Trying to clean my house

I have a week off work this week (I work nearly a full week for one, and only a day the next so I took that day off), and I really want to get my house thoroughly clean.
I have a bit of a problem when it comes to maintaining my house in that I struggle to get out of bed when I don't have a real reason to do so, such as work or an appointment, so my house- for the 9 years I've lived in it- has barely been presentable, except when I have an inspection every 3 months or the very rare occasion that there is the plan for someone to come over. Nobody can come in my house because of the condition it's in.
When I say to people it's a mess the usual response is that it doesn't matter, they don't mind. I really don't think people understand what I mean when I say mess. I'm not talking clothes on the floor and a bit of rubbish. It's very embarrassing to admit. I know there will be someone here who understands my situation though. I don't like to live that way, but finding the ability to do something about it can be virtuall impossible.
Every day off I have I think 'this time I'll do something', and I don't. I really want to try and get it clean this week, but I know even if I do manage it won't stay that way, it will end up back at square one.

It's not that I don't like cleaning, I actually do, I get really excited at the idea of buying new cleaning products, and when I do actually start getting into the cleaning I get really tedious and try to get everything perfect. And I love my house being clean, I feel so much happier. But it's so hard to really achieve, it's so bad that it takes a very long time, and it's far too bad to allow anyone in to help me.

Maybe you could try just working on one room to start with. Rather than look at it as one big job ahead of you. If you get one room tidy, then it's a start that may inspire you to move onto another room another day. Whatever you do though, don't move the mess from one room to another room. Find the right place for each thing, so it doesn't become a part of the next rooms clean up. Small steps, one at a time. Good luck with it.

I like to break it down room by room too. When I am working on "clutter" I get 3 boxes labeled: keep, donate, and throw away. After I have it broken down into the 3 categories - I find the keep box much more manageable than "everything".

I have also found a good way to minimize my storage items...things that I am not sure if I should keep or not that I know will wind up in the never-ending storage pile...(like cords, cables, all the things that my boys have accumulated but haven't made it to their "save" boxes) I clearly label the box and put an expiration date on it. So like cables that I'm not sure what they belong to I will label computer/video game cables and date it 6 months from the current date....anything still in the box after the "expiration" date gets thrown away.

There is a really good show on HGTV (I only have antenna TV, so only catch the reruns) called "NEAT" and I learned A LOT about downsizing and minimizing.

Cleaning really can be cathartic....and there is nothing like a clean house to feel like I've accomplished something....too bad it's a somewhat rare occurrence at my house

BTW - I do understand...completely! I find it hard to get motivated and always think - oh I will get to that....

Its hard when you feel stuck. Sometimes it is a case of "just do it". Break the tasks down. Maybe you you can find some money to get the cleaner in to do the floors and bathroom each week.

I do tasks until I feel tired and then rest. Then when my back is okay again again I pick another small task. I cleaned my shower last week over three separate times. The job did get done.

"and it's far too bad to allow anyone in to help me" Is a part inside that is telling you that it has gone too far. Please help yourself by getting help.

I agree. Just do a bit at a time. Dust the living room. Rest. Or just dust the tables in the living room and rest. Whatever works.

You should join some of the cleaning/declutter threads in the Self Help/Goal Setting part of the forum!

My house is also too messy to let anyone in, even people who want to help. The only people I let over are ones who I know are just as messy as me. I find that the problem with cleaning is that it is not just a do it once and you are done kind of thing - you have to keep up with it every day or it just descends back into chaos -- and once it is in chaos, it's very difficult to find motivation to do anything about it.

I find setting a timer helps a lot. I like knowing that it only takes 7 minutes to do a load of dishes. I also set a timer to pick up 100 things in five minutes -- it's nearly impossible to do, but you can get a lot done in five minutes when you're running!

I definitely tend to try and tackle one room at a time, I get so thorough that I think I just get sick of it and give up. I clean so infrequently that I want the room to be glistening.
I do listen to music, or lately, an online ghost radio show, and I always break it down to one thing at a time (i.e. rubbish first, pik up all clothes second, etc.).
I didn't know there were cleaning threads on here, I might look into it.
I have however managed to get my bathroom clean since yesterday. *beats chest*
I guess that's something.

You need to do things gradually and not focus on getting it perfect but 'tidier' at first - if you have a lot on the floor for example, make it a goal for that one day to just get the floors looking more spacious. What about selling some stuff too? That might give you a good incentive to sort stuff out - according to eBay people have up to a grands worth of stuff in their house which they could resell. I've sold a lot of stuff recently and it feels great, I've cut some painful emotional ties and it really feels like I've moved on. Just keep focused on the tasks at hand rather than worrying about the end result, it always feel
overwhelming when you think about the bigger picture. All the best.

Try a site called flylady.com

It deals with this exact problem in a "baby step" sort of way. The simple system will allow you to keep your house presentable at all times. My house is now very clean and neat without a whole lot of effort.

Since moving out into this supported housing gig, I've managed to do a great job of keeping it pretty clean and tidy, all things considered. (like having a messy flat mate) Before hand, I wasn't the tidiest person, nor the cleanest, but there were times I did stuff... like, even my mess was organised, I think. xD

Anywho, I manage it because, and I know this will sound obvious, but I basically clean up straight after I do something. If I spill something, I clean it there and then. If I use a plate, I take it into the kitchen, wash it, and put it away as soon as I can. This sort of habit is a nice routine and makes those other moments, like cleaning the toilet, bathroom sink, kitchen worktops, taking out the bins, etc, a bit easier to manage. I also find my other routines, such as working out every night, to be very helpful. Dunno if any of that is of any use to you, but that's my experience.

As for your current, specific situation, I'd suggest you start somewhere... little bit by little bit. As long as you're sorting more mess than you're making, you'll eventually get somewhere. :P

Getting in someone to help out would be great, and probably help prevent you letting things slide in the future. I'd help out if I were remotely near you, but I'm very likely not. xD

If you're in the UK, I believe there are people that can help, organisations and stuff, if your mental health issues are really affecting your ability to sort these things out. There may be similar options in other parts of the world, but I'm unfamiliar with those.

I guess I'm lucky, although depression screws me up, I tend to only get so bad before I go "That's enough! Must clean!" lol.

Best of luck.

just hang in there

Hey Evening.

Totally understand how dreadfully overwhelming the prospect of getting everything in order in your home can be. Throw in some depression, low self esteem and lack of support or absence of positive reinforcement...and we are 'Done For'. I know I am lucky...I mean I own my own home and everything in it...so after hiding myself away with my possessions for years (most that I couldn't find) I made the decision to 'take stock', 'clean house', get rid of the deadwood'......as I could barely breath.

My Terrace house is very old and large, and I'm not necessarily a hoarder, but I do have a lot of 'stuff'....the result of my travels and being an artist. When looking at the whole task of cleaning and sorting through everything, it was overwhelmingly depressing and seemed totally impossible. But just over a year ago I was determined to change my life, so I picked one draw in the hallway and emptied it out on the floor. Everything that was useless or of no value I put in the bin, anything that belonged somewhere else I put in a box, everything I could maybe sell at a yard sale went into another box, the rest went neatly back into the draw. This took me the entire morning.......but I had made a start and was extremely proud and motivated to do more. That evening I did another draw, then another, rolled up my hallway rug and put a price tag of $30 on it for my yard sale and took it to my garage with other saleable items. I continued with this routine when I could find the time, but had to set targets and rules otherwise I would just be going round in circles without achieving anything.

1. Don't look at the whole picture, focus on one task at a time.
2. Don't just move things from one area to another to deal with later....you will be fighting a losing battle. If you can't find a place for it...consider that maybe you don't need it.
3. Stick to one area or room at a time….even if it takes you a week or 2 to complete. This was my secret to staying motivated….don’t look too far down the road.
4. Be proud of and enjoy the clean tidy space you have created. Move favourite items from other areas such as a special lamp or framed picture. This will encourage you to get started on the next room.
5. Don’t set time restrictions……if you can’t complete it today? Don’t just do half the job, finish it tomorrow, or next week.
6. Totally get excited about cleaning products....I have favourites like 'Minty Kleen' and a can of pure bees wax that are my cleaning buddies.

There are a few other rules I have, but you need to find what works for you. As other members have mentioned above, there are many online sites that offer tips on clearing stuff out and staying motivated.

I have now completed my entire house, courtyard and crawl space in the ceiling. My last area to tackle is my sprawling studio…..halfway done now. Spring is now here, so I’m gearing up for a mammoth yard sale…I have been very brutal, and am letting a lot of needless stuff go…but I will hopefully make enough cash to replace that tired old hallway rug I rolled up on Day 1 with a genuine Persian runner….My reward for a job well done.

This massive job has taken me over a year (on and off) to complete. But so very very worth it. Not only do I now have a home that is functional, clean, and beautiful…but I can now see my way ahead to other projects I want to achieve in my life…and know I am more than capable of reaching those goals.

Good luck with your quest Evening Q.L

Not my favorite activity either.. I set days to do things. Laundry, bath rooms, kitchen.. etc. This way it is not so overwhelming for me. Maybe that could help you as well. Next, come and clean my house... please, lol

Oh my gosh.....word for word....I could have written this.....it's exactly what I've been saying for several years now.......I really need a one room cabin to live in. When I bought my farm house I wasn't planning on the time that I was getting divorced finally after 33 years of a bad marriage. I ended up buying a 2500 sq ft home with 4 bedrooms 3 baths & a huge basement......& no furniture. Most of the stuff is just empty boxes or boxes that I haven't been able to carry upstairs by myself. Living alone, I can only do so much work.....when I have a project I work on it & everything else gets let go......like I had to paint the bedroom floor before they could lay the linoleum because of my dogs messing up the carpet......but the kitchen got left & the yard & fields needed mowing....but there is only one me.....& on top of that, I fractured my back about 3 years ago & I can only to do much work at a time or stand up for so much time before it starts hurting & then I just can't push myself like I could in my younger days & there is no one else to push when I'm not able to push myself.....like I would force my husband to do the work when I completely crashed......but I am finally free from the bad marriage.....so there is NO ONE BUT ME....& when ME doesn't get it done....it doesn't get done.

Find sometimes a mess happens in the kitchen & if I physically can't deal with it at the time....it just gets left....then other things have a higher priority......& the mess just waits....as it's not going anywhere until I finally get around to it....but when too many of those messes happen around the house & with 3 dogs...messes happen......sometimes I just want to nuke the house.....or as normal....I pray for a tornado to take it away so I can replace it with the cute little cabin I really want.

I get overwhelmed easily so I use Google Calendar to send me an e-mail each morning with minor tasks to achieve each day. This morning I got "clean bathroom sink", tomorrow I think is "clean kitchen counter". These emails both remind me to do some specific task and show me that I can keep a clean house doing just a little every day.

I've completely failed this week, I did one room and that was it. But it was one room at least! I think this won't be happening, not at least until my next inspection comes up... which I think is next month. I have to work all of next week so I really won't have the time then. *big sads*

Second attempt at cleaning has commenced, I'm washing some clothes, my makeup brushes, and doing some dishes (the kitchen is undoubtedly the worst room in my house).

One room is NOT a complete failure.....that is a HUGE accomplishment!!!!

I would say maybe you could do one small thing each day while you are working next week but I know how difficult that is & when I try to even do a small thing, it looks like I haven't done anything.


At least you don't have spider filled cupboards in your kitchen you need to clean out. I was actually doing some cleaning in my master bathroom (the one I use all the time). I lifted up the table cloth that I had laying over a little cabinet.....& there under it was a HUGE wolf spider. I screamed & ran out of the bathroom, trying to find my bug spray. I am so bad with bug spray....I can stray the whole container on one bug just to try & make sure it dies....dang...I might as well squish it but that grosses me out too.

It takes too much time to have to clean everything so thoroughly & it's exhausting.......I got 4 loads of laundry done....I do down to the basement & it's covered in spider webs because I hadn't gone down to do laundry for quite awhile....& there were baby spiders climbing down the webs.....I spray & spray & the next week.....they are all back......I'm doubting that I will ever get ahead since I have gotten so far behind.....so I understand your :sad:.......it can be sooooooo frustrating IMO & then I get discouraged.......& just hope the health department doesn't find out how bad things are before I get most of it straightened up. I only have 2 rooms that I would call acceptable.....the little room I moved into for my bedroom when I moved out of the master bedroom when I had the new linoleum installed.....(trying to get it organized back into a craft & working room for ironing & sewing).....but forget the rest of the house......want to get the family room somewhat cleaned up as it has the plants that I brought in last winter that ended up dying because some issues came up & depression hit & watering plants wasn't even on my priority list. My dog & I walked into the family room a few months ago & there was a huge lizard. I don't know where he got away to....but figured if it knew how to get in, it would know how to get out.....tried to catch the little lizard that I found in the master bedroom the other day but it got away before I could catch it.......I love country living.....all except for the bugs.....my other hate are the millipedes .....all bugs bite me if they get on me.....so I have a real thing about getting into areas that I can't see & don't know are safe.....too many dangerous spiders around here that I know people have been bit by & I don't want to be one of those people......so in my over cautious way.....I procrastinate doing anything.

Let us know how it's going Evening....I've been having some difficulties chore-wise as well. I'll give it a go right alongside ya. My problem is overall disorganization. I understand I think. Tonight I'll try a bit of that kitchen and at least clean the fridge inside. Been wanting to do that. Yes music does help somewhat. See you for now and cheers.

Oh but I doooo have spiders in my cupboards! I cleaned my food cupboard as well the other day, it had mould on the self from things that had leaked, and at least 3 spiders residing. They aren't anything more than daddy long legs though. If it were a huntsman on the other hand...

Do you find once you get started you tend to get into it a bit? At least some parts of it anyway.

Oh my.....I totally relate to your situation......those cupboards that haven't been accessed that much are definitely the most difficult to clean.....dang spiders think they own every place as their home.

Throwing out moldy stuff myself.....so I completely relate

Sometimes Evening, I do. Most time I get distracted but that's when I have my sights set on maybe an unrealistic goal....like doing EVERYTHING. Once in a rare while I can do a full day of choring and that IS satisfying but it isn't often.

Last time that happened was when my landlord was showing the building etc to prospective buyers...in the spring. Top to bottom...strangers were coming to stomp through and I did a thorough job. Not something easily done in one big rush and impractical as an approach to regular maintenance.

My cleaning etc is mostly fits and starts. How have you been doing? Just came by here and maybe thinking I could do the fridge...I DID get to some other chores but still haven't done the danged refrig. Maybe tonight seeing as how I'm here and thinking now about it. *smile* Sometimes the whole idea of getting to it needs to pop into my head...as I said I'm pretty easily distracted.

That said...when I start...and the music is hitting my good mood then it's a lot easier to flow with the go. Keep it up in bits at least....regular bits help and might after time develop into bigger chunks. Say hi anytime...I'll really try that fridge after sup. Best time is now when the thing isn't as full as usual. Cheers and lucks E.

I grew up in a VERY clean house. My mom (and her mom) is almost compulsive in her cleaning. I love having a clean, organized house. However, in recent years, I find it very hard to get up the motivation to clean. Most of the time I do just enough to make the house somewhat presentable, even though we rarely have anyone over. It just seems like it's a never-ending cycle and my mind says, "What's the point?". I'm trying to change that but it's hard.

It's a constant, never-ending battle in my case, too. And it doesn't help that spoiled husband has developed the deplorable habit of NEVER cleaning up after himself, not even in small ways (but, oh, his garage is always tidy and straight!! grrr.).

All I can do these days is one-knotty-problem at-a-time...say, pick the thing that needs to be done the most and then do not even think anymore about anything...empty my mind, and just do it.

One mound, one small manageable goal at a time.

And however much you get done, celebrate a little...even if it's counting it as a positive, and being self-congratulating. Always celebrate those victories! They amount to serious positives, over time.