one has said "I like you, WG. You're attractive, and I LIKE you." I volunteer and I've come to realize I totally have a crush on my boss. I like love him. He is so kind and wonderful. But maybe he's not that wonderful. I feel discouraged / let down every time I volunteer. I volunteered today. I get that it would never happen anyway. He's my boss. But the things I tell myself...make me feel worse, like, " he wouldn't pick you anyway." I really need to stop that. Maybe I should do the picking. He's completely wrong for me bc he's my boss and I work with him. And if we didn't work together and he couldn't see my worth, **** him.

Geezuz effing krist. I can't believe I still think this way, so negatively about myself. I need to change. I'd really love to change. For the record, I'm pretty. I'm not model pretty. But I'm cute and pretty and my personality, well, I don't know. I could probably work on myself. I'm kind of critical of my personality.

[Bill3]

((((((((WovenGalaxy))))))))

I appreciate you.

[divine1966]

We like you!

Try to see a positive thing in something that appears negative? Like look for a silver lining?

Hey nothing wrong with flipping off people who honk for no reason. They create problems on the road and causing accidents. If flipping them off makes them backing off, then hey you possibly prevented an accident, so it’s a positive thing

Honestly if you volunteer then he isn’t really your boss in the sense that dating him wouldn’t be appropriate. I don’t currently volunteer but I used to, I didn’t think of anyone really being my boss because they weren’t my employers and I wasn’t bound by employee contract. I don’t believe this policy of bosses dating subordinates extends to volunteer position, I might be wrong of course.. Is he single?

@Bill3 Thanks Bill

@divine1966 Divine, I really like the idea of looking for silver linings. Thanks for the reminder / idea.

In terms of my boss / guy I volunteer with, he used to have a gf. He may still. I don't know. But I forgot about that. He may have a gf! Also I friended him on Facebook once recently, and he did not accept the request. After a week, I clicked cancel. He is clearly not sending me any signals. In fact, he's nice, but sending me signals of disinterest. As polite communication, I say "how are you?" Lately he will bypass and talk about the organization instead of himself. I noticed he even will say "good" then say "I mean, the organization is good" and then talk about that. So, I think all that, I guess it does get to me. Maybe I don't "love" him. I mean, I'm worth more. I'm worth an accepted friend request and being let into someone's life. There's no pressure from me for that to happen with him. It just makes me sad. I do like volunteering there. But I wonder why I like it. Its something to journal about. Maybe I could scale back and do something else. Though I think I also want to feel better about myself. I wouldn't want to leave just bc of this. But it is a trigger for me. Something to contemplate. Also I get crushes easily. He's not the only one lol.

[RoxanneToto]

It sounds like there were rather a lot of ‘little things’ in a short space of time; it’s ok to feel like you didn’t deal with them well. Some things you’ll deal with better on another day. While you hate flipping people off, it’s good that it made the other driver think a bit and back off. Impatience can be a killer!
I really like how you acknowledge you’re worth more than what this man is willing/able to offer, even if you might wish things could be different. I‘ve often found it hard to step back and get a little perspective when I’ve had strong crushes before.
Hope tomorrow is better for you!

Thanks RoxanneToto. Yeah its a lot on top of moving. Yeah I agree that sometimes we deal better than other times and its ok. Re the guy, I'd not say its a strong crush. I think I'm just very drawn to him but yeah, moving on from that.

I can relate to what you said about it being hard to step back from strong crushes. I feel I'm getting better at stepping back from a lot of things with good therapy. It can take time, the getting perspective, imo. I wanted to contact someone, a very strong crush actually, and decided not to, after getting perspective, space, and listening to myself, and talking it out w someone I trust.

[Christmas cookie]

I think finding a positive trait about yourself can help make the negative one's disappear. I'm good, talented at xyz, I'm kind to others etc. You are a good person Woven

Moving is stressful. New city, new job? Family and friends to help?

Originally Posted by Christmas cookie

I think finding a positive trait about yourself can help make the negative one's disappear. I'm good, talented at xyz, I'm kind to others etc. You are a good person Woven

Moving is stressful. New city, new job? Family and friends to help?

I agree. Thanks.

Same city, different apt. Yup, I've got family / friends / support to help.

[Discombobulated]

WG how are things going for you today? I hope you are feeling better and your move has gone okay.

Maybe you feel self critical at moments of stress? Do you feel overwhelmed perhaps? This is something that can happen with me. We are all human and imperfect but most defintely worthy of love and respect from others.

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

WG how are things going for you today? I hope you are feeling better and your move has gone okay.

Maybe you feel self critical at moments of stress? Do you feel overwhelmed perhaps? This is something that can happen with me. We are all human and imperfect but most defintely worthy of love and respect from others.

I posted another thread here. Doing okay.