My sanity score was 144. It said that there are 10 areas that I seriously think about getting help from professional.

I never seem to get better with talking therapy.
I do have an appointment this week but I picture myself dragging there.
I don't want to waste my money for parking.

I am thinking about all the excuses.
may be because I ended up spending $500 on parking tickets this month.
Yes, it's true.

I am so depressed, I don't want to do anything.
I've been in bed for months.
anytime I have a chance I go to bed and try to sleep.
I am telling myself that I am sleepy all the time so I don't have to feel or deal with anything. Of course I do have nightmares.

as I am writing this... yes, I do need help but I don't want to get help
because I feel so lazy, I just want to stay in bed and sleep.

I do talk to people but a lot of them are going through so much right now
I can't really talk to them about me.

oh well, actually I can just talk to anyone but I am not doing it
because whenever I have problems, I tend to keep them inside me
and try to ignore them and think that it will just go away eventually.

It worked when I was young but not anymore.

at least I am writing about it...

I don't know...

I know I need help but I don't want to.
am I being stubborn about this? or what?!!!

May be I am still thinking I can handle all the pains
well I think I am so used being in pain all the time. I feel like I'll never get better.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Thetimeis944!

Originally Posted by Thetimeis944

I never seem to get better with talking therapy.

Discouraging, but that's my experience as well. How often have you tried talk therapy? Your opinion of your therapists? (No need to answer to anyone.)

For what it's worth, I wouldn't call it "stubbornness" when you just plain don't have any energy (common in depression) and your previous experiences with therapy have not produced results. You may not yet have found the right therapist, but what resources do you have to go searching? Maybe you need a whole new set of ideas.

[twinmommy38]

I know it is hard to get help but it really is a good thing to do.

Do you have friends or family you could talk to?
Would a friend or family member ride with you to the Therapy appointment?

Being tired and desiring to sleep is sometimes a manifestation of something in your body that is "not right".

Some illnesses can cause you to feel that way.
It is not indicitive of lazieness.
It is always a good thing to make a doctor appointment for a physical.

Have you seen your family physician?

sending {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} let us know how you are doing. and Welcome.

Hi

Thanks for your reply

I know exactly what's causing my depression worse. I am under a lot of stress. emotionally and physically as well.

I am seeing 2 different physio therapist 3 times a week. I finally decided to see my P 2 weeks ago and I have another appointment this week.

I am ok with physio because I do have to get rid of my physical pain. but still it frustrates me a lot that I could be doing something else... such as going to the gym by myself and just work out I used to.

I am not eating much either. I used to eat so much under stress but now it's changed.
I like this way more especially I can't go to the gym at the moment.
I am not quite concerned about eating disorder. I don't think it's that serious.

I am avoiding going to work. of course it's affecting the business.
not quite concerned about financial issues either cuz it's ok for now I guess.

I do worry about my family and my friends. 2 are going through divorce and they call me a lot for help. I can't tell them not to call me becuase I just can't do that although it drains me a lot and definately give me more stress.

I don't have any motivation, no energy, not eating, sleeping or in bed all the time.
I stay in bed way too much I get a back aches.

No emotions, I like that.
nothing seems to make me feel happy or motivates me any longer.

I completely stopped doing everything...

and I don't want to talk about my problems any longer except on the internet.
I've just started to have some energy to do this. I haven't written for a while.

I am scared of doing a lot of things too.

I feel like I've done all the best I could with my life. and I just don't want to deal with anything anymore... pretty hopeless huh

When you go and talk to your P. you talk about what you are feeling, what you are going through. and I just get focused on negative things which makes me feel more depressed.

I don't even want to talk about any problems any longer.
I am sooooo tired of everything...
This is the most I can do for now.