extremely EXTREMELY depressed

If you can tell me what will make you feel better, I will try.

I have been told to do just one thing every day that is just for me. Sometimes the "one thing" is just getting out of bed.

Some days a walk, some days I make my grocery list, some days the only thing good about the day is that it is over. Some days I don't have the energy to try.

Every day is a battle and I have no answers.



kebs

Checking in to offer my respectful best wishes...hoping you're doing at least a bit better.

:flying airplane towing a colorful banner - "AriesMars!":

so sad to hear...(((froggy with little brain, but big heart)))

{for all readers}...as for me today is better. I am climbing up to 45-50% seen my T today and we talked and i mentioned talk about suicide and it was comforting and not threating as i told her it was just thoughts and it is normal. i hope she believes me...but further down it might be abit more than just thoughts for me...

a nice greeting on PC message or email on a random day would be a nice thing from anyone...

visitor messges and pic comments are nice, id like many more to read...hopefully positive.

I hope things in your little corner of the world are improving. At least I will hope you find your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.



Sometimes life is so crappy all I am able to give is

no i did not get a hug today. glad i got one now! (i imagine it is real, but just cant do it )

As I recall, "The Tommy Knockers" was a television-adapted novel by Stephen King. Please reference it first if the reference eludes you. (Thanks )
Once upon a time I knew a guy who would be going along, very good-natured, easy to get along with and with a great, quirky sense of humor.
He enjoyed a variety of hobbies, playing w/ his children everyday-I felt priveledged and blessed to know him. Over the years (with increasing frequency throughout the year), this same individual would just, just-
stop being happy with everyday life. It was literally as though a magician had put one of those silken scarves over his face, pulled it off, and 'pouff'.
He was gone, and this dark, hopeless, angry, destructive, devisive invader
played out havoc across his life...invariably leaving him holding the bag.
Who can really determine and/or predict what lying vortex, what terminal corridor, this "Tommy Knocker" might pipe this human being down?
Where ever this guy is gagged and bound inside, the invader forbids him from taking a trip to his family doctor. With all the information we now have on the mind, the brain, the body...transcending what was merely theory in the past, well.
I sure do hope you can get out to your doctor asap-and leave what might be your 'knocker' gagged, bound...and in the dust!
Everyone questions the meaning of things from time to time-would a meteor, a tree or even a turtle?
A Chimpanzee is sure cute when it questions it's diaper tabs.
Get well soon

feeling down again...why oh why does it keep happening to me....i wish i knew...

Sorry you're feeling down again

Is this the "normal" kind of "down," or is it different today?

Hi aries, ss to hear you're feeling so down. I'm sending you lots of and happy thoughts. If you can muster up the energy to get to a video store and rent a good comedy that might help to lift your spirits a bit even if it's just for a little while to give you a break. My very favorite comedy is "Office Space". I've seen it at least 10 times and every time i watch it i always find something i've missed b4. I know it's hard to keep plugging away, to keep going on sometimes but you can do it. You'll get out of this. There's light at the end of the tunnel. Hard to believe now but it's there. Life is worth living. It can certainly be a challenge sometimes and sometimes it seems that's all there is is one challenge after another but you can do it. One step at a time. Give yourself credit for every little thing you manage to do as each step brings you further out of the darkness.
I've found that if i focus on only right here, right now that everything is alright. I have a roof over my head and it's pouring rain out side so i'm good. I have ppl in my life that I care about and that I know care about me so I'm truly blessed. I have a job I'm happy with so that's a good thing. Right now I am physically healthy and so are most of the ppl in my life. What more could I ask for? Anyway do you see my point? If you think of all the good you have and everything that's going right right now then you're one step ahead of the game. It's when I start to think about things that happened in my past or when I start to worry about my uncertain furture that I get down. But right now, right this moment in time I can be happy. And if you can't be happy then you can just at least be. I have to choose day by day and sometimes even minute by minute to live only in the present. This is where it's all happening. Right here, right now. There's beauty all around you and there's beauty inside of you. Look outside......is the sun shining? if it is that's great. Is it raining? if so that's great too cause it makes everything grow, cleanses the earth. See any flowers growing? or maybe vegetables growing in a garden? The earth renews itself moment by moment. Now look inside. There's so much you have to offer this world. Even if you can't imagine it right now, just by being you contribute to the world. You're part of it. It's part of you. We're all in this together. Allow yourself to just be. Just like the earth renews itself moment by moment, we renew ourselves moment by moment. There is always the ability to feel better, if only a little bit, right now. And if that doesn't work, rent "Office Space." lol.......jk. Sorry didn't mean to make light of the situation. I know you're hurting. I hope you understand what I've said and I appologize if my post seems to be a bit esoteric but this works for me and I thought maybe it could work for you.
If you do feel like you can't handle any more could you contact your T for an emergency appointment? Or contact a crisis hotline?
You could PM me if you'd like. I'll listen. I care. Even though I don't know you I hate to see anyone in so much pain.
Aries, remember....it hasn't always been this bad. It can be good again. It can even be so much better than it has ever been. There's always hope. It's always there. You just need to allow it into your life.

Take care,
BL

Take Care of Yourself.

((((((((((ariesmars)))))))))))

how r u feeling now?

major headache last night, minor headache today. sad i missed phone call from T ...I wanted to talk to her. I want to hug her, but i know i can't...

I have had several therapist and most of them give hugs.All I had to do was ask.

I'm so sorry you are feeling so down. Wish I had the right words or could do something (anything) to make you feel better.

There have been times when everything was dark and ugly. No matter what I tried to do, nothing worked. I can't even say what made everything change for the better or change again into a dark hole.

Please take this hug as intended, a shoulder to cry on for awhile





kebs

why wont my t hug me? Had 2 and neither will hug me or touch me. is it cause im male and they female and im ugly and all nasty and hated and worthless and should just drop dead...

anyway, im about done. im down to 5% and just want the pain to end...i will not bother anyone anymore and not keep posting keeping the others from getting the support they need as i dont mean anything, never did, never will...

sorry, just so so sorry to all...

You mean a lot to us, dont stop posting, you are hurting and you deserve the support just like everyone else...You matter, take good care of yourself
(((((ariesmars))))

(((((((((((ariesmars))))))))))

You are not a bother. Not worthless or any of those things. That is the depression talking.

WELL---depression LIES

don't listn to it. keep hanging on, and keep posting.

And ask your T why she won't hug you.

I agree with the others you are not worthless and certainly not a bother.

Berries is right, depression feeds you lies. Don't let them into your brain filling it with half truths. You have to learn to get past them.

It won't be easy but try to stay focused on the positive things in your life.
By all means keep posting here. We care.

And don't fixate of the no hugging thing. There are a lot of people in this world who think of hugs as ugly, unnecessary things. They just don't know what they are missing. Their loss not yours.





kebs

(((ariesmars)))

(((((((((((ariesmars)))))))))))
Plz hang in there. Plz keep posting.

How are you feeling today? Plz call your T if you are not able to stay safe.

Oh, yes - please keep posting. I second everything Berries and Kebsfroggy said. Slowly, slowly, be safe.

I care, please keep giving us updates!

I wish I could send depression away..

DEPRESSION BE GONE FROM ARIESMARS!!!!!!!!

i didnt want to post anymore, but i am convinced i am cared for...so here i am. I am better and safe. still sad and lonely, but alive. (not that it is a good thing, i just dont know) i got a mini dvr for my model plane that i got in the air and went for a ride. got great video. when i get it edited, will post, but could use lots of hugs and kisses (xoxoxoxo) from others meanwhile...keep me from crying, please...