I hate being useless.

I hate being unable to do stuff I want to do because my body stops me from doing it.

I hate watching my boyfriend toil at the stove while I can't help him because i feel weak, faint, and my arm muscles hurt such that it's so hard to chop things. I did some, I cleaned dishes, I did the dishwasher and cleaned the counters. But I can't make a simple meal for him (he's sick too).

Hate being discriminated against by school for having a mental disorder.

I hate not being able to go to work... losing out on half a week's pay because I'm sick.

I hate not being able to practice because of the pain in my arms and the trembling in my body.

I hate hurting my friends. I hate having to hide. I hate WANTING to curl up in bed in a ball and hide hide hide....



I WANT to be able to do nice things for people. I WANT to be able to take care of myself. I WANT to go hide now.

turquiosesea

I know the feeling. I have no advice for you just some hugs.

(((((((((((((turquoisesea))))))))))))))))))))

You are not useless hun, you are trying which is all you can do. Be kind to yourself and remember you did accomplish somethings, doing the dishes and cleaning the counters is something.

((((((( Turquoisesea! )))))))

I hate being useless (OK, nearly useless), too. It's a frustration, it's a heartache to want to function and keep bumping into yourself.

((((((turquoise sea)))) Hon, it's the rare day that I get around to cleaning the counters It's easy to feel useless when you compare yourself to others, and even more so when some stupid institution has made you a second class citizen. Hide if you need to,dear, but don't let the depression chase you away fromdoing what you need to to get better and do what you need to do. Hugs from a distance

((((((((((((((((((turqoisesea))))))))))))))))))
i know how it feel ....sending you a bunch of hugs

Doesn't sound to me like you are useless. You manage to go to college/school despite how hard that is and you usually work aswell!

It does sound like you are beating yourself up for being poorly. You are human and you are feeling ill right now.

Be gentle with you.

I'm actually not going to school, I'm trying to get back in.

Working yes, =)

((((((((((((((((( turquoisesea )))))))))))))))))

I know EXACTLY how you feel if that helps at all. You are not alone in this useless, helpless feeling. I've been sitting on t chair in my bedroom with my laptop surfing the internet and posting in my personal journal while life goes on around me. My husband is doing house stuff, taking care of the dog, cats, our son, doing dishes, etc. My son is being a ten year old, playing with his friends. And here I sit like a lump unable to even get up to pee! What the heck am I even good for? I feel so selfish and self-centered because this depression is affecting everyone around me. It's not fair to them. But I can't help how I feel? I'm trying to get help. Just started therapy, though I hate therapy. Changed my meds, started journaling. Exercise daily (almost, but I hate doing it). and I still feel like crap. I don't mean to make you feel worse, but I know how you feel. Hugs.

((((((((((turquoisesea)))))))))))

You are definitely not useless. But I can relate to the feeling.

turquoisesea,

somehow i wish that my family knows that i have a mental disorder - they always see me as a moron who couldn't be independent for a single day. my sister makes me feel as if I'm utterly worthless and i couldn't never stand up by myself. hence, would it be just better if i had a mental disease?

(((((((((turquoisesea)))))))))


You're not useless! You've been such a kind, understanding support to myself and others here. How can you be useless when you're so much help? I know how rough it is. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone in those feelings and none of this is your fault.