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  #1  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 01:51 PM
Anonymous091825
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Im not perfect ..wish i was... im not thou ...im human. like everyone else i goof in life ((real life))) Im talking about. Well i goof here too. sorry
Its been a very long couple of mths. 2 minor surgerys, issues with my son. Where at times i would have to say I prolly have not listened as good as i should have.
I took in a girl i thought i was doing the right thing..that turned out a mess. well for my son it did. So that would be my fault. As i am the adult.
My daughters b/f has h1n1. he will be ok thou that good. All stresses thou.
I rearganged my life to fit other ppls life which i thought was a good thing as i love them. In turn it left me sometimes cranky and not always nice. I have used the f word...thats unlike me.((not to my kids thou))
I have yelled..which is not like me...
All of this thou I am resonsable for as it was my choices. it was I who yelled . i who used the f word. No matter what anyone else did i am responsable for me.
that saddens me..I myself can not take yelling it triggers me beyond normal I freeze or i say something i should not...
I would like to say its because i am still recovering , but then i would be using a excuse. thou i still do not feel so good.
So with all that has gone on Im depressed. some.
I know what it is as this is how i felt when my parents passed. At a loss.
Im not very good with expressing myself when it comes to this.
I really do not like being upset. Its not my normal thing.
Sometimes I see things different as other ppl do ..which can be hard on them.
I am a talker ...which means i like to try to talk it out. As i said sometimes i loss my cool ..and yell...
and then i just go quiet...and cry. which still does not help.
Im stetched to the limit. inside... I do have help here thou and that i am grateful for...sorry i just needed to write it out...
now im going to go cry and work real life.
((ty)) for listening as always
Thanks for this!
nightbird, nowheretorun, Puffyprue

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  #2  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 01:59 PM
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justfloating justfloating is offline
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(((((((((muffy)))))))))))
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"If you're going through hell -- keep going."
- Winston Churchill


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- Elizabeth Gilbert

Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong,
we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on.
Bring on the wonder, bring on the song,
I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long.
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  #3  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 02:02 PM
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gimmeice gimmeice is offline
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(((((((((((( muffy ))))))))))))))
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Depression and me

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis

visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net
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  #4  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 02:08 PM
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Puffyprue Puffyprue is offline
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((((((((((((((((((muffy)))))))))))))))))
iam so sorry things just hard for you right now
its nice you could share with us here
i just know today that u're human i always thought u are an angel ....
its true that everything that we said when we angry most of the times its something we regret the most but we cant take that back all we can do is learn from what has happened ....and as human i think its normal all people get angry sometimes
we love you muffy ....

btw i hate the limititation about the smiley things coz i want to send you a bunch of hugs
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  #5  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 02:22 PM
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Berries Berries is offline
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(((((((((((Muffy)))))))))))

You don't have to be perfect. Be gentle & forgiving with yourself.

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  #6  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 02:23 PM
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lonegael lonegael is offline
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(((((((Muffy)))))) It's your big, warm heart that sounds like like encouraged you to bite off more than you can chew. You never know how things are going to turn out. You still don't know how taking that girl in might affect her far down the road. Such things are never pain free, they demand a lot from you and others as well. And that is just how it is.
Talk, as much as you need to, cry as long as it helps, and take some time to pull back and reorient yourself. You have so much on your plate, muffy.I'm amazed you still have all that room left in your heart that you do. Many, many hugs
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  #7  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 02:28 PM
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Rohag Rohag is offline
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Muffy, your avatar suits you well!
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My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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muffy, nightbird, nowheretorun
  #8  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 03:23 PM
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trevorzero trevorzero is offline
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Life can be pretty MESSY, for just about everybody.

You're struggling, but you're working things through. Give yourself all the credit that you can.
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The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The Beginning
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muffy
  #9  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 03:25 PM
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katheryn katheryn is offline
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muffy not many will stand up and say look i am me this is how i handled such n such, there is no manual telling us how to handle stuff, and a lot of us tend to let others go first coz we like to make them happy before making us happy, and with all the stuff you have dealt with over your life, i would of been suprised if you hadnt been depressed at some time,

here is a hug for you

(((((((((((((muffy)))))))))))))))
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No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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  #10  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 03:33 PM
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opheliasorrow opheliasorrow is offline
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Oh Muffy .... please try not to be so hard on yourself. Gosh you are one of the most kind people with a huge heart who thinks of others all the time. You are allowed to think of YOU. Of course you make mistakes, every living person makes mistakes. It is human nature to yell when we have been tipped too far or taken on that extra stress .... please know I am thinking of you. You are a mother, we don't get lessons in parenting, therefore we do what we think is the best for our children all the time. Sometimes we make mistakes, but we larn from mistakes ... your son and your daughter know you love them above everything else. Please take care (((((((((((((((((((((Muffy)))))))))))))))))))))))))Sincerely I hope you feel better soon. K xxx
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muffy, nightbird, nowheretorun
  #11  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 04:34 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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((((((((((((((((( muffy ))))))))))))))))))
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  #12  
Old Nov 09, 2009, 04:47 PM
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Michah Michah is offline
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Location: Australia
Posts: 2,332
(((((miss Muffy)))))

It is the generous heart that suffers the most, my dear friend.....

And you have the most generous heart.....

It is the knowing how to be generous......without giving away what you don't have.

It is the loving unconditionally.......without giving unconditionally.....

There is a difference......

No guilt, no regret, no recriminations........of self.....

You have done and are still doing all that you can.......for the collective spirit......the spirit of humanity....

But you are also part of humanity, so giving must also be done for self......in order to be given to others.......

Embrace what you need, ask it of others......if they cannot give you what you need......then some emotional distance is called for.......for we are all responsible for our own fate......no-one else.

You are a good mother, a good friend, a good person.......never doubt that......when making decisions for you.

Take care of self and all else will follow, sweet one........I guarantee it

With you always......in this rocky terrain......to give a kind word, a big hug and a soft pillow........sit in the sun, look at the clouds, revel in the complexity and beauty of nature......it shall put things in perspective.....

We are here......

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”Taoist quote

Much, much love and biggest hugs

Michah
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The only Truth that exists.....
.........Is that there is no absolute Truth.
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  #13  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 03:36 AM
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nightbird nightbird is offline
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(((((Muffy))))))

You are definitely one of the finest people I know...

It's okay to let go once in awhile, or how else are we going to know what is really going on... you know?

When things go along, day after day, and we are in our comfort zones, well, you know how that is... we can miss taking care of things, inside or outside of us that need our attention because we want to stay comfy-cozy for a little longer ~ especially after surgeries and some stressful events...

Go easy on yourself, my resilient Friend, and know that the people who matter most to you in this life ~ who know your heart and soul... and know you wouldn't hurt a fly ~ also know you are stressed and feeling sad ~ so please, take it easy on yourself and practice good self care and give yourself a 'hug' from me, okay?!?

You are loved, Muffy ... and are such a Dear Friend and Person!

You always support others and make this site a very special place to come 'home' to.. so if you need a rest to recoup, you 'go girl' ... you will be missed, but I know everyone will wait for you to feel better, both here, and IRL!

You are the BEST!

Love,
Night
xoxo

oh... and take my boat out for as long as you like... it will take you to a little paradise (it's on auto pilot) ... have a calming retreat (((Muffy)))

xoxo

Depression and me
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I am larger and better than I thought.
I did not know I held so much goodness.
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nowheretorun
  #14  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 03:41 AM
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nightbird nightbird is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,178
I thanked many for the wonderfully wise words written on this thread to you, Dear Muffy!

I am always in awe of how wonderful the pc members are to each other... and it's due to people like you Muffy, leading the way with your kind support and generous spirit!

((((((PC))))))

xoxoxoxo
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I am larger and better than I thought.
I did not know I held so much goodness.
- Walt Whitman
Thanks for this!
Michah, nowheretorun
  #15  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 04:27 AM
HOUSHI HOUSHI is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: Iran
Posts: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by muffy View Post
Im not perfect ..wish i was... im not thou ...im human. like everyone else i goof in life ((real life))) Im talking about. Well i goof here too. sorry
Its been a very long couple of mths. 2 minor surgerys, issues with my son. Where at times i would have to say I prolly have not listened as good as i should have.
I took in a girl i thought i was doing the right thing..that turned out a mess. well for my son it did. So that would be my fault. As i am the adult.
My daughters b/f has h1n1. he will be ok thou that good. All stresses thou.
I rearganged my life to fit other ppls life which i thought was a good thing as i love them. In turn it left me sometimes cranky and not always nice. I have used the f word...thats unlike me.((not to my kids thou))
I have yelled..which is not like me...
All of this thou I am resonsable for as it was my choices. it was I who yelled . i who used the f word. No matter what anyone else did i am responsable for me.
that saddens me..I myself can not take yelling it triggers me beyond normal I freeze or i say something i should not...
I would like to say its because i am still recovering , but then i would be using a excuse. thou i still do not feel so good.
So with all that has gone on Im depressed. some.
I know what it is as this is how i felt when my parents passed. At a loss.
Im not very good with expressing myself when it comes to this.
I really do not like being upset. Its not my normal thing.
Sometimes I see things different as other ppl do ..which can be hard on them.
I am a talker ...which means i like to try to talk it out. As i said sometimes i loss my cool ..and yell...
and then i just go quiet...and cry. which still does not help.
Im stetched to the limit. inside... I do have help here thou and that i am grateful for...sorry i just needed to write it out...
now im going to go cry and work real life.
((ty)) for listening as always

Dear Miss
you are welcome.
Thanks for this!
muffy, nowheretorun
  #16  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 12:44 PM
nowheretorun nowheretorun is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2003
Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
Posts: 12,724
((muffy))))

sending love and caring always.. nothing can happen that will change how i feel about and for you... we will be together in heart and spirit forever...

Depression and me
Thanks for this!
muffy
  #17  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 12:46 PM
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Briester Briester is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2009
Location: Near Washington DC
Posts: 237
Muffy, thank you for posting. You're appreciated greatly and I'm glad to meet you.

Chris
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Quote:
I hope that the world turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you understand that even though I will never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. -Valerie Page
Quote:
I call myself a Peaceful Warrior... because the battles we fight are on the inside...
There's no greater purpose than service to others
. -Socrates (The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman)
Thanks for this!
muffy, nowheretorun
  #18  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 06:55 PM
Anonymous091825
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by puffyprue View Post
((((((((((((((((((muffy)))))))))))))))))
iam so sorry things just hard for you right now
its nice you could share with us here
i just know today that u're human i always thought u are an angel ....
its true that everything that we said when we angry most of the times its something we regret the most but we cant take that back all we can do is learn from what has happened ....and as human i think its normal all people get angry sometimes
we love you muffy ....

btw i hate the limititation about the smiley things coz i want to send you a bunch of hugs
((justfloating))))(((gimmeice)))))((ty))

((puffyprue)))))))))))))))) I am most grateful that all of you were here for me. Im sorry I did not come back and post sooner.
an angel aww no i am not one ((ty)) thou kind one.
Yes things said in anger are things i regret. It times like those I need to sit back and think for a bit. It does not happen often. When it does Im floored.
Also i was multi dealing with things and not feeling good at the same time.
Still as i said no excuse i am resposable for me..
you are right thou it is a emotion.
love all of you too ((ty))
Thanks for this!
nowheretorun
  #19  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 07:03 PM
Anonymous091825
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by lonegael View Post
(((((((Muffy)))))) It's your big, warm heart that sounds like like encouraged you to bite off more than you can chew. You never know how things are going to turn out. You still don't know how taking that girl in might affect her far down the road. Such things are never pain free, they demand a lot from you and others as well. And that is just how it is.
Talk, as much as you need to, cry as long as it helps, and take some time to pull back and reorient yourself. You have so much on your plate, muffy.I'm amazed you still have all that room left in your heart that you do. Many, many hugs
((berries)))((ty)) so much

((lonegael)))))) ((ty)) I do hope and pray that this girl somehow turns her life around at some point in her life. I really hope when shes older she remmebers someone was kind and she then inturn does it for someone else. I have a feeling for her that maybe awhile down the road.
reorient i think i need to do..Im outta steam.
theres always room for more in my heart...i just tend to forget that im suppose to take care of me too
makes no sense.
Thanks for this!
nowheretorun
  #20  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 07:15 PM
Anonymous091825
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by katheryn View Post
muffy not many will stand up and say look i am me this is how i handled such n such, there is no manual telling us how to handle stuff, and a lot of us tend to let others go first coz we like to make them happy before making us happy, and with all the stuff you have dealt with over your life, i would of been suprised if you hadnt been depressed at some time,

here is a hug for you

(((((((((((((muffy)))))))))))))))
(((Rohag)))(((trevorzero))((ty)) both of you

(kathy)))))))))))))))))))))))) i sure wish there was a manual at times. I could have used one way back. I have so feared the last few mths i have goofed with my son. I felt it was my fault. Things that had happened it was like watching a wreak waiting to happen.
I so want everyone to be happy .....
When my parents passed that so effected all our lifes. I was depressed at that time because I thought i should have somehow been able to stop it from happenening. Im my mind i knew I could not its silly.
My therpy at the time was to work as hard as i could. Was my way of blocking it.
This past few mths have felt like back then as things came one after another ..still no excuse thou...
Thanks for this!
nowheretorun
  #21  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 07:19 PM
Anonymous091825
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Posts: n/a
(((((((opheliasorrow)))))))(ty)))))))) ((((((((((fuzzy))))))(ty)))(((HOUSHI))))))(ty)

((((((((Briester)))(ty)))))))))
Thanks for this!
Briester, nowheretorun
  #22  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 07:34 PM
Anonymous091825
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
((((Michah))))))))))(((((((((((((((((nightbird))))))))))))))))
What do i say to the two of you except ((ty))
Do you know reading all these posts i cryed alittle to know how much you care. Of course i knew that already. I feel guilty i post this as i somehow figure i could handle everything ....
yesteray I felt so bad. upset with me i got angry. upset i was not feeling good. upset i goofed with my son.,
Upset I forget to leave a postum note that i mattered.. i have a hard time even writing that.
I love my kids and all of you so much.all of you matter very much to me.
I never want anyone to worry.
Im outta words..
((ty))
Thanks for this!
Michah, nowheretorun
  #23  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 07:34 PM
Anonymous091825
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nowheretorun View Post
((muffy))))

sending love and caring always.. nothing can happen that will change how i feel about and for you... we will be together in heart and spirit forever...

Depression and me
((nowheretorun)))))))))) (ty))
Thanks for this!
nowheretorun
  #24  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 07:51 PM
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PlanningtoLive PlanningtoLive is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2003
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,511
{{{{{{{{muffy}}}}}}}}}} gentle hugs and love for you.

Mary Alice

Thanks for this!
muffy, nowheretorun
  #25  
Old Nov 10, 2009, 08:29 PM
Anonymous091825
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(((((((PlanningtoLive)))))))))))((((ty))))))))) love to you too (ty)
still tired so im off to sleep ..
Thanks for this!
nowheretorun
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