[Tonny]

I have an appointment with a doc tomorrow. I can't figure out what to say or do. I am scared if I tell them everything going on in my head, they will just lock me up and throw away the key. I know that is unrealistic, but that doesn't change the thought.

I know it is time to share the issues I have and stop being the 'everything is great' person most people see. I am tired of faking this so called life. I am tired of everyone expecting me to have all the answers. I am tired of hating everything about myself.

I am not sure how much to share. I do not want to minimize my feelings and thoughts, but I do not want to over share and have the doc over react.

Ironically, I also think, what if they tell me it is all in my head ?

I have had bad experiences with docs who diagnose the trendy issues, medicate for the wrong problem, and who just didn't listen to what I said. So that is where most of my anxiety may be coming from, but I know I need to start this process.

[3velniai]

just start with one thing and see how it feels, then move to another one, then another. I'm sure they won't lock you up (because I stole key, lol lol and I won't give it back)

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by Tonny

I have an appointment with a doc tomorrow. I can't figure out what to say or do. I am scared if I tell them everything going on in my head, they will just lock me up and throw away the key. I know that is unrealistic, but that doesn't change the thought.

I know it is time to share the issues I have and stop being the 'everything is great' person most people see. I am tired of faking this so called life. I am tired of everyone expecting me to have all the answers. I am tired of hating everything about myself.

I am not sure how much to share. I do not want to minimize my feelings and thoughts, but I do not want to over share and have the doc over react.

Ironically, I also think, what if they tell me it is all in my head ?

I have had bad experiences with docs who diagnose the trendy issues, medicate for the wrong problem, and who just didn't listen to what I said. So that is where most of my anxiety may be coming from, but I know I need to start this process.

Yes do your best and work on what you want to first but be honest. If you are not they will not be able to help you. good luck hugs for your day.

[Tonny]

Thanks you two. I will post tomorrow after my visit and let everyone know how it went.

[Lifsuks]

Hi Tonny,
I'm sure a lot of us felt the same way when we first went to t. In fact, I think a lot of us still feel the same off and on. Much of what you describe is very familiar. I was worried about being "put away" too, esp. for the suicidal tho'ts that runs thro' my head. However, I have since told my T about these tho'ts and I am still here! I've learned from experience and from others, that it takes more than just saying you have the tho'ts to put you away. You must actually make the threat (so don't do that!) of doing harm to yourself or others. Once I admitted my tho'ts, I have found it freed up my mind to talk about other issues I was having. I felt so much relief. If you are still not sure, talk to your T about how much can be said w/o actually being involuntarily hospitalized. I did and have never looked back since. I told my T that everything I have told him since I started t., was, and still is, the honest truth. He was very glad about that. It shows that you trust your T. If I feel uncomfortable about revealing anything, I write it down in my journal and read it a few times, and maybe, over time, you may feel comfortable about discussing it, but until then, you don't have to tell your T anything that makes you uncomfortable. I started to reveal more because I wanted to get better faster. My reasoning was that, if he didn't know me, then how can he help me! But, yes, it takes trust, so if you still do not trust or feel comfortable w/ your T to open up to him/her, maybe you need to spend more time talking to him, or eventually, if (s)he doesn't "fit" you, you can always find a new T. Good luck and take care! Hope your t. went well!

[Edahn]

Originally Posted by Tonny

I have an appointment with a doc tomorrow. I can't figure out what to say or do. I am scared if I tell them everything going on in my head, they will just lock me up and throw away the key. I know that is unrealistic, but that doesn't change the thought.

I know it is time to share the issues I have and stop being the 'everything is great' person most people see. I am tired of faking this so called life. I am tired of everyone expecting me to have all the answers. I am tired of hating everything about myself.

I am not sure how much to share. I do not want to minimize my feelings and thoughts, but I do not want to over share and have the doc over react.

Ironically, I also think, what if they tell me it is all in my head ?

I have had bad experiences with docs who diagnose the trendy issues, medicate for the wrong problem, and who just didn't listen to what I said. So that is where most of my anxiety may be coming from, but I know I need to start this process.

I think you should print this out and read it word for word. It is raw, honest, intelligent, and solves your problem incredibly well.

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by Edahn

I think you should print this out and read it word for word. It is raw, honest, intelligent, and solves your problem incredibly well.

I think so too.

[Berries]

Originally Posted by Edahn

I think you should print this out and read it word for word. It is raw, honest, intelligent, and solves your problem incredibly well.

Please let us know what happens!
(is it a therapist or psychitrist, for meds, that you are seeing?)

[Tonny]

Well I survived, and did not get locked up !

Thanks everyone for all your support.

It went pretty good. He is a doc for meds and getting a 'real' diagnosis. He recommended someone to do the talk therapy with who specialized in BPD and depression. Usually they would just treat for depression and forget the other half of my issues. So maybe I can actually deal with all the issues and get the right med mix to not make it worse. Only time will tell. But this doc actually asked real questions and listened to my answers.

Right now it makes me feel a little hopefull and think the light at the end of the tunnel might just not be a train........

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Tonny

But this doc actually asked real questions and listened to my answers.

I'm so glad for you, Tonny! It's nice to know you're not going to be immediately squished into a favored pet Dx box.

Originally Posted by Tonny

Right now it makes me feel a little hopefull and think the light at the end of the tunnel might just not be a train........

LOL!

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by Tonny

Well I survived, and did not get locked up !

Thanks everyone for all your support.

It went pretty good. He is a doc for meds and getting a 'real' diagnosis. He recommended someone to do the talk therapy with who specialized in BPD and depression. Usually they would just treat for depression and forget the other half of my issues. So maybe I can actually deal with all the issues and get the right med mix to not make it worse. Only time will tell. But this doc actually asked real questions and listened to my answers.

Right now it makes me feel a little hopefull and think the light at the end of the tunnel might just not be a train........

So happy for your visit, glad that it what well. I find that the more open we are the more they can help us. Remember take care of yourself first, we are not strong enough to help others unless we do. Good luck and Job Well Done. Be proud or yourself for moving forwards. I know I am proud of you. Hugs for your day.

[Edahn]

So what'd you end up saying?

[Berries]

Originally Posted by Tonny

Well I survived, and did not get locked up !

Thanks everyone for all your support.

It went pretty good. He is a doc for meds and getting a 'real' diagnosis. He recommended someone to do the talk therapy with who specialized in BPD and depression. Usually they would just treat for depression and forget the other half of my issues. So maybe I can actually deal with all the issues and get the right med mix to not make it worse. Only time will tell. But this doc actually asked real questions and listened to my answers.

GOOD FOR YOU! I'm so glad it went well.

Originally Posted by Tonny

Right now it makes me feel a little hopefull and think the light at the end of the tunnel might just not be a train........

YES LOL. Good one!!

[*freak*]

Glad to hear it went well