Life Continues

So, I found a new job… Still in pharmacy, because I don’t feel ready to make the leap yet into illustration, but at least it’s closed-door, meaning AWAY from customers. So yay to that! We are absolutely slammed with work and it’s been very stressful, but that’s how it is all over in pharmacies these days. It’s been rough I’m times— two days ago I left work in tears. I was going to put in overtime this week, but I decided not to because I desperately need some R&R. However, the people are great and it seems like a good company, so there’s that.

I’m taking an illustration class online, and my experience has been mixed. I think if i weren’t grappling with a new job, it would be easier. But it is what it is. The professor is very good and the coursework is interesting and definitely will be useful; I just don’t feel like I’m doing very well. I got a B in my last assignment and I was pretty bummed about it. I still have an A overall, but it’s a low A. Not good enough.

I’m still having issues with my eating patterns— basically, I don’t eat lunch during the day, either besides I’m not hungry or because when I do, I feel very sluggish after. The problem is, when I get off work at the end of the day, I’m absolutely starving and I inhale a **** ton of food. No good. That and being tired have added to my stress. My parents are frustrating me a bit too— I don’t live with them (thank goodness), but I talk to them a lot. My mom is very supportive and sweet, but she’s also an emotional basketcase, and she uses me as a dumping ground for her feelings because she can’t do that with my dad. Usually I don’t mind, but a) I’m dealing with all this right now, and b) I’ve told her the same thing over and over, and now she needs to decide to take action to improve her situation. Until she does that, there’s no point in me repeating myself. My dad is just obnoxious— he’s a snob and an egotist and refuses to see anyone else’s point of view. Furthermore, he seems to be in complete denial about his flaws; I’ve always thought that if I described a man who acts exactly like he does, he would blink and say, “What an asshole,” never once connecting the dots that it’s him I’m describing. Yuck.

Other than that, I’m happy Fall is starting. Fondly… been hot as holy **** here lol. Bring on the cold weather!!!

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@indigo1015 Congrats on holding down a job in a pharmacy. I see what those people on the other side of the counter put up with and it is challening, but itsounds like you are holding down a job very well and preparing for a job that uses your other talents in the near future. Way to go.

I have had that problem feeling sluggish after lunch and so I had the impulse to skip meals but when I do not only do I feel anxious but also my brain is not focusing well. So I came up with a solution that works for me. Have protein like a boiled egg or a piece of sauteed seasoned tofu or a plain yogurt. This gives me energy and helps my brain work, is fast to eat and I do not get that sluggish feeling when I eat a bunch of carbs.

@CANDC

Thank you CANDC-- I've worked in pharmacy for over eight years now... there's only so many times I can take being verbally abused and cussed out by customers.

@indigo1015 oh no that is terrible. Hope you can find a way not to take it to heart. You suffer while they are there and they suffer by going around all day long being angry. What a sad situation.

Thank you so much for your heartwarming update!

It made me so happy to hear that you found a better job situation and are working on illustration!

@indigo1015 how are things going with your new job?

Hi CANDC… a few weeks ago, I would’ve said they were going great; now I’m not so sure. Last Friday, the pharmacist-in-charge called me into her office, because apparently a bunch of the other techs have come to her and told her i have BO. I was stunned; I’d had no idea. So last weekend I bought new shoes; now i shower daily and apply clinician-level deodorant twice a day (once in the morning, and again during lunch). Even so, something feels off. I don’t think the lead tech likes me. I have no evidence of this, but i definitely get that feeling. I feel like i don’t fit in with the group, and it is very stressful there. We’re slammed like every other pharmacy. I don’t know… I thought that finding a different pharmacy setting would make everything better. It hasn’t so far. I’m really frustrated regarding my art career… I’ve been posting my art on websites and making new art, but no one’s shown any interest. I feel like shaking people and yelling, “BUY MY ART, DAMNIT!” in their faces. I hate my life right now— I’m burnt out and stressed and I feel really hopeless.

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