[wonderboy]

Hi,
I got into some serious depression when i found that i had some miscalculations chasing my life goals.

I was actually planning to do masters after undergrad, but essentially found that it was a wrong plan. That was a surprise, as I was blind in the idea of having masters and done the things in an inferior way thinking of two more "college years" under masters...that i am away from my plans now to work towards a freelancing career.. which left me in depression..

After some months, i started catching up on my life goals, had deep thought again on how and what i am gonna do next six months and got fixed on those and started chasing. As i tried, I had even greater pain as i couldn't find my old rigor on my studies, As soon as i start reading the book, my mind will get distorted by so many silly stuffs.

What essentially makes me even more disturbed during studies, is a constant, un-reasoned sadness in the heart as if there is some weight on my chest. Which nowadays, i try to evacuate it taking deep breaths and meditation.

I don't have any confusion towards my career plan and as i see i don't have any worries regarding what i am doing now. But still this un-reasoned pain affects me much, making me seriously un-productive, when i should be on war-foots to catch up on my life goals. so Often, i'll take a deep breath, meditation and a deep thought on what is worrying me!! and will think over and over about my plans and what i am going to do and how i am going to do and why am doing this. All ok and perfect but the weight on the chest remains! . Doing exercise and meditation on a regular basis i think i am having reduced weights on my chest these days. But still i am not yet productive as i could be.

Am i seriously lacking something? or i should just proceed doing regular exercises, deep breaths and meditation and ofcourse along with my studies? ;-)

Thanks for your time!

((wonderboy) welcome to pc...
If your depression keeps going with no let up seeing a Dr is always good
Doing exercise and meditation is great ...glad that is helping
breathing is good
take care of you

[justfloating]

hi wonderboy, welcome to PC

I went through something much the same as what you're going through. Depression hit me and made me almost completely incapable of studying. What I found help was talking to one of the counsellors in our student support office. It could be that that weight on your chest will lift if you really talk things through with someone. Most universities have student support counsellors in place to talk to students and help them through their problems.

I also agree with muffy. If the depression persists, it's probably a good idea to see a doctor, either to get help with your depression or to rule out any other physical causes for the way you're feeling. I'm glad you're breathing and meditating, it's very good for you!

Good luck. I hope you keep us posted on how you're doing.

[trevorzero]

It's clear that you are dealing with many unresolved issues. You are engaging in self-sabotage as a way to force your conscious mind to deal with your underlying problems. You are actually quite conflicted at this point in your life.

A T is probably a good idea, along with some intense soul-searching.