Scared *****trigger*****

Sweet (((((((((((Tomi))))))))))))

That's ok hun...my internet was down for a couple of days and I wasn't able to get back online til tonight.

sigh I know somewhere I have the strength in me....it's just finding it that's the tough part. I feel so much anger towards him and I think that is where my strength is coming from.???maybe? I dunno.

He has been calling here from the detox/rehab centre and I had to call the staff there to monitor his phone calls as he is bothering me. He "says" he wants to talk to William but that lasts a whole 2 seconds....grrrr. He is only there for 2 weeks and then the mental health dept takes over his case. Not sure where that leaves us but a restraining order is needed. I talked to a lawyer as well as a police officer/friend for their help with that too.

I just wish that he "gets it" ya know?

I am so tired and stressed to the max....its hard enough being all alone raising my boys....being laid off from my job hasn't helped much either...did I tell you that happened too? I am doing some part time workshops and stuff but...sigh oh well. Keep on keeping on as Sj said

Thank you for being there for me hun...I appreciate it more than you know. (((((((((Momma)))))))))) xoxo

Yup! I agree that your strength is coming from your anger right now. In the past, my anger was the fuel for what I wanted and needed. Kinda took the winds out of my sails when I dealt with my anger.

Don't like to have to get angry anymore, but sometimes, that's the only way to get things done. Just gotta channel it in the right direction.

Don't you have a cousin that's a mountie? Sic him on Mike! LOL No kidding, though. He should be able to help with keeping him away from you.

I'm with you on hoping that Mike "gets it." Let's hope he does sooner rather than later.

Didn't know you'd been layed off. Didn't that little business you and your friend start get off the ground? Bummer deal!! You and the boys need to take a nice... long... trip... outta da country! We've still got that RV that sleeps four adults and two kids!

You sound a whole lot better today. You won't realize just how much courage and strength you have until it's over. But remember, it's okay to break down and have yourself a good cry or beat the hell out of a pillow with a baseball bat! You'll be tired, but you'll feel better.

Oh. And did I tell you? "You're not alone." LOL That reminds me of when you were making sure we all knew it was your birthday.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Love ya, Hun!

Heather,

I hope things are better for you. Yes, feeling scared and angry are normal things, even with this kind of situation. People who are suicidal seem to not realize the effect that they would have on others...I am glad he has you there.

I hope you both feel better very very soon.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather?}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

(((((((((Tomi))))))))))

I'm here...just hiding a bit

Things are going so-so....I have some work lined up for this week (workshops...yup still doing some of those - my friend Bonnie is working full time with another job so we haven't been able to connect much lately but I went ahead and booked some) and I am Timmy's hockey team manager and there are 2 banquets within the next 2 weeks so that is keeping me busy too. I am afraid that when I slow down is when everything will hit me at once.

I am in touch with my T and she knows everything going on - she is concerned of course. Mike did get out of detox yesterday...and is staying with his mom.

I am just keeping on....

Love you xoxo

(((((((((Heather and the kids))))))))

It must be very hard going through this with young children. Keeping close to them and staying involve in their activities can help you in a way.

I hope you can find peace soon. I wish there would be more I could do for you.

Love you my friend,
nightdream

<font color="purple">{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</font>

Another hug waiting for you when you return.