Emotions at wrong times... May trigger.

Recently my neighbor died. She was a very sweet elderly lady that I had known for over 12 years. I went to her funeral and it was the first time that I had been to one and not cried. I felt awful that I didn't. I just sat there with all the other crying people and felt nothing.

The next day I watched The Notebook and cried through the last hour of it and I still tear up whenever I think of it. I can't talk about it without getting emotional. I can't listen to people talk about it with out getting emotional. It does hit on my greatest fear which is getting older and not being able to remember my life. But still, it's a movie.

It just blows my mind that I'm emotionless when it comes to my neighbor and over emotional over a movie.

I don't know what to do.

I know how you feel. I am the same way sometimes. I didn't cry at some funerals, but I do cry at some other things like books or movies that relate to my life quite a lot. I used to feel guilty too. Now, I realize its better to cry when you need to or you really feel like it, not just because everyone else does. At least i gives me a chance to acknowledge my emotions and why I cry at all.

Please dont beat youself up about this. I went to my grandmothers funeral back in November and I do not recall shedding a tear at the wake or burial. I did cry when I first learned of her death. I cried after her death. I think for me, I was trying to be strong for my mom, kids and sister, who were all extremely upset.
I also watched the movie the Notebook. I am with you on this one. I cried the last hour, I cry talking about it and I cry if anyone else talks about it. The movie touched my heart.
Dont be so hard on yourself. Sometimes, it takes time for for our feelings to catch up with us. Take care

Sorry to hear this, but remember there are no rules of grieveing, and things do not come in a specific sequence, everyone is different. You may never cry about this loss, and then again it just may come on you when you least expect it. This is quite natural/normal. There are stages of grieving, they are not always the same or time limited.
Some are emotions of denial, acceptance, anger, and saddness.
Time is our best friend during this period. . .part of life, I found that it helps, not that it minimizes one's sadness but helps towards coping with lose, leading us to the acceptance stage. I do not like that I have lost loveed ones, but my acceptance of it has helped me carry on, keeping the deceased alive in my memories.
Just my 2 cents.

Sincerely,

DE