Triggered by happiness

Had a fun night last night. Got together with friends. Hubby was funny and affectionate. I felt like I was acting "normal" even though not feeling all the way there, and was proud of myself for it. Then I got home and thoughts came flooding in about all the other times I'd felt that way only to have friends leave or hurt me. Or have hubby shut down. Today it's me shutting down. I don't believe the fun last night was real. I feel like it was a dream and that the friends I was with aren't really my friends. I'm just a project for them, a charity case. But because I felt so good last night, it makes today feel so much worse. Anyone know what I'm talking about or am I just rambling?

((((Tumnus)))) For one I am not a doctor but from what you wrote and how I read it. It sounds to me like depression is just not wanting you to have a good time. Be happy you had a good time and do it again and again. Do not let depression override your happiness. Once again I am not a doctor. Hugs for your day. And Job Well Done!!! for having a good time.

I think that I can understand what you're saying/feeling. I have felt that way, and do feel that way, at times.

Maybe it's because it's so hard to put ourselves out there, while depression likes to make us stay isolated, and then we actually have fun...yet we can't help but think of all of the times we've been burned by "friends" or loved one's when we've let our guard down. Maybe we're used to the "bad" times always following the few good times that we have, and it's hard to stay happy then?

I don't know if what I'm saying makes any sense or not. My tired brain has a hard time working right now

I hope that you feel better, and that you can go have more fun times and enjoy them at the time and afterwards.

Hello, Tumnus! You raise what I feel is an important question: "Why do elevated moods sometimes trigger depressed moods in some percentage of depressives?" I have had similar experiences. One day or hour I will experience as much excitement as my meds will let me, and then the next day or hour I'll "pay for it" with low mood, again, as low as my meds will allow.

I speculate this may have something to do with brain chemistry. Our moods and emotions affect and are affected by what's percolating in the old grey matter. It may be that in the aftermath of "excitement" the chemical mix returns to "normal" (normal for us) and we experience withdrawal, which manifests as increased depression. I don't know.

Tumnus, I'm sorry you experience this. You're not alone.

It happens to me, too. Whatever causes it, it bites.
((((((((((((((((Tumnus))))))))))))))))))))

(((((Tumnus))))))
I understand what you are going through and although it has'nt happened to me in quite a while (feeling remotely happy) , it used to and in my case I think it might have been guilt or fear of the unknown, not being used to feeling happy. I dont know if this makes any sense but I hope you regain a bit of that happiness you felt last night

I think so. I had a great afternoon yesterday. I saw a great play. Then when it was over, I got depressed and anxious and just plain miserable and was MAD--why couldn't the good feelings LAST??????

Yeah, I hear you. I've been mad all day. Grouchy, irritable. Couldn't wait to leave work. Work couldn't wait for me to leave work, my mood was that tangible.

Everyone, thanks all for your responses. Too blah to respond to all.

What you said, Rohag, makes a lot of sense. So frustrating. *Sigh*