[faustjg]

In my house, I am the only creative person. So im always getting into arguments with my mom because I have a messy room, since the rest of the house is neater than a dojo. There aren't even accessories and decorations. Its just furniture and lamps. But I knit, sew, bake, paint, and I do pretty much everything creative. And all of my supplies are in my room along with my personal things. So I have boxes and bags full of stuff so my room looks like a storage room, which is ok with me. At least I know where everything is. But my mom has always insisted I throw my stuff away because it looks disgusting and unladylike. She even tells me men will never want me because im messy and disorganized! And today she stood in front of my room at 7am yelling that if I don't throw my stuff away she's gonna do it for me. She even said she'll go out and buy garbage bags. I don't know what to do. I don't wanna disrespect her, but im close to tears. What did I do to deserve this? I always did what she said. But I can't do this.

[faustjg]

Well, at least she left the house so im alone for a while. I just need to clear my head and think about a mature way to handle this, I guess.

[lynn P.]

Is there another room in the house or area in your basement that can be for your arts and crafts. That way you can clear all of that out of your room. You could also get plastic storage bins that slide under your bed or stack them in the closet. I like the separate room idea. Sorry you're stressed.

[faustjg]

No its an apartment. No room anywhere. There's a closet in the hall but if I put it there she might throw it out. I don't wanna risk it. Its no wonder that im so paranoid all the time.

[Briester]

Hi faustjg,

Firstly it really seems like your mother is frustrated with something else besides you and is taking that frustration out on the one person who she'll know will take it. People don't have to be so organized but then some are and they have a difficult time understanding how there could be "organization in disorganization." I did this for a long time and in one room of my house now I still do that I'm working on it. (new baby gets into EVERYTHING)

I'm not quite sure what the resolution to your issue with her is aside from Lynn's suggestion to get some plastic organizers which could make things neater looking. Do you have any space under your bed, or in your closet where you could stack some things?

As for her comments about being "unladylike" and men not wanting you, etc. IMO honestly I feel that that's rubbish. People have their own style and don't have to be ladylike or anything and speaking from a man's perspective, we don't even really care and anyone you end up with needs to love and care about you just for YOU and not how organized or disorganized you may seem.

I hope you can get it straightened out with her and you can get some peace.

Best wishes,
Chris

[lonegael]

Oh, how that sounds like the fights I used to get into with my mom. I hope that you two can talk about it when you are both calm and work out some kind of compromise. In our case, it just got way to infected for that.