[AceDarren]

I found out this morning that my grandmother, one of my best friends, had died.
I can't help thinking about the moments we've spent together and although I have heard this is supposed to make things better it is not, it's just making me sadder and sadder.
Depression hit me hard when I found out, and I'm surprised at myself for even getting to the computer today. I'm shaking all over and keep making typing mistakes that I have to go back and fix. My back feels like it just had a 300 pound weight dropped on it. I also broke down earlier when voices began penetrating my mind. Not a good time for that. I worked myself out of that but depression is still here.
And now my cousin is coming over my house to sleep over tonight since he found out. How on earth is that a way to go about this? What are we going to do here, sit around and distract ourselves? I wish no one would come over my house for three days, especially not my parents.
I did not know if I should have put this in "Grief" or "Depression" but I decided on this one because I'm so profoundly depressed right now.

I'm sorry, I know there is nothing anyone can do about it, I just needed to get it out to people who will care, because apparently the people I have been calling my "friends" around where I live are stuck in their own microcosmic universes and can't think of anything but themselves. Thank you.

(AceDarren) Im so sorry for your loss
with grief comes some depression
tc of you and i hope things get better in time i know

[Rohag]

I'm so sorry, AceDarren, for your loss of a dear friend. Though it saddens you greatly now, may her memory sustain you and example inspire you throughout your life.

Grieve well.

[depressedalaskan]

(((((AceDarren))))) Very sorry for you lose, I know how you feel. My father was my best friend and I lost him years ago. I still miss him very much and I always will.

Having family over is a good idea even if you don't think so.

Remembering the good times that you had with your grandmother is what you will have for the rest of your life. No one will ever be able to take these memories away. I know that it is hard right now but enjoy those memories.

Many many hugs for your day.

[*freak*]

I'm verry sorry for your loss... I'll be keeping you in my thoughts

[AceDarren]

Thank you all so much for your support.
One thing I am happy about is that I called her the night before she passed, and took her out to dinner a few days earlier.
If I hadn't I think this would be a lot harder.
Thank you again.

[lynn09]

So very, very sorry for your loss, AceDarren. Grief is often a big part of depression - loss of loved ones, relationships, hopes, aspirations - any loss must be grieved - it's a process. Your sorrow right now is completely appropriate, but it won't last forever. In time, you will be able to revisit all of the wonderful memories you have about your grandmother and be grateful that you were priviledged to know her, to have her in your life, even if only for a little while. That's all we get to have of anyone in this life, and all that anyone gets to have of us, as well - just a little while - that's why the time we spend with others is so very precious. Allow yourself to grieve - allow yourself to go through the process - after the night, comes the dawn.