Loneliness and MSF

I feel the opposite. I feel like MSF is very cliquish especially on the bipolar check in thread. I often don’t feel supported or like I’m being heard. It’s annoying because it used to be a great site for me. I noticed when I left for a month the bipolar thread was going really slow. And only one person asked where I was the entire month. Other people looked at my account to be nosy and I could tell they didn’t care where I was. Usually they get through a check in thread in a couple weeks but it took a lot longer for them to get through one when I was gone. So I post on there a lot but I rarely ever get any feedback.

Also making new threads in the therapy section is kind of useless now for me since people on there think I’m doing stuff on purpose because I “like it” when sometimes mental health providers just really suck.

You are an active member for a long time here, and I like how you sometimes start posts about social chat topics. . You post interesting questions that get all kinds of varying responses from people.

Somebody hurt my feelings today on another site. They said they had a bug in their house that jumped very high and described it, and said they were in search of an entomologist. I said i found a similar bug in my house last week and its leap surprised me, and that i thought it might be a baby cockroach. Well i guess that insinuation insulted them because they said theirs didnt leap. So i googled the definition of leap. Im not usually wrong when i use a word. I wrote back and said they could also use an etymologist.

And i wonder why i dont have any friends.

But oh i could not resist. The joke was right there in your face. And really, do not nitpick my vocabulary. Esp when i was the only person responding to your bug post. But i hope i dont get blocked there. I cant decide if i was mean or she was.

How sad. I'm so sorry about this! I guess even here there are hurtful people. But I honestly think they are in the minority in these forums. I sure hope so. Hugs & love to you!

I wondered where you were when you were gone and hoped you were ok.

It sounds like you really bugged her! (I had to look up your big, fancy words to get the joke )

Maybe it will go over her head.

LOL. I dont know WHERE my bug flew! It was a middle of the night bathroom visit, and i was not in the mood to look for it!

You really are good with words! Was talking about your joke!

Yeah in the middle of the night I would not be in the mood to look for a bug / roommate, either.


Did you ever see the meme about the spider who thinks its just your roommate?

Edit: I imagined the person you were describing as a "she" for some reason but I now see you said "they" / "this person." Oops m'bad.

I’m ignored on the bipolar forum too , I’m guessing because I said I’m no longer on medication, with my psychiatrists approval, and maybe also that I work full time, I don’t know.

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Thanks. Oh no, it was a she! I didnt use "she" until the last line of my post! I was around when they first started saying chairperson, and airline attendant (instead of "stewardess" - i bet Gen Z doesnt even know that one), so i may have adopted they/them whether the person wants to use them or not. Thats interesting. Hmm.

I have enjoyed both of your posts and am glad to know you.

When I first came to PC in 2016, I replied to a lot of posts and feel proud of responding (I took more time to post) but there have been other things I need and want to do and there is only so much time in the day. And I saw a cock roach this morning , so cleaning is one of them and I am sure I don't get many of Unaluna's jokes but always appreciate when people try to lift the mood of a thread with humor because some of us need cheering up.

Thanks. It’s just some of the support on the other specific threads are not as great as on the general social thread. But I know it’s also me as well. I can be pretty *****y at times.

It just seems to be a few members who respond to each other’s post but don’t really pay much attention to anyone else. But I’ve gotten into it a few times with a couple members who have now blocked me. But I get upset in the first place because of the lack of support and feedback I get on that thread. I know it’s my fault too with how I manage my meds. I have to remind myself that the members on MSF are not mental health providers but just random people on the internet and I shouldn’t be seeking legit advice from anyone.

Not random and not mental health providers.

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I agree with all of you. I've been here for a short time and I'm from another part of the world, but it makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore. I stopped talking to my friends about my concerns, because it just makes me feel worse. I love them but they don't understand me. Facebook, on the other hand, makes me feel angry because of all the ridiculous things happening in my country. I find comfort in reading and posting here.

I kinda feel like an old guy whose had a ham radio set since he was a kid, only the ham radio is psychology. So - not random, and not a provider, but ive spent a lot of time on this signal.

Thanks for this post, I have found similar here

Yes, in addition to others making helpful comments regarding health improvement, the feeling of friendship is healing as well.

Better late than ever in replying to this post ( I just found it)
Studies prove that platforms like FB cause people to become
Depressed. It is the comparing oneself to others that leads to feelings of inadequacy. The best way to be happy is having actual positive experiences where you create memories.

I don’t understand the need for people to constantly narrate their lives. It’s a little silly and egocentric.

Please pardon my jarring interruption, but my sister is trans. I’m helping a trans friends. . Please Feel free to reach out if you are so inclined.

@cinnamonstick Thank you so much for your gracious offer. (By the way, I was born in Cleveland although my parents moved us back east when I was still only 5 or 6. So I don't really remember much about it except that I once puked in a neighbor's driveway and I fell from the first floor of a home under construction in the neighborhood down into the unfinished basement.)

With regard to my gender identity issues, there's not much to say. As far back as I can remember I always secretly longed to be female. But I was "assigned male at birth", as the euphemism goes nowadays, and I've always struggled to live as male a life as I could manage. (Sadly, I mostly made a train wreak of it.) And now, at my advanced age, there's really nothing to be done about any of it. So it all just is what it is... or was what it was... as the case may be. There's really just not much more to say... which is, at least in part, why I so seldom post my own threads here on MSF; to bring this reply back around toward the original topic of the thread. But I do appreciate your kind offer.

My sister (assigned male at birth) confided in me several years ago her tribulations growing up. It really made me think and helped make sense of her behavioral changes . She went down a path of self destruction, which I understand the reasons now. She was clean for a while but stuck in a constant loop of negative self talk. She basically drinks all of the time now and refuses to get help or go on an antidepressant. I tried everything I could think of to lift her spirits but she just disappeared. It hurts my heart because I feel helpless. She’s pretty anti social and hates electronic communication. She is brilliant and knows so much about so many topics. It’s been a year since I’ve heard from her. I miss her. We live far apart. She still goes to work. I just don’t understand why I was shut out.

Do you ever want to push people away.?
Have you always been reclusive? I remember we chatted a couple of years ago and I think I tried to convince you to go out.

Where in Cleveland where you born?

The new trans friend I was helping has stopped communicating. I’m worried about her, but I don’t know if she wants space or if something happened. She actually lives in her car and I can’t locate her. I was looking for information for her. She’s a smart woman that has fallen on bad/hard times It’s so odd , I’ve always been one to reach out;, but know I’m wondering if I’m being sent a message to put my good intentions on pause.
Thoughts oh wise one.?

Well... I guess every trans person's experience is different. So I can only speak for myself. But my personal perspective is that, at least it used to be the case, being transgender forced a person to become skilled at being secretive as well as aloof. Plus there's a lot of depression and anxiety that tends to go along with it as you no doubt realize. (Hopefully this is changing now with the new openness that is developing around issues related to gender identity.)

In my case, over the years, I have pushed everyone away except my wife. And I even keep her pretty-much at arm's length so to speak most of the time. (It's complicated.) I feel lonely a lot which I suppose is at least part of the reason I spend so much time here on MSF. But, at the same time, I feel an overwhelming need to keep myself as far away from people in general as possible in real life.

So I think I can understand what you wrote about both your sister as well as your friend. (I've often thought that, were it not for my wife, I would likely have become a homeless drunk.) Personally I doubt there's much you can do about either of the situations you describe other than to continue to be available should either of them reach out to you at some point. At least in my own case, the secretiveness and loneliness I feel has become so ingrained into my psyche that it's largely beyond my control at this point I believe. It has become who I am.

(I'm not sure where in Cleveland my parents were living when I was born. The name Parma sticks in my head. At the time my parents lived there (the late 1940's) the area they were in was a new development I guess which is why I was able to fall into the basement of a new home that was under construction.)