How can I control my emotions?

I feel like I often have very little control over my emotions at times. Especially when I get triggered or provoked by someone. Especially my husband. My sister said that I’m to reactive & to sensitive. I’m an HSP btw & I think I have borderline personality disorder.

I’m seeing a student therapist on zoom & so far nothing seems to work. I forgot what she even taught me. It’s like I have a knee jerk reaction to certain people & situations. I was bullied from age 11 up to now. These days only my husband bullies me.

I was bullied by peers, former friends, some coworkers & supervisors as well as my parents my sister too.

I’d appreciate any advice. I’m on Cymbalta & an anti anxiety med that doesn’t seem to work that well.

I can't offer any specific advice as I'm not in the same boat as you are.
The only thing I found ever worked for me, is when I do end up triggered, I'd force myself to physically freeze for literally a minute. I'd then think about what had happened and why. I appreciate this is not a thing that is do-able by everyone and I am fortunate to have that ability.
The way I got to that is emotions are the reaction to something, not the thing itself, and I'd rationalise my way out of it and then deal with the cause rather than the effect... Again I'm aware this may not be do-able for you.
I hope you find something soon that works for you.

Many people here say they’ve had good success with DBT, have you tried that with your therapist? I know there’s free resources online if you search.

I’d have to second the DBT

An 11 year old doesn’t have skills nor does he/she understand bullying. Because of this they try not to show their feelings and they also begin to think they are being bullied because something really is wrong with them. What they don’t understand is the failure and real person that has low self esteem and problems is the

You need to learn it’s ok to have feelings. You are not weak if you have feelings. DBT therapy helps people figure out what emotions mean so those who struggle get better at understanding their different emotions and develop better ways of dealing with the different things that can trigger these uncomfortable emotions.

Thanks. You’re right, not everyone can do that. For me, my reactions to certain things are hard to control.

Thanks, I don’t remember if I tried DBT or not. I’ll ask her about that.

Thanks, I think that some people think it’s weak to show to much emotion. I grew up with parents who were & still are unable to control their emotions at home but they usually expressed discomfort & annoyance at seeing me express mine.

My dad would yell at me to stop crying as a kid when I was upset, ugh! Or stop being so sensitive. My mom was like, don’t worry, but she worried about things all the time.