feeling so alone

I feel so awful and alone. I feel like I don't deserve to be around anyone who would care about me, but it is hard to believe that there are any. I feel like I would just be wasting their time. And that's what they must be thinking anyway since none of them ever contact me or return emails or calls. I was doing better but now it feels even worse. I don't mean to waste your time.

(((googley)))
We are here for you
Hang in there .................Take Care

(((googley)))

You are not alone.....rejection is bad....

((((googley))))

You are not alone. We are here for you and we are listening. Reaching out a hand to you to hold onto...................................................................................

dps

Just got out of a staff meeting that left me feeling really unsupported! Apparently my feelings are just a "power dynamic" that isn't even worth dealing with. They don't count. Why did I expect anything else? Nothing I have done has ever been taken into consideration.

Spill your feelings here, Googley. We'll sponge them up, and do our best to be your company. You're worth it!

(((((((((((((( googley )))))))))))))))))))))

I work as a live in volunteer. The three of us volunteers each put in almost as much time each week as I do at my paid full time position. The job was enjoyable until our director left. Now the clinical director is the one who is supervising us. I brought up with my individual supervisor that I did not appreciate it when the participants in the program would yell for us to get us to come to where they were. There had always been a no yelling rule and a rule that the participants were supposed to come find us when they needed us instead of yelling through the facility. There are a couple of reasons for this 1. it can be triggering for other residents when people yell. 2. it is triggering for me when someone yells for/at me 3. we assume it is an emergency if someone is yelling 4. we don't yell for the residents when we need to talk to them or have them do something. 5. common courtesy. When the issue was brought up in our group meeting tonight it was brushed off. It has been going on for a while and I feel that the staff as they are limited in number right now, just don't want to deal with doing anything that might upset the participants. However, I feel that the program would be better served if they were to enforce these common courtesies in that part of the program is teaching interpersonal skills. I believe teaching people to yell for each other through a building is not the type of skills we should be teaching. If they had a reason that they felt that allowing the residents to yell at us was a better policy I would be happy to hear it. However, that is not what they presented. Instead they just ignored the problem. It does not help that when I tried to have individual supervision with the person who is overseeing us now it did not work out as she tried to turn it into therapy sessions. She has not seem to be able to move on past me saying that I did not like her doing that and that was not what supervision was for. She seems to continue to hold a grudge which I believe is clouding her view of the issue. So before I just assumed that she was ignoring my concerns, now I know she is ignoring my concerns. Glad I didn't bring up how I felt like we weren't being supported. Thank you for listening. I am feeling a little better now.

Googley, I'm so sorry. Feeling rejected and worthless is not a good place to be in. Just because people around you treat you with disrespect and thoughtlessly, does not mean you have to believe them or accept their behavior.

You are as worth-full as any other person on earth. You deserve respect, love and care as much as any one of us does. Don't let "them" make you feel bad about yourself. Don't accept unacceptable behavior.
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Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with yourself. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

by Max Ehrmann (with very slight editing by me)

Thank you all for your support! It has helped. I went and talked to one of the other volunteers and she thought I had some good points and will bring them up with our supervisor. That helped too. Sometimes when I am feeling really bad (well usually when I am feeling really bad) I find it hard to reach out and ask for help. I just assume that I am wrong. Writing it here helped me to be able to bring it up and organize my thoughts. So, thank you every one. I am sure now that I can make it through the night safely. I see my T tomorrow and that will help some more. Take care. I am going to bed now.

just wanted to add my hugs and good luck with the situation.

I hate that every day I end up in the same depressed and exhausted place every day. I hate everything.