shadow

idontknow13 · Aug 26, 2009, 08:30 AM

I feel like I am a shadow of my former self, sometimes feel like a vegetable waiting to be plucked from the earth. I feel I am useless, a nothing.
I am having real difficulty understanding how an independant woman who raised 2 daughters by herself, worked at a stressful job, battled with alcoholism and depression and survived can turn into this thing which just takes up room in this universe. How can this happen?
Is there really a way out???
Shadows are not real, they are just a reflection, a reflection of what, who???

Naturefreak · Aug 26, 2009, 10:35 AM

(((idontknow13)))

Sometimes no matter what we have to say will help.
You feel so down , so useless , so invisible , or whatever .
But you are still reaching out , and that is a good thing.
I just want you to know that I do care and I wish I had
the answers , but I have trouble just getting out of bed.
The only thing that I look forward to , at this point in my life ,
is coming here to try and make a difference , and I hope I'm doing that . I may not be , but it keeps me going just thinking I might.
Sending you many Hugs

And wishing you only the best.

Rohag · Aug 26, 2009, 11:13 AM

I feel like I am a shadow of my former self - Me too.

like a vegetable - I liken myself to a mushroom.

How can this happen? - I can go over the history of my own decline in my mind and speculate about the causes of that decline, but speculation is all I have.

Is there really a way out??? - People have recovered and returned to productive lives; such has eluded me. No guarantee exists knowing the answer to "How can this happen?" would yield an answer to "Is there really a way out?"

Idontknow, may you find your way out. More than that, I hope you find a way to embrace your real value regardless of how the rest of the world measures value or productivity.

Quote:

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." - Albert Einstein

Pomegranate · Aug 26, 2009, 11:52 AM

Have you read the Desiderata (my version) lately?

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own life, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in all your affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of character to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with life (or god),
whatever you conceive it to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

To be honest I often do not feel that the world, or rather humankind is so beautiful. Except when I'm here at PC. You don't have to "DO" anything to BE worthwile. Simply being you is a gift to those who can see it. People here who simply take the time to read and respond or "profile hop" with small messages of joy or concern mean so much to me, help me so much. If you couldn know how much, you would not feel "worthless." You are not worthless. To paraphrase someone else here, none of us wanted to be in "our group" here, but together we are stronger and healthier than we are alone. Don't discount what a smile or a few kind, caring words can mean for another who is suffering as much as you are. And I care and am so sorry you are suffering.

*freak* · Aug 26, 2009, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by idontknow13

I feel like I am a shadow of my former self

I know that feeling very well. I have used "shadow" as my nickname for ages on the internet...

I don't have any answer to any of your questions. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone

Take care of yourself

depressedalaskan · Aug 26, 2009, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by idontknow13

I feel like I am a shadow of my former self, sometimes feel like a vegetable waiting to be plucked from the earth. I feel I am useless, a nothing.
I am having real difficulty understanding how an independant woman who raised 2 daughters by herself, worked at a stressful job, battled with alcoholism and depression and survived can turn into this thing which just takes up room in this universe. How can this happen?
Is there really a way out???
Shadows are not real, they are just a reflection, a reflection of what, who???

Why is it that depression can take and keep taking? I too had the world by the b***s and now it is all gone. What can we really do to get it back, ourselves back? I so want to be part of living again. Hugs for your day.

Fuzzybear · Aug 27, 2009, 05:10 PM

((((((((((((((((( idontknow )))))))))))))))))

darkpurplesecrets · Aug 27, 2009, 05:39 PM

((((idontknow13))))

Sorry you are feeling so worthless. I know the feeling as that is how I feel right now. But know you are not worthless. Your being here and your caring and support of others tells me you are so worthy.

You always give even when you think you are empty. Your words ring out with an understanding of where you are and what you feel. Depression lies to us and it takes whoever it will at any given time without any notice.

You are not worthless. You are important. A person. Someone who hurts but still reaches out in the midst of it all. I know how you feel and you have every right to your feelings. But please know we are listening. And WE CARE.

Sending you gentle hugs, loving thoughts, and understanding. Thank you for sharing.

dps

Elysium · Aug 27, 2009, 10:15 PM

(((((IDK13)))))

I can empathize with this "shadow" feeling...

The only difference I have is that I feel like a shadow of someone I do not know. I don't know who my formal self is/was. All I know is that I am this shadow that absorbs light and energy and sucks air and steals it from others that need it more than I.

Sorry...not trying to make my issues worse than yours. There really isn't anything worse than feeling like your own shadow....regardless if whether you feel you know who you once were.

Sorry....I'm rambling....just know I'm with you now.

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