[Berries]

I know I have a few good people in my life— a good T and a good mom. I know I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I know people bend over backwards here at PC to help and support me. And I appreciate all of it.
But I can’t hold on to it for more than a few minutes at a time. Then it is back to feeling depressed and lonely and scared. And the thoughts consume me.
There is no ME. I am just a big glob of DEPRESSION and OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS.
There isn’t anything I’m interested in. I have no hobbies. I am dumb and lazy. And scared of people.

[jensasweetie]

Oh sweetie (((((berries))))...I am sorry you feel that way. I don't have any answers per se but I know what you are saying.....

Huggs

Jen

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( Berries )))))))))))))))))

[lonegael]

(((((Berries))))) You might think you are dumb and lazy. Anyone who is depressed goes through that, but your feeling that way DOES NOT MAKE IT REAL.

I went through years, whether I was actively depressed or not, thinking what yoou are thinking. Good things, successes, bravery, what ever I amanged that was right just did not stick, even when I held the proof in my hands. I was too focussd on making things fit my negative view of myself. It had simply become "me", but a very unrealistic "me".

Half the truth is a lie. And I am willing to bet that all that negative stuff is only a tiny piece of you, Berries. Which means that reducing all of you to that is a dishonest trick of your depression. Take care of that wonderful you.OK? It'll be hard till it gets better, but we will be here.

[idontknow13]

((((((Berries))))))
I understand what you are going through but better days will come for you, I was where you are not too long ago and I feel much better these days although I am cautious.
Take good care of yourself Berries, you are important and you are not dumb and lazy

[justfloating]

((((((((((Berries))))))))))))


I know those feelings all too well. It's almost impossible for me to hang onto the good stuff sometimes because I've already got my hands full with depression. You may not believe it right now but you're not dumb and lazy. You are a good, kind, caring person and a lot of us here at PC would be a lot worse off without all the comfort and kindness you've shown us. Take good care of yourself, you deserve it!

[jacq10]

(((((((((((((Berries)))))))))))))
You're in there... its just hard to see sometimes
Someone once told me that the good you see in other people is a reflection of yourself. So when you are feeling like this, maybe you can take comfort in the fact that you can see other people as beautiful, and thus, in amongst the overwhelming feelings of depression and self-loathing, is someone good.
You are more than what you think you are.

Jacqueline

[CK23]

@ Berries... I have had the same feelings that you experience so i knowwhere you are coming from... You know when i think about stuff i say well i have a nice laptop, a dsl connection, places to visit, t.v shows to watch, good education... and there are people who say 'Be positive' and you will view your life differently... but those people dont know... i say this cos such people havent had depression... to them being positive is like turning on a light switch... and for someone whose had bad experiences, someone whose been trying to make their life better and never finding it easy it is NOT possible to just switch gear and be positive... So Berries i think you should certainly not feel isolated in this cos there are other people who feel the same way as you... You should keep sharing here and never hesitate to write...