[JayS]

I'm too busy trying to make other people happy and all I get back is laughs and lies. I don't know why I even bother trying. I'm so down and depressed I feel like I'm dead, I don't care about anything anymore and I don't care about myself, I haven't even showered or brushed my teeth in two days, I don't want to do anything and I don't even feel like eating and mostly I'm tired of my shi**y life. No one around me cares so why should I.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by JayS

I'm too busy trying to make other people happy and all I get back is laughs and lies.

Interesting - the story of getting little or nothing in return for efforts in others' behalf is a common one, but you mention "laughs and lies." Feel free to ignore my nosiness, but I'd like to hear more about those laughs and lies.

Do the people around you know you're hurting? Do your efforts for them mask your need?

[Amazonmom]

Jay, when people really piss me off, and make me feel like crap, this is what I have learned to do. I figured this out when my fiance left me about 12 years ago.

Get up, brush teeth, take shower, dress in clean clothes anyway. It takes a monumental effort. Sometimes I have had to pretend I was happy Amazon instead of severely depressed Amazon. I kept on living. That way, I didn't let the people who hurt me win. I won, because I kept on living.

It doesn't always work so well. But it helps for me. I also recommend therapy, because it really does help you through traumas.

[FerretGuy5]

I know the feeling of feeling dead. You need to shower, brush your teeth and get out of the house daily. Hopefully, you sre seeing a therapist and on an antidepressant. Don't give up on necessary daily functions.

[JayS]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Interesting - the story of getting little or nothing in return for efforts in others' behalf is a common one, but you mention "laughs and lies." Feel free to ignore my nosiness, but I'd like to hear more about those laughs and lies.

Do the people around you know you're hurting? Do your efforts for them mask your need?

Sorry, it's a bit long but this is what I'm talking about http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=101574

And I hide these feelings.

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

Jay, when people really piss me off, and make me feel like crap, this is what I have learned to do. I figured this out when my fiance left me about 12 years ago.

Get up, brush teeth, take shower, dress in clean clothes anyway. It takes a monumental effort. Sometimes I have had to pretend I was happy Amazon instead of severely depressed Amazon. I kept on living. That way, I didn't let the people who hurt me win. I won, because I kept on living.

It doesn't always work so well. But it helps for me. I also recommend therapy, because it really does help you through traumas.

Thanks Amazonmom, I try to do that but my feelings control me.

Originally Posted by FerretGuy5

I know the feeling of feeling dead. You need to shower, brush your teeth and get out of the house daily. Hopefully, you sre seeing a therapist and on an antidepressant. Don't give up on necessary daily functions.

I have no therapist yet or even antidepressants. But I am seeing my doctor on thursday about it to get the ball rolling.

[turquoisesea]

I'm glad you're going to your doctor maybe he/she has some ideas and some contacts that can help.

I know it's hard, but what the others have said is so true. Get up, brush your teeth, get out of the house, etc. It is so very important. I'm not going to say my life is together - it's a mess but things are SIGNIFICANTLY better when ipush myself to do these things. I might not truly be able to for days but trying, pushing for it makes things better and focuses you on recovery

[JayS]

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

I'm glad you're going to your doctor maybe he/she has some ideas and some contacts that can help.

I know it's hard, but what the others have said is so true. Get up, brush your teeth, get out of the house, etc. It is so very important. I'm not going to say my life is together - it's a mess but things are SIGNIFICANTLY better when ipush myself to do these things. I might not truly be able to for days but trying, pushing for it makes things better and focuses you on recovery

Thanks turquoisesea, I'm trying, but it's hard.

[susan888]

Depression is an evil b**** that just sucks the life out of you.. I know how it feels to struggle just to get a stupid shower and feel exhausted after you do that...Your family doesn't understand what's up with you...you just want to sleep...escape.

But then....you wake up one morning and actually feel OK...geez...what's up with that??? You spend the day not trusting that feeling because you are so used to feeling like s***.

Just know that you are not alone in this struggle.

Sending hugs.

[Slick399]

Jay,

You are certainly not alone in this quest to feel better. I agree with what the others have said on their posts. Try and force yourself just to brush your teeth and then take the other things one step at a time. I know it isn't easy, but you are WORTH it--a million times.

Take Care,
Slick399

[In_The_Darkness]

I know exactly what you're going through - I felt exactly the same and gave up by just going into complete isolation. Don't you do the same thing. Know that no matter how things seem, you will soon recover. Things can only get better.

Keep ploughing on. Life is f****** hard and I have noticed that people hardly ever understand you and appreeciate what you try and do achieve. Ignore it jay.

Remember last time you went down. Did you go into a kinda high after that ? Maybe you just need to wait for that high again - it's only temporary. Just wait there. You'll see x

[Rachie]

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way jay, ive been there before and it sucks! I hope you get the help you need soon. Good luck at your doctors appointment. Sending you warm hugs

[ben10]

the 'lies/laughs' that's the illness talking, not reality, so take it easy on yourself- like was already said...ignore, walk away- do what calms you, and even if you just throw cold water on your face and walk around the house- it does wonders...I Know. quite a few of us have been right where you are...it IS only a temporary feeling- get on your meds and start talking you'll be feeling much better. trust in the process.

[JayS]

Thank you everyone and Rachie

I know lot's of people go through it too... and I'm sorry for that..... it's not right for anyone to go through but it happens.

As for me, nothing has changed for the better yet.

[Rohag]

OK, I read the other thread.

That surely would overwhelm me. May you find strength greater than mine. May it come quickly. May joy surprise you.

[JayS]

Originally Posted by Rohag

OK, I read the other thread.

That surely would overwhelm me. May you find strength greater than mine. May it come quickly. May joy surprise you.

Thanks Rohag.