Might be happier if you give up hope

[quote=zilchhour;1195408]In such moments as you have stated, I feel some part of me really dies inside, a part that could not bear the pain./quote]
Once after I was released from the hospital following one of my more horrible "allergic reactions" (which are always accompanied by unbelievable depressions), I told my pdoc/T that it felt as if something inside me had died. He just looked at me without even blinking and said, "Maybe it was something that needed to die so that you could continue to live."

Sometimes patients who have languished for a long time being limited and frail due to heart disease, have recovered rather miraculously when the diseased part of the heart finally dies. The rest of the heart muscles then pick up the slack and funciton quite well no longer dragged down by the diseased part that has died.

Perhaps sometimes the parts of our psyches that cannot bear the pain of our depression any longer must die in order for the rest of our selves to be stronger in order to survive. Perhaps sometimes it is unrealistic hopes that are dying - we release them and are better able then to focus on the realities of our situation and more realistic methods of dealing with it. Just a thought.

You are right lynn09...

Thanks for adding your thoughts.

Off topic for a moment....

Lynn09, you said something that confused me a bit and I wanted to ask you what you meant so I could better understand.

You said:
"Sometimes patients who have languished for a long time being limited and frail due to heart disease, have recovered rather miraculously when the diseased part of the heart finally dies. The rest of the heart muscles then pick up the slack and funciton quite well no longer dragged down by the diseased part that has died".

I know what your were saying was an analogy and perhaps I am simply taking it too literally. I dunno. I worked as a RN specializing in cardiac and thoracic trauma and hearts have long been a passion of mine. But it is true that I have not worked in ten years so I am not up to date. I have been reading journal articles trying to prepare to return to work but so much happens so fast in medicine that catching up is a daunting task.

But I digress... I understand how when the normal pacemaker cells die the lower pacing cells can take over and things can be fine but I don't quite understand the part where you said when the part of the heart dies the rest of the heart muscles pick up the slack. I have seen cardiac aneurysms resected with improvement in cardiac function and obviously things like faulty valves replaced with improvement but I am not following with what you meant. I kind of feel like I can't see the forest for the trees, ya know what I mean? But anyway as I have said I want to go back to work and am trying to learn all I can and wondered if you could explain to me what you meant. I know that some drugs can help the heart muscles pump better and such but have you ever felt like you should understand something but you don't and it just makes you loco trying to figure it out? That's me.

I hope I am not annoying you with my questions but at the moment the bulb in my brain has burned out.

You have to travel back in time for the origin of this analogy, Yoda; it is rooted in past medicine before medicine had achieved the current intricate knowledge at a time when a doctor would present an extremely oversimplified explanation of heart function to a patient and/or their family.

In this particular instance, Yoda, your advanced medical expertise comprises the trees that obscure this particular "primeval forest," so to speak. Good luck on your studies to catch up and resume your worthwhile career, Yoda - you have my highest admiration.

Ah, Lynn, thank you dear one.

My son says stuff all the time and I question him about it and he will say, mom, you're being too literal again.