purely selfish thinking... im sorry, i need a place to.. i dont know

my ts fully booked this week.
im not seeing her till tuesday.

im so sick
of this
arguing
or being jealous
or worrying
of making him feel like **** without meaning to
of just
being here
and feeling this pain
and this emptiness
i couldnt get out again today
weak
pathetic
stupid girl
i want out.
i want to scream it, i want to shout it, i want to cry it, i dont want to go through this any more.
so empty.
so lost,
so lonely
so tired,
so angry

I WANT TO STOP PLAYING THIS STUPID GAME CALLED LIFE.

it hurts,
im hurting
and thats selfish and horrible and its tearing my life apart
i cant cope with this pain;
but i cant cut any more
i mean i dont have the means
i can burn but that pain
i dont want it any more
it used to be how i coped but i cant take any more pain
i just want it all over.
why cant it be over?

LET ME OUT.

((((((bananasarecool))))))
We know. Hang in there!
.. and you are not at all selfish.. your depression is.

(((bananas)))

((((bananasarecool))))

I know where you are and I understand. But it is not the answer. I hear everything you are saying. I am right there with you, but it is not okay. The depression is lying to you. You are worth everything. You are worth hearing and standing beside. We care and are here for you. If we stand together we can make it.

I know how life can be. Wanting out and wanting the pain to stop. But you can do this and win. Writing what you feel is a good thing as long as you are just writing. I know you feel alone----I understand that feeling. But you are not alone. You have all of us here pulling and standing with you. I know the pain seems so bad, so unrelenting----but together we can fight through the pain.

I know it is not easy----but you are worth the fighting. Scream it----shout it----cry it-----do whatever you need to do to hang on. I am screaming, shouting, and crying right along with you. The louder we are, the more power we have. Believe me, I know life is not fun or easy----but you are not to blame. You do not make him feel anything----he is responsible for his own feelings.

I know how hurting yourself relieves the pain but only for that instant. The pain is still there and then you have to also deal with the feelings after hurting. Please do not hurt yourself. Keep writing and reaching here. We are here for you at anytime. Scream it here and cry, we will not judge you or ridicule you. We are here to support you and walk right beside you until this storm passes.

You are not pathetic or stupid. You are in pain and have a right to your feelings. Know we are here for you and do care. Please keep posting and reaching. I am here sitting quietly next to you and reaching out my hand to you.....................................................................take it if you can and hold on. I care. Sending you gentle hugs if that is okay.

dps

(((bananasarecool)))

I don't know what to say .(((darkpurplesecrets))) said it for all
of us . We care There is hope , you must believe that , no
matter how bad you feel. Please take care of yourself

I join Darkpurplesecrets in standing with you. My voice is weak, but my mind echoes the screams. We're beside you.

I know what it's like to feel like that... We all do... Keep posting, we're here with you

((((((((((((((((( bananas )))))))))))))))))