How are you coping today? #3

I’m exhausted from struggle and tired of myself.

I got up at 4am today I am feeling good and am looking forward to the day.Just a few light chores to do,then iron a tablecloth and put on table,have a shower,paint my nails,get dressed.My niece is coming for dinner,make a steak dinner,eat,then we gonna chill play nintendo switch,Who wants to be a millionaire quiz show game, and watch some of my Fraiser Boxset.It should be a good day!

I'm feeling relaxed this evening, I walked outdoors even though the weather is rather wild and feel better for it. A gift I ordered for my husband arrived and I'm really happy with it and looking forward to giving him it.

I'm coping. I've been keeping busy. And I've been cooking. I just made chili.

I’m doing good today. I got my chores done. and I just felt better today. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot of last July when I had something removed in the ER, and I don’t know. I’ve just been kinda traumatized by it ever since. I guess it was the area they were working on. And the massive amount of pain the procedure caused. and just how everything was completely out of my control. With bad mental health issues I had years ago I was somewhat in control of what was going on. and there wasn’t severe pain involved. But this thing in July was something physical that I didn’t do myself and everything was seriously out of my control. I just feel kinda messed up from it. Which I think may be why I’m scared to go to doctors now.

I coping really bad. I realize today that I am giving up one of my lifelong dream.

It’s hard to tell. I often feel like I need to go IP to the mental health hospital. But then the next day I don’t feel good physically and I’m all achy and stuff. I rarely have a 100% good day. Today it’s a toss up between my physical or mental health being more of an issue.

I coped well today, I worked then came home and rested up before making some vegetarian chilli for tea.

Should I be angry that I just found out it was my neighbor going up into the attic because she heard a noise and that was probably the entire thing.

I was very stressed this morning. So I did some coloring, had mac'n cheese and fixed myself a frappuccino. I feel somewhat better now. But I could use some more sleep.

Hanging in there.

I’m doing ok today. Once I started reading I felt better. My therapist doesn’t like my reading material but I’ve always had therapists and other people harp on the books I choose to read. It’s nothing new. This is also the supposed date my period is supposed to come. So I may be feeling the relief of not having PMS. I also took my second split dose yesterday morning. So I do think the combination of that and the PMS being gone is helping. I feel like I can actually take care of important things now.

I also cut way down on my Xanax which is huge for me.

I was tired at the end of the day yesterday because of two doctor appointments and running my son around (his bus pass expired and when it is updated online it takes a while to kick in plus he can get things done faster when I drive him). The rash I had on one cheek since November (with all the talk of maskne, I thought that was what it was) has finally been referred to a dermatologist. It happened because I saw on a post somewhere that @BethRags advised someone that (do not remember the exact quote, it was through a link similiar to this: Rosacea is an inflammatory condition that affects 16 million Americans. Its main features include redness, visible blood vessels and bumps that form mostly on the face. “Rosacea can both imitate and mask different forms of skin cancer,” explains Dr. Sandwich. Two common skin cancers, basal cell carcinoma (BCC) and squamous cell carcinoma (SCC), often appear as red patches on the skin, similar to rosacea. How Skin Conditions Can Affect Skin Cancer Detection and Treatment - The Skin Cancer Foundation -- since I have already have had basal cell skin cancer removed on my upper lip and on the skin above my lip (my upper lip no longer has that cute bow shape) -- I thought that my "rash" needed to be investigated. That it is only on one cheek seems odd. My primary care doc finally took some action on this when I showed her to above article via email. Thanks @BethRags

I'm having a difficult time. It's hard to sleep right now and I'm just eating and eating because nothing else is helping. I may just go back to bed and meditate.

So I woke up this morning to my cat going bonkers at me. Normally he does become a pain when he wants food. SO I got up and heard out of my left ear... bzzzzzzzz.

I shook my head like mad and heard something fly away.

It is very cold where I am and we have these "stink bugs" that occasionally get into the house. They get in the attic and then, particularly when it is cold, the get into the house via my can ceiling lighting. It isn't a lot. Maybe 1 per week.

But I never had one like about to go in my ear..

Ewwwwwwww.

Reasonably ok.

I feel like I am doing horrible none of my coping skills are working today.

I am so tired, and I have to do a heap of overtime because of a covid case leading to a big chunk of staff self isolating and the rest of us have to pick up their shifts with less people for the same workload. I'm fed up tbh but got to hang on in there, another 7 days of it to go.

I am trying but not coping very well at the moment.

I’m coping well today. Right now my anxiety is high and I think I need to eat since I haven't eaten since noon but my mind just wants meds to get rid of my anxiety. Not food.

I’ve been having a big issue figuring out if things are hunger or anxiety.

I am so tired. Its only around 6pm here. I ate pizza and a cookie plus a half of another one. I'm probably crashing. I also went to bed really late last night so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm just resting, relaxing here now.

I am going in what seems to be close to the direction I'm feeling is right for me.

I thought I’d be completely down that I am officially getting a new therapist in 2.5 weeks. But honestly I feel pretty good about the whole thing. And now my move is actually kinda making me excited since therapy was my only reason for wanting to stay up here.

I had a lot of pain and anxiety and stuff this morning. So I took a couple Pepcid, a few Xanax and a Tylenol. Which made me feel better. Plus I’ve been in bed all day.

This morning I googled symptoms of pancreatic cancer which was not a good idea.

I'd like to go to the store pretty soon. I need to come up with some strength first. I'm having a cup of coffee right now, hopefully to give me a lift.