My father is in the hospital

I'm sorry for your God's illness and suffering--and for what you're going through as a result.

Thank you all.

I think I may be a bit traumatized. I've never seen someone die before. I held his hand as he went, and I won't get graphic, but it was disturbing to see.

My mom is glad I was with her in the hospital today. She said she could not have been there alone. I am glad I could be there for her.

That sounds very very hard.

I'm so sorry.

((((((((Have Hope))))))))

It was.

Thank you.

Oh no, I'm so sorry for the loss of your father.

My mom died similarly, but it a nursing home and she was the first person whose death I witnessed. I was.....disturbed...for a long time after. I think it took about a year for that image to go away. Be patient with yourself, it will go and it'll be replaced with more pleasant memories.

Thank you so very much.

The image is sharp in my mind..... ouch. Hard hard hard. I imagine it will take me a long time to recover from that alone.

I can’t believe he’s gone. Just three weeks ago we were all together with him at a bbq. A week later, he’s in ER, and two weeks later, he died. It was all so fast. He was diagnosed only 8 months ago, but he’s had this disease go undetected for several years. When he was first diagnosed the doctor said it’s not a death sentence - but it actually was. He only survived hardly 8 more months.

My sadness is deep. I put a picture of he and I on my bedside table. Now I’m truly feeling the pain of the loss.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you, dearest @Bill3.

Have Hope I'm so sorry about your Dad. Even when it's expected it can still feel a tremendous shock. Allow yourself time and space to grieve and to feel whatever you need to feel.
Thinking of you, take care.


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@East17, thanks so much.... yes, it is a huge shock. I am feeling that and the grief.

I have been thinking of you, HH, and was hoping for the best, maybe a miracle for you. I see now that your father is gone and you are grieving. ((((bigggg understanding hugggg))))

It hurts so much now, I know. We really understand. But believe me, the pain will slowly lessen, and better memories will come through for you, and you will be able to move on from this to a new kind of relationship with your Dad, and everything that went before.

Better days will come along.

You've been so good, and so brave. I hope you will take some time to take care of yourself, now, too.

Only good wishes, MG

Thank you SO MUCH @MuseumGhost, for your comforting and kind words and for the hugs.

I wake up each morning thinking, wow, he's really gone. I think a part of me is still in disbelief. It just happened so fast.

There are many positive and fond memories of my dad that I will hold onto.

It's taking me some time to process all of this. It was like a whirlwind from the time he became hospitalized, to the day and hour he passed away. He went downhill SO quickly. At least he is not suffering anymore, which is what I keep thinking.

Yes, I understand how that feels.

It does feel very un-real for the first little while. I remember so many days where I remember thinking over breakfast, "I've got to give Dad a call and see if he's free for coffee", which was a standing invitation with him. Then I would realize, he's not there, he won't be there...which would usually end in tears for me.

His medical decline also happened rapidly. And to make it worse, I was not given the information that he had even been admitted for care until he was about halfway through his ordeal. That's because he had been living with a woman who was not very welcoming to his adult children (my mom had passed years before). She could be downright miserable, and was also a control freak, at least as far as we were concerned. She had very strange ideas about what kind of rights we had and didn't have. So that really complicated things for me. Getting straight information from her was nearly impossible. Getting compassion from her was simply not an option. All of this made losing him a gigantic struggle for me.

There were other family issues which precluded my receiving any assistance or comfort from my brother and sister. It was such an incredibly difficult time. That is how I know what it means to have the company of trusted family members to help one another through this. I had to sail those waters alone with only my husband for sympathy. And although he is a very good human being, he is not terribly affectionate, or emotionally available.

And a note: IF you feel as though you are not moving through the grief process in a normal kind of pattern (if it takes longer than several weeks, or a month or two) to once again feel as though you're going to be okay with everything, I can suggest grief counselling. I went to sessions with my mother-in-law when husband's Dad passed away, and it helped her a great deal. It even helped me approach some powerful leftover emotions I'd been keeping bottled up since my own mother died, long ago.

This is definitely one of the hardest things we have to go through as loving, caring individuals.

You have my complete sympathy...and you can always feel free, I'm sure, to contact any one of us here who understand where you're at, so well.

I have a feeling your Dad wouldn't want you staying in that lonely place of sorrow for too long.

Thanks so much, very sweet of you.

And wow - that does sound most difficult and most I painful. I am so sorry you had to go through that, and mostly alone.

In my family, we do have each other. I just spent a part of today with my mom, and I talk to my sister frequently. We're all supporting one another, which helps tremendously. And I have therapy Tue night, which should help as well.