These last days, I have been getting a feel for this place. There are a lot of hurting people here. A lot of very caring ones too. Frankly, I have some ambivalence. To get better requires a commitment. Sometimes, I need to be reminded; empathy alone will not due.

One of my therapists would tell me it is okay to have a pity party. Enjoy the party while it lasts, he would say, but remember, at some point the party must end so we can get on with the business of increasing your level of functioning. Notice, the therapist did not say we would be fixing or curing anything.

This therapist asked me to envision what my life would be like if I were better. I mussitated awhile but really did not have an answer. So, the therapist asked me some questions and gave me some exercises to do.

He asked: What are your values? What do you value most in your life? How would you like to be remembered? My task was think about these questions, provide answers and state the thought processes that lead up to them. The idea, of course, was to give me something to shoot for.

One day, the therapist asked me to imagine a door. On the other side of that door was the life I envisioned, he said. To be able to walk through that door, I needed to be willing to take the risk, recognize there will always be challenges and have faith in myself. The thought scared me more than a little bit.

To ameliorate my fears, the therapist helped me establish mini goals. Each mini goal was intended as a means to build confidence while bringing me closer to the life I envisioned, the macro goal.

I cannot say I am living the life I envisioned. I can say my level of functioning is higher. There are periods when I do quite well; and otherwise. For me the key is to do. Many times it matters not what, as long as I do something. To do nothing but be depressed about being depressed is so tragic.

What is your vision for a better life? Do you have a plan?

Mussitate: verb -- mumble, mutter, maunder, mussitate -- (talk indistinctly; usually in a low voice)

• talk, speak, utter, mouth, verbalize, verbalise -- (express in speech; "He talks a lot of nonsense"; "This depressed patient does not verbalize'' )

[Briester]

TheByzantine...while I agree with your thought that to get better requires motivation and action to do so and I also believe that meditating on these types of questions and making baby steps (no pun intended babysteps) is a good way to start, I would re-emphasize that although this may work for you to think this way, that sometimes people just don't have the right thoughts in their minds at the moment to do the same and that it might not work as well for others.

It sounds like your therapist, as per usual, is working through CBT with you which I think is a great idea and can really work if you're at the point of being able to actually engage in it. An issue is though that it doesn't work for everyone in the same circumstances. For example, for many Borderline patients, DBT has been shown to be effective where CBT is not. Depression is often part of a BPD diagnosis as well as BPDI and II. Therapy alone is not always successful.

I appreciate you sharing your situation and hope you don't take what I say in the wrong way. It was simply my intent to point out that while I agree in principle that this style will help those who can do it, that there are many people here who are not at the place where they can start this and in some cases, this approach would not be the best course of action.

Hope you continue to improve...

Chris

[lonegael]

I thinkk that your therapist alos has a bit of an angle on the anxiety that som many of us with depression have that paralyses us, convinces us that there is no escape and that nothing will improve, and thtells us that there is no point in trying. It's bad enough having to fight the leaden exhaustion, thoughts of worthlessness that are so overwhelming, the cognitive slowing and the thoughts of death. The Therapist probably thought that if you could just get through that anxiety about change, that you could do it. If you can do it hon, RUN WITH IT!!!!!!!!! And more power to you! Just remember, many are not in that place yet. Thanks for the post though, you tell your story with the therapist well!

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

These last days, I have been getting a feel for this place. There are a lot of hurting people here. A lot of very caring ones too. Frankly, I have some ambivalence. To get better requires a commitment. Sometimes, I need to be reminded; empathy alone will not due.

One of my therapists would tell me it is okay to have a pity party. Enjoy the party while it lasts, he would say, but remember, at some point the party must end so we can get on with the business of increasing your level of functioning. Notice, the therapist did not say we would be fixing or curing anything.

This therapist asked me to envision what my life would be like if I were better. I mussitated awhile but really did not have an answer. So, the therapist asked me some questions and gave me some exercises to do.

He asked: What are your values? What do you value most in your life? How would you like to be remembered? My task was think about these questions, provide answers and state the thought processes that lead up to them. The idea, of course, was to give me something to shoot for.

One day, the therapist asked me to imagine a door. On the other side of that door was the life I envisioned, he said. To be able to walk through that door, I needed to be willing to take the risk, recognize there will always be challenges and have faith in myself. The thought scared me more than a little bit.

To ameliorate my fears, the therapist helped me establish mini goals. Each mini goal was intended as a means to build confidence while bringing me closer to the life I envisioned, the macro goal.

I cannot say I am living the life I envisioned. I can say my level of functioning is higher. There are periods when I do quite well; and otherwise. For me the key is to do. Many times it matters not what, as long as I do something. To do nothing but be depressed about being depressed is so tragic.

What is your vision for a better life? Do you have a plan?

Mussitate: verb -- mumble, mutter, maunder, mussitate -- (talk indistinctly; usually in a low voice)

• talk, speak, utter, mouth, verbalize, verbalise -- (express in speech; "He talks a lot of nonsense"; "This depressed patient does not verbalize'' )

Sending hugs (((((((( TheByzantine )))))))))

And hoorah for a positive post! Indeed therapy is hard work but keep plugging away. Good stuff!

[turquoisesea]

Thank you for this post