How are you coping today? #7

I can identify with parts the above post.Today, though, was a cry day for me. I cried and cried. And I slept.

I don't like to glorify the past

I am aware it is non-sense to talk like this, it is just that I lost control and a serious of bad events happened globale

I personally can only re-think my actions
Because I have not been a saint. At all

I started to think I was punished by karma or something

I don't want to see my older sister anymore. She was so worse than me, and childish beyond the line
I used to protect her and she didn't even realize
She never helped me with my unemployment condition. And despite being labelled like trash i am aware that just few years ago i used to be a working person who also help others
She did the minimum and never cared for any ethical issue. And i cant blame depression cause she finds plenty of time for malicious hobbys

I dont want to talk like this, but I lost completely control in 2017. My fault

I’m feeling strong and resilient. 5 weeks with no emotional dysregulation and counting…

I got my laundry done. The basket was overflowing and the top wouldn't close. It was so stressful to look at but some days I was too tired and other days my 4 month old niece was over. My therapist and I call her the angry cat. I had a dream one time during a 2 hour nap about an angry cat and when I woke up I found out my niece had been screaming that whole time. She will cry at almost anything and will sometimes cry all day once she gets started.

But anyways, she wasnt here today and so I finally got the 4 loads of laundry done so I feel less stressed about that issue at least.

I decided to quit online dating for good and just to do this the old fashioned way - meet someone and develop a sense of knowing them even before the dating. I will have to keep in mind that it could be a long time but heck, I may find myself along the way. Something like Jim and Pam in The Office.

He managed to antagonize me to tears last night. I am proud of myself that I didn’t go on an angry rant like in the past, knowing there’s no point anyway, he doesn’t hear me. What really got me was when he gaslit me over something that just made my head explode. One part of our struggle is how he is compelled to do what I call a “do over”. This is part of the pattern that he has done countless times, and we have fought over it. Last night, he did it. When I called him out on it, he acted like it was the first time he ever heard of it. Unbelievably gaslighting! So that prompted tears for me. It’s quite a trigger to feel that destabilized.

I feel like it is a huge effort that I need to make to start my day and do something good with it. I need to individuate from him. I don’t want to face another day of this with him.

I watched a movie today.

Thank you, @Mountaindewed, for sharing this. Your dream-maker (inside your brain?) is very clever. Such a cute account. And good for you, getting your laundry done.

Reading posts, & trying to plan a doable day.

I'm having trouble coping today. I think I'll try to take a nap.

Just don’t over do yourself with too much.

I watch a few movies and some self help videos and journaling my feelings.

Hang in there

Coping well and keeping things very simple having just been through a very difficult and also a very positive six weeks in terms of building some valued relationships. I feel like I've grown a little bit.

Good for you, mote.of.soul!

Things have been frustrating and I've felt the same as normal but I'm doing better now. I accidentally spilled an entire bottle of water this afternoon that leaked all the way through the mattress pad and onto some of my pillows and a blanket. I think I got it fixed though. Those Walmart bottles are so flimsy I've spilled a few of them.

I've been coping pretty good today.

Coping by trying to stay grounded. I’ll try to do a CoDA meeting. I will try to do something good for myself today. The stress of bad relationship with husband and mother struggle over her health and demanding money from us is looming. Lots to cope with.

By reading very immature but funny comments on Facebook about a video with the lady who has the worlds longest finger nails. The comments gave me a good laugh. I mean, wouldn't you wonder too about certain things?

I think being able to laugh during hard times is good for us.

I’m trying to keep from taking my niece boyfriend comment not so personally.

I'm doing fine mental health wise. I ran out of zofran a couple days ago and I can't get it refilled until the 17th. I also ran out of my stomach med and my gastro doctor won't refill it. I'm guessing its because I wen't through a 3 month supply and am still having symptoms so he wants to see me again. I'm worried he'll want to do an endoscopy so I'm trying just to go without it. I am using OTC pepto bismol capsules and mint pepcid right now until I can get my zofran refilled and they both somewhat work.

This day I have coped by reading articles within here, & from the internet.

I did my best today. I don't really feel good right now. I called in my zofran and of course it was denied. I'm willing to tell on myself that I took extras just so my doctor will refill it early. Now I'm also out of pepto bismol capsules. I'll see if I have any regular pepto bismol. But yeah I really just need the zofran.