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#1
Aug 20, 2010, 06:13 PM
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(It's a shame that not many people post here
 )How did you know (or have an idea) that you were dependent? I didn't know there was a disorder for that... I just figured that I was over-dependent because I had an overprotective mother. All the relationships that I was comfortable in had a control dynamic. I was happy. I find it hard to stay in a relationship when I'm not being given attention a lot and if someone else passes along that can give me attention and control. Stability. I needed it, craved it. It drive me nuts. I do the pushing away but at the same time I can't stand being alone, even if I try to play it off. In my head, I can take "relationships take work" to a whole nother level. It's more than work. I deal, and eventually what they like is what I'll like. I can internalize until a breaking point or I get over it. (I wish I had that "get over it" mentality with depression.) Anyway, I'm not comfortable outside of a relationship, nor am I if I can't depend on my SO to make decisions for me. If I can serve them and they can take care of me, I'm happy. In my mind, I can't understand why this is so bad. When I'm alone, it is bad. That I feel stuck in my home with my mother (that's for multiple reasons, however) is bad. That I understand. But I feel I'm starting to understand the whole "battered wives" thing. Not because I'm being abused, but because I understand now the feeling of not being able to leave.
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Asmodeus  "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." -Bertrand Russell "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Albert Einstein "Reality continues to ruin my life." -Bill Watterson Let's make a wish Easy one That you are not the only one And someone's there next to you holding your hand Make a wish You'll be fine Nothing's gonna let you down Someone's there next to you holding you Along the paths you walk  Last edited by AngelAsmodeus; Aug 20, 2010 at 06:27 PM. |
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#2
Aug 20, 2010, 07:12 PM
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wow,i can relate,,i feellike everything would be wonderful if i could just make that someone happy,,BUT,,i cannot get over things,,so i live a life of turmoil in my head,,it is very hard to think about being alone,,if i can hold it all together without someone to tell you they love you and its ok,,that your ok,,they say it is lonelier in a bad relationship than it is to be alone,,,once i get the help i need i may be able to determine if my relationship is doing more harm than good,,if so i will leave , if it is more the way i view it than i may learn to change my view...are you talking to anyone about this(doc?)..maybe there are some skills you could be taught,,,thats what im hoping..have a good night
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 AngelAsmodeus
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#3
Aug 20, 2010, 07:39 PM
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I know how you feel for certain. I never get over things and can degrade myself for months.
I guess I understand how it can be lonelier in a bad relationship. I got all worked up and cried on a daily basis when that happened. I'm supposed to see a psych on Tuesday. Hopefully that plays out well. I'm afraid I will shut down while I'm there or breakdown and get nothing done. Thanks for sharing. 
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Asmodeus "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." -Bertrand Russell "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Albert Einstein "Reality continues to ruin my life." -Bill Watterson Let's make a wish Easy one That you are not the only one And someone's there next to you holding your hand Make a wish You'll be fine Nothing's gonna let you down Someone's there next to you holding you Along the paths you walk |
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#4
Oct 12, 2010, 03:11 PM
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I know I am dependant, because I have very bad separation anxiety.
I cry constantly when my husband is at drill (he's in the Army Reserves)... and I even get panicy and cry during the days leading up to his drill. In my rational mind, I know that he will be back in 1-3 days (depending if he leaves on Friday morning and comes back that night, or if he has to stay all weekend... until Sunday night) I also hate being alone during the day while he is at work (which is why I am on here so much. PC is my attempt at distraction, sometimes it works and I feel ok, but sometimes I still feel panicy throughout the day) Also... I just looked up DPD up on the conditions and disorders section of PC... and I have 8 out of 8 of the symptoms. It was like I was reading a biography of myself... scary. (link to what I read: http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx13.htm)
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It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
Last edited by Miracle1986; Oct 12, 2010 at 03:28 PM. Reason: adding link |
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#5
Nov 03, 2010, 03:17 PM
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I have to respond to this great question--
No official diagnosis, but I am to some unhealthy degree. I know because I had this old boss who I discovered was a textbook narcissist and I realized serving him made me happier than any achievements I had on my own. Frankly, it is kind of stunning to me. But it wasn't a good situation for me yet I was as settled in a way that I've never been in any other job and it was all about his direction and pleasing him, etc. |
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#6
Jun 28, 2011, 10:34 AM
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i have the same problem i cant be alone at all...i mainly rely on my friends...i figured out about dpd when the friend that i am extreemly dependent on researched it and told me then i talked to my consolor.....i have a huge fear of being alone...i have to always be around her or atleast someone....i am to clingy and it makes me very deprssed because i have pushed people away because of it...it scares me and i dont want to be this way...its hard
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