Why cant i do anything right?

Feeling down lately because sonetimes i feel like i cant do anything right. What do you do when you feel like your failing at stuff?

((((feelingsad))))

But you are doing something right. You came here and you reached out and you told us how you are feeling. And I know that is tough, but you did it. Reaching out and talking about how you feel is how we make it through. One little step at a time.

When I feel like I am failing at stuff, I come here and read and support others. By supporting others, I am helping myself. And if I can say even one word that might reach someone who is hurting----then I know I have not failed at everything.

It is hard some days as I feel like a failure and like I do not matter. But when all I can do is get out of bed, then I have done something and have not failed. Making through one day is doing something that is not a failure.

I know how you are feeling and I am sorry you are feeling so low. But know that you have taken the first step to doing something to make it better----you took a chance and reached out. That is not a failure in my book. That is being strong.

Please keep reaching out and let us know how you are doing. Know that we care and are here for you when it is tough and when it is good. We care. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts.

dps

When I was so dysfunctional to perform simple tasks I would make lists. Lists of short term goals, lists of long term goals. But more importantly there would be the daily list of what I wanted to accomplish. I didn't make much progress but if I had checked off my daily list that I had fed my son and my animals then I would rationalize that I had done the most important tasks and try to find some comfort in that. No I wasn't able to pay the utility bills, or make a phone call to school to advocate for my son, or even refill my meds. So the utilities were turned off numerous times and I would go days and days without my meds. I was bummed that I couldn't do what seemed so simple but in my emotional state it wasn't really so simple after all. I like looking back at my lists and notes on what I was feeling over the previous years and I can seem some progress. Slow difficult progress but moving in the right direction is good even if it did take me years. Today I am still pretty dysfunctional. I still have a long way to go if I am going to accomplish my short and long term goals. I keep trying and still now there are days that feeding the crew is all I can do. It is terribly frustrating but I tell myself that anybody who has lived through the horror that was my life would be dysfunctional too.

Come here It just seems like we are , because we tell ourselves we are. Hugs

Outstanding advice!

In my mind I try to separate the feelings of failing and the actuality of failing. It may or may not help your feelings of failing to attempt to analyze just exactly where and how much you are falling short of either your own expectations or the expectations of others - which is another point: just exactly whom are you "failing" and is it really "failure?"

But, trying to do analysis while overcome by emotions is difficult or impossible, and probably inadvisable; too easy to draw the wrong conclusions.

FeelingSad, I suspect you can do plenty of things right, but Depression is hiding them from view. May the fog lift soon!

Rohag makes an excellent point, FeelingSad!

I wonder how much your feelings of failure is your depression talking and telling you lies and how much is reality.

Try not to listen to depression as hard as that is! For me it is a never ever ending battle so I come here to PC and post what is going on in my head and my PC friends tell me what are lies depression is telling me and it sets me straight!!! At least until the next time. But that's OK. The next time, even if it's the next day, the next hour sometimes, I come back here and do it all over again and no one here ever, ever gets tired of it.

(((((((((((FeelingSad)))))))))))

I wanted to suggest the same thing
Take care

Oh, FeelingSad - why would you want to do everything right the first time? How boring life would be. We are "human" beings, not "perfect" beings - our very definition is being imperfect (that's why pencils have erasers, why white-out was invented). We must have challenges in order to learn, grow, gain strength, and to develop empathy, compassion, and concern for our fellow flawed humans. Our lives are made up of choices and decisions, and we are gifted with the ability to change course, change our minds, rectify our errors. Learn to just say "Oops!" and move on taking with you whatever wisdom you have gained from your mis-steps. It is what you learn from your mistakes that keeps you moving through life and gives you the ability to lend a helping hand to others. Cherish your mistakes - they help bind the tapestry of your life together and help to keep you moving forward as long as you focus on where you are going from that point onward instead of staying bogged down in the mistake itself. Go on - get along, now.

I need say nothing here - everyone has answered this very well - I agree. Hugs to all.

(((((((((((((((( FeelingSad ))))))))))))))))

Thanks guys ! Means alot. Focusing on something else though reminds me how im failing at stuff

I want to help. But I don't know how. Help me?

Why does focusing on something else remind you how you are failing?

Aw Thanx Berries. Its Because I have a close friend that i want to help and dont know how. Sometimes I feel like I maybe make things worse by words or actions.

Even if you don't know the "right words" to say or the "right thing" to do, just letting your friend know how much you care about them and are willing to stand beside them and support them is a lot of help in and of itself. Don't diminish your importance just because you can't produce an immediate "fix" for them. It's a wonderful thing that despite your own pain and suffering you still want to reach out to help another. Many hugs!

Thanks! You have no idea how your words help. I know i need to take care of me first to be able to help someone just hard seeing him sad or s truggling . Sometimes if i feel i messed up i feel like a loser

I know that feeling... very frustrating

I don't know the situation, so I have no real advice... The only thing I can say is: never give up on your friend. Keep trying... Sometimes you'll make it worse, other times you'll make it better. Hopefully, you'll figure out what exactly you have to do to help, eventually. And even if there is nothing you can do... be there for your friend.

I wish you the best of luck

There is no easy answer for this. I have the same problem. Some suggest to make a list of good things in our lives, the count your blessings idea but it is difficult to do when down. I am sure you can do a lot of things right.

Aw you guys are awesome. I cant talk to people in rl about this cause they will just tell me to stop being a baby so i love to come here. Its even harder because i dont see my friend as much so i miss him and cry alot

((((((((FeelingSad))))))))


Hugs and good thoughts for you.

I have found this a great place to share and find understanding.

Thanks Tonny everyone here is very understanding been crying alot today and everyone has given me advice i love everyone here!

I cant thank everyone enough. Not seeing my friend so much is hard for me and you all care so much.

((FeelingSad)) ...there's a difference between not doing anything right, and not doing everything perfect! You can do everything right and it still won't seem perfect! Go easy on yourself, friend!

Peace,
Julia
xox