[Gasplessy]

It is so annoying and uncomfortable to write this thread but I am looking for a little push

Ive been (not) living a hell of a live for years and I started having hoarding issues

I need to do a deep clean of the house, myself (can't call any cleaning company), starting by emptying drawers and declutter, then cleaning
If i complete all these, i will be able then to call some technicians to fix a couple of problems

Is anyone facing difficulties completing tasks?

P.s.: please excuse my english, not a native and still learning

[Kahapati]

Hi Gasplessy,

Not sure if this helps.. if not just toss to the side!

Maybe breaking things down to small tasks? One day it’s: Cleaning drawyers.. then pause, doing something nice and pampering myself . Then the next day you do 30-45 mins of the same thing or something else with music or sorrounding myself with a good smell. Again, I know how weird that sounds, but good smell kinda distracts me from my intrusive thoughts or fatigue. This is something my therapist suggested..

Then again pause..

It’s about pacing and finding your own rhythm?!

Hope you find some good strategies to get through!

[Discombobulated]

I do better when I start small. Maybe target one area, a corner of a room or a chest of drawers.

The problem is when it feels overwhelming. The solution is to prioritise.

What needs doing first?

[unaluna]

My helpful hint is to be able to start right after breakfast. Dont have things you have to do first, like take a shower, or exercise. Alternate days you do those things.

[Gasplessy]

Thank you very much for your messages and tips

Yes i gotta start small and in the morning, i guess it motivates me to see a finished room, problem is there is always something else to do
For example i could clean the kitchen but it will still look kinda bad since the furniture has been damaged through the years (and I cant buy a new one now), or there are some kitchen device broken and got to take it to waste point

By the way, thank you so much. The overwhelming feeling is taking me down more than usual

[Gasplessy]

These are moments when I wish I was american and living in a single house
Cause a major difficoly is being seen by my neighbours while cleaning (i live in a complex and don't have any drier, so I got to hang clean clothes on a balcony that is exposed to the traffic)
If I lived alone i would have prolly solved already

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Gasplessy

These are moments when I wish I was american and living in a single house
Cause a major difficoly is being seen by my neighbours while cleaning (i live in a complex and don't have any drier, so I got to hang clean clothes on a balcony that is exposed to the traffic)
If I lived alone i would have prolly solved already

Many Americans don’t live in single stand alone houses either. Many live in apartment complexes or town homes or other types of arrangements etc too. If you live in expensive cities, you can’t afford single house anyways.

Can you use a laundromat? Some people here don’t have washers and dryers either and go to laundromats.

[Gasplessy]

Thanks. Yes i do have a laundry machine, and i am washing a lot of clothes in order to save some and give them to charity
I can handle only few clothes and max 2/3 pair of shoes, i lost myself when I have too many objects around

I live in a medium size city in Europe, my balcony faces the street and sometimes i feel uncomfortable exposing myself out when hanging the clothes to let them dry
My neighborhood has some criminality score too (not too problematic, but not too safe either)

By the way, thanks again to everyone who answered

I feel a bit empty due to having been for a long time and honestly it is more about "fixing little thing" than having some hope and better outlook

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Gasplessy

Thanks. Yes i do have a laundry machine, and i am washing a lot of clothes in order to save some and give them to charity
I can handle only few clothes and max 2/3 pair of shoes, i lost myself when I have too many objects around

I live in a medium size city in Europe, my balcony faces the street and sometimes i feel uncomfortable exposing myself out when hanging the clothes to let them dry
My neighborhood has some criminality score too (not too problematic, but not too safe either)

By the way, thanks again to everyone who answered

I feel a bit empty due to having been for a long time and honestly it is more about "fixing little thing" than having some hope and better outlook

Could you have some type of arrangement for drying clothes inside? I don’t dry delicate clothing in a dryer, I hang them up to dry inside on a foldable drying rack

[Kahapati]

@Gasplessy

I get you.. I’ve been struggling during the last few days to get things done due to feeling exhausted. I really hate that feeling of having low energy..

I played some dance songs, ate some protein and cleaned the kitchen..

But it costs a lot of energy too!

Lots of support your way

[Gasplessy]

Originally Posted by Kahapati

@Gasplessy

I get you.. I’ve been struggling during the last few days to get things done due to feeling exhausted. I really hate that feeling of having low energy...

I wish you to feel a bit better... seems you found a way to incourage yourself through music and protein snack. That's great, i am also trying to start small bit for some reason i feel discouraged

[Gasplessy]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Could you have some type of arrangement for drying clothes inside? I don’t dry delicate clothing in a dryer, I hang them up to dry inside on a foldable drying rack

Yes but it is a lot of clothes, i will find a way to manage hopefully
Thank you so much for you message

[Gasplessy]

I notice i am not really lazy, i do things, i like to clean and fix
It is the actually the social part: being seen by neighbours, plus the anxiety i sense when running late
These are not excuses
I am slow but steady, can be a practical person, like to fix things

When alone, i work. But living in a problematic and curious neighborhood brings me down. They do spy as a hobby

Sorry but I have no more place to vent except internet. Thanks again for the replies

[unaluna]

Omg i have the exact same fears. My mother was always rushing me. It became a constant, unconscious thing for me. To take a shower meant to rush. To catch a bus meant to rush. To drive anywhere meant to rush. To clean house meant to rush. To meet with friends meant to rush.

I have been living a very weird life. I had to stop rushing. Finally I stopped therapy, as that too meant to rush.

I understand about being seen. My parents refused to have a trash basket in the bathroom, so i had to bring used personal products back to my bedroom, then once a week, before trash day, parade thru the living room to take my personal overflowing trash to the basement. It feels like i am reliving that every time i take the trash out of my apartment. Even though i am 20 years into menopause.

Every time i felt good or proud of myself, my mother would knock it out of me. I remember her saying she didnt want me to get a big head, as then no one would like me. So any sense of accomplishment would be knocked back to the stone age and i would have to start to build myself up all over again. I guess that made me easier to handle. I hate my family so much for doing that to me.

[Discombobulated]

Originally Posted by Gasplessy

I notice i am not really lazy, i do things, i like to clean and fix
It is the actually the social part: being seen by neighbours, plus the anxiety i sense when running late
These are not excuses
I am slow but steady, can be a practical person, like to fix things

When alone, i work. But living in a problematic and curious neighborhood brings me down. They do spy as a hobby

Sorry but I have no more place to vent except internet. Thanks again for the replies

That’s a good insight, I admire how you’ve stood back and looked at the whole situation to recognise what those stumbling blocks are. I too am a private person, I would also feel uncomfortable with feeling on display. Do you have good privacy screening with curtains/blinds?

[Discombobulated]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Omg i have the exact same fears. My mother was always rushing me. It became a constant, unconscious thing for me. To take a shower meant to rush. To catch a bus meant to rush. To drive anywhere meant to rush. To clean house meant to rush. To meet with friends meant to rush.

I have been living a very weird life. I had to stop rushing. Finally I stopped therapy, as that too meant to rush.

I understand about being seen. My parents refused to have a trash basket in the bathroom, so i had to bring used personal products back to my bedroom, then once a week, before trash day, parade thru the living room to take my personal overflowing trash to the basement. It feels like i am reliving that every time i take the trash out of my apartment. Even though i am 20 years into menopause.

Every time i felt good or proud of myself, my mother would knock it out of me. I remember her saying she didnt want me to get a big head, as then no one would like me. So any sense of accomplishment would be knocked back to the stone age and i would have to start to build myself up all over again. I guess that made me easier to handle. I hate my family so much for doing that to me.

(((Unaluna)))

[Gasplessy]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

That’s a good insight, I admire how you’ve stood back and looked at the whole situation to recognise what those stumbling blocks are. I too am a private person, I would also feel uncomfortable with feeling on display. Do you have good privacy screening with curtains/blinds?

Thank you @Discombobulated

I have venetian blinds on the balcony but not using lately since the weather is so windy they could break
However i have some strategies, like going out early in the morning when a lot of people still sleep. I also make sure i am dressed in a "safe" way. I wear long gym pants and a hoodie or t-shirt
Sad, but I would feel uncomfortable in shorts or a minidress
My neighborhood doesnt make me feel safe. I almost prefer to walk late night in a big city

[Gasplessy]

I lost almost ten years of life and i am sorry if i have been paranoid but it is so hard
Already i have little energies, plus the snakes (referred to people) in the neighborhood
I cant

[Embracingtruth]

Throw on some headphones to your favorite tunes and pick a pile! Every song will produce results.