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#1
Sep 21, 2009, 09:43 PM
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I just hate myself sometimes. A little bit of a reason why: Our house is a mess. No one cleans up, no one does anything, and that includes me. My room is full of crap, it's a complete mess and I can't stand being in there. Every other room in the house is the same. It makes me so stressed, so depressed. We've tried cleaning but it doesn't stay that way for long...
And my family gets fast food every night, even though I'm already a fat cow. I'll never be pretty, I'll never be normal, and sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try to pretend I'm fine, I'll never be okay. 
__________________
 Let the shadow prove The sunshine. |
 ADHD1956, lynn09
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#2
Sep 22, 2009, 12:57 AM
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   Sometimes (((Yesterdays))), if you look at the whole thing at once it's just too overwhelming - so much needs to be done, you can't even see where to start or how to keep up. Try breaking it down into little bitty pieces - pick one thing, and do just that, like put all the magazines in one pile, sort the laundry (maybe just whites only), etc. I have a number of chronic medical conditions, as well as depression, and I used to just clean one room each night after work. Sometimes I didn't get the entire room done - just picked one thing, and the next day picked another thing. I am disabled now and keeping up is quite a challenge - but I do the same thing. If I feel myself starting to get overwhelmed, I just walk away for a bit - have a cup of tea, distract myself for a few minutes, then try to approach it again. Don't beat up on yourself - many times the chaos of our things is a reflection of the chaos in our minds and lives - makes you feel out of control. Exert control over little bits at a time so that you are getting that sense of control and satisfaction for every little thing you do.
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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| ADHD1956, lonegael, Yesterdays
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#3
Sep 22, 2009, 10:55 AM
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 with Lynn. Breaking things down into smaller, managable portions, tasks, or amounts of time is very helpful. I use this coping skill all the time. I often break my day into hours to keep myself focused in the here and now. Then I just do what I can do, one thing at time. And I don't judge myself - I know I'm doing the best I can any given day, that's all that matters. I hope you start feeling better soon.
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 I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free.  But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings."
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| ADHD1956, lynn09, VickiesPath, Yesterdays
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#4
Sep 22, 2009, 01:19 PM
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Quote:
Motivation seems like a forgein concept when you are depressed. (I've had to learn more about it with the fact I am ADHD, and if something is not interesting to me, I have no interest or motivation to do it)  It's hard to find the energy to do or care about it. There are times where I have just had to get through the "next 10 minutes" let alone try to plan ahead! But as you do manage to get parts done, you will feel better and keep moving forward!  Good luck, hang in there and know that we understand and have been there and support you (OOH! Run-on sentance!)
__________________
I am not a medical or mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just talk kinda like one!  Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light! They say I have A.D.D. but I think they are full off...  Oh look! A CHICKEN! Be careful how you look at the world, it may look back!  How do you want to be seen? |
| ADHD1956, lynn09, Yesterdays
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#5
Sep 22, 2009, 01:55 PM
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Yesterdays, I can relate! My room particularly is a huge giant mess and it overwhelms me SO much! I know I need to tidy it and I WANT to tidy it but then I look at it and think "argh!".
The rest of my house is fairly messy, too. We've been that way for a long time, since I was young. I'm not sure of a solution, I mean, cleaning it is obviously the solution but when there's that much stuff it seems impossible, it's so overwhelming. But I don't know how to get the motivation, that's what you really need. I do know, however, that you and your family will feel so much better once it's tidied up a bit. Maybe the key to keeping it tidy is to add more storage? More shelves, cupboards etc if it's possible?? Can you perhaps convince your family to have home cooked food more often? Maybe even offer to cook it yourself. They will save soo much money and be so much healthier! Or maybe if they still want take out you could buy your own food and eat separately? Good luck, I hope you sort things out x |
| lynn09, Yesterdays
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#6
Sep 22, 2009, 05:08 PM
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I really appreciate your replies, guys. They were all really helpful. I managed to clean my room today! I'm actually really proud of myself for finally getting it done. I still have a few more things to get done in there, but I'm still really happy that I did what I got done already. I've been feeling a bit better today, and your replies made me feel even better. Thank you for the support
__________________
Let the shadow prove The sunshine. |
| lynn09
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#7
Sep 22, 2009, 05:53 PM
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Quote:
YAY!!!!!!
__________________
I am not a medical or mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just talk kinda like one! Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light! They say I have A.D.D. but I think they are full off... Oh look! A CHICKEN! Be careful how you look at the world, it may look back! How do you want to be seen? |
| lynn09
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#8
Sep 22, 2009, 06:22 PM
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Quote:
 Good job, Yesterdays.
__________________
I love your faults because they are part of you and I love you. --my BFF [center][b][color=#92d050][font=Verdana] |
| lynn09
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#9
Sep 22, 2009, 06:25 PM
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Wow, congrats!!!!
Ahh, I love that feeling of new, clean room! You feel so proud and accomplished, right? Wow, I might have to take a leaf out of your book and do the same! (hmm but can't be bothered  )I'm sure your room was messy but if it can be tidied in a day don't worry, it can't have been TOO messy. My room literally takes days when I finally decide to clean it, usually. Not this time cos it's just clean clothes on the floor, but other times. I hope this can keep your mood up for a little while. The only task is trying to keep it kinda clean now, which can be a problem but I guess you just have to make sure you put things in drawers etc? Oh, I'm so terrible at that. Especially taking clothes off at bedtime, it's like they're drawn to the floor! |
| lynn09
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#10
Sep 22, 2009, 06:43 PM
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Quote:
Maybe we should start hosting room cleaning parties!
__________________
I am not a medical or mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just talk kinda like one! Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light! They say I have A.D.D. but I think they are full off... Oh look! A CHICKEN! Be careful how you look at the world, it may look back! How do you want to be seen? |
| lynn09
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#11
Sep 22, 2009, 06:47 PM
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Haha, sounds like a good idea!!
Maybe we could just make sure we post here (or make a new thread?) on days that we've done something productive, like cleaning or changing sheets! Not that I would often have anything to contribute to it, I've let my room get way out of hand and have no energy to even look at it! PS. I think it's fine if you get to bed tonight and then change your sheets tomorrow.
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| lynn09, Yesterdays
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#12
Sep 22, 2009, 08:06 PM
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Quote:
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| lynn09
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#13
Sep 22, 2009, 08:09 PM
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All I can say is that I understand. I know that's much help. I think you should be proud for cleaning your room. Well done.
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| lynn09, Yesterdays
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#14
Sep 22, 2009, 08:35 PM
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Thank you, everyone
__________________
Let the shadow prove The sunshine. |
| lynn09
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#15
Sep 23, 2009, 10:13 AM
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Yesterdays, I'd like to add a word about storage. There are times when storage is the problem.
But storage is not always my problem. Example: I needed some storage next to the recliner from which I teach, mostly online, due to arthritis pain. I got some sturdy egg crates, and I sewed padded covers so that they did not look like egg crates. Their number went from one to 2 to 3. Yet, there was still a mess of papers all around the exterior of the egg crates. Recently, I went through unused stuff, got the egg crates down to 2 with room in one of them for extra papers. Haha, within five weeks there is now a mess of paper around the exterior of the two egg crates. The messiness seems to be due to the way I think, I guess.
__________________
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| lynn09, Yesterdays
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#16
Sep 23, 2009, 03:55 PM
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You cleaned your WHOLE ROOM!!?? Wow. Way to go. But please go easy on yourself and remember when you become overwhelmed to break things down into smaller steps.
Good for you!!!!! 
__________________
I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free. But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings."
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| lynn09, Yesterdays
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#17
Sep 23, 2009, 04:11 PM
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Way to go, ((((Yesterdays))))! If you fall behind again, don't beat yourself up - it is my understanding that it takes about 3 weeks for us humans to establish a new "habit" - so give yourself time to figure out what works for you - besides, with depression it's difficult to maintain consistency. I just LOVED what Wants2Fly said about "storage."  I have a cardboard box that I throw all my mail, catalogs, print outs, paperwork, etc., into - my "Inbox." I deliberately do not decorate mine though - I leave it an ugly, drab cardboard box and leave it sitting in the floor in my way so I have to constantly step over or around it - eventually, I'll get so annoyed trying to avoid it, that I will actually go through it and get things sorted out and I can finally hide the empty box in my closet!! LOL!Anyway, congratulations on exerting some control on your chaos - well done!! 
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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| Yesterdays
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