[Gennie1981]

Hi, I'm new here and I know I'm probably going to come off weird. But here goes. I kicked my husband out and filed for divorce after 18 yrs of marriage. He never put me first or the kids. I always had to take care of everything. All I ever wanted from him was for him to love me and he couldn't. Now mind you I did a lot wrong but mostly it was because I stopped caring about myself. He let his family put me down. When we got behind on rent one of his good friends offered to give me the $$$ for a sex act. I told him about it and he said do what you want. At this point if he could say that I didnt care so I did it. He kept taking money off from ppl and wouldn't pay it back and they'd come to me to take care of it. Finally he stopped showering and only played video games. He would come to bed at like 3am and it just spiraled from there. Now that I've kicked him out hes gotten a job, showers regularly and has a new gf. We've been apart a little over a month. Why cant I just unlove him why do I keep crying over him. I feel like I'm being tore apart.

[ThunderGoddess]

We're probably all a little weird here but in a good way. I'm sorry you're going through all of this I think anyone in your situation would feel the same way, it sucks there isn't a switch to just turn off the love for someone but it just takes time. Try to take this time to focus on what makes you happy (hobbies, music, self-soothing distractions) and try to take your focus off of him whenever you are able to. There are some good threads here to distract and just general chat with others here helps to keep your mind busy.

Once I used this app called Mend which was super helpful when I was trying to get my mind off of someone and it's a free app.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry things are being so hard also! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the wise and wonderful Thunder about focusing on yourself for a bit perhaps. Feelings may not go away for a bit but at the very least do something nice. M. i Hope things will improve really soon for everyone. Be kind. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Gennie1981, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by Gennie1981

Hi, I'm new here and I know I'm probably going to come off weird. But here goes. I kicked my husband out and filed for divorce after 18 yrs of marriage. He never put me first or the kids. I always had to take care of everything. All I ever wanted from him was for him to love me and he couldn't. Now mind you I did a lot wrong but mostly it was because I stopped caring about myself. He let his family put me down. When we got behind on rent one of his good friends offered to give me the $$$ for a sex act. I told him about it and he said do what you want. At this point if he could say that I didnt care so I did it. He kept taking money off from ppl and wouldn't pay it back and they'd come to me to take care of it. Finally he stopped showering and only played video games. He would come to bed at like 3am and it just spiraled from there. Now that I've kicked him out hes gotten a job, showers regularly and has a new gf. We've been apart a little over a month. Why cant I just unlove him why do I keep crying over him. I feel like I'm being tore apart.

Just so I understand... your husband said he didnt care if you performed a sex act for money from his friend and then also continuing to provide sexual acts for money? I dont meant to seem rude but that is not ok. Or when you said "people came to you to take care of it" did you mean you would pay back borrowed money? Either way the first act you performed, did you tell him afterwards that you did that?

[divine1966]

So you were behind on rent and had to do what you had to do to manage, did your husband not contribute financially? He’d borrow money and not pay back and you had to deal with it. It sounds like he is a horrible useless partner.

Who cares if he showers or got a girlfriend. He sounds like bad news all around. Make sure you file for child support. Please be safe in regards to doing things for money. It’s dangerous. Protect your health.

You might need to go on government assistance to keep yourself and kids afloat. Be safe and good riddance to this dude