want to touch/ hurt others

I dont know if this is the right place to post this
but of late i have been wanting to hurt other people either that or touch others even though am scared of them

its everything am near people i dont know its getting worse i told my pych about it but she didnt say anything about it to me and has let me go on with things as if it dosnt matter

its making me feel really depressed and suicidal am unsure what to do
and i dont know why am feelings this way

Angel

hi there Angel.

Is there a reason you can think of that makes you want these things? By understanding your feelings you can often control them, come to terms with them, change them, and or feel better about yourself.

Keep asking your psych about it, I think that could really help.

Am unsure why i want to do it
its like an urge that am finding hard to control
my husband said that i do have control over it but am finding it hard
to believe that i have control

Angel

I have some times when I find certain urges hard to control. In the past some have been violent. It's very important NOT to give in to them. But you may need help to do this. If you feel out of control please don't hesitate to find someone to help you/ keep you from doing anything in the immediate present.

I think figuring out WHY you want/need to may be the key here. That's much easier said than done. Do you have therapy meetings in which you could try to figure some of this out?
*tries to think of ideas*... Are there any patterns in these urges? Is there anything that happened in the past that is similar or somehow connected to these urges? Does it happen just when you're upset or at random moments? Do they revolve around a specific type of person? Why are you scared of them?

Sometimes when I don't understand what I"m feeling I personally find journaling helps. For some people drawing does too.

*sending hugs*

*edit: also on a personal note, I know that alot of it was connected with dissociation, that may not be the case at ALL for you but thought I'd put it in

i dont have a therapist because i dont trust them they last one broke my trust

am scared of people because there strangers and am unsure what they will do

it seems to be bad when am in an enclosed space like a bus or a small room
it dosnt matter what age the person is it can be children to old people
its mainly i want to hurt them though

am not upset at the time or any thing

Angel

It sounds like this could be OCD related. Since you say you're not mad at the time of the thoughts - I think this is what's causing this. Try to remember these are just thoughts and don't let them upset you or try to stop them. The more you try to resist them - the worse they'll get. Let the thoughts come and take some slow deep breaths. You can also reason with yourself where you sift through the thoughts, asking yourself if they're valid. DO you suffer from claustrophobia? Since you said you're normally afraid of people - it's seems your mind is playing tricks on you - daring you to have contact. Your mind is just trying to upset you -if you relax, this will disarm the upsetting thoughts.

ts making me feel really depressed and suicidal am unsure what to do

get a second opinion... soon....

am seeing my dr tomorrow for meds but am going to tell her how am feeling see if she dose anything at all

i do have some OCD traits like hording and counting things
it could be that

Angel

Yes, definitely talk to your doc about it. A sudden outburst would be horrible for the innocent person and pretty bad for you (jail, etc.). Not to mention that if they did nothing to warrant it what kind of physical and psychological damage they would endure from it. Just from your brief post though it also sounds like your thoughts have some elements of APD. I think you really should find another therapist. People are people and some are trustworthy and some are not no matter what line of work they're in.

Just get some help from someone who'll listen.

I agree with Lynn. It sounds OCD related. Lynn also gave you good advice.
When the thoughts come up try not to judge them good or bad. They are just thoughts, let them be. Then add other thoughts, a different way of looking at the situation. Like, "it would be unfair to hurt someone without provocation" Then take your values into consideration. Like "It is my value to not hurt others." Then you can decide what action to take. Like not hurting the other person.

Sometimes, when people are afraid of others, they either take in characteristics that they ar4 afraid of into themselves or project them onto others. It sounds like you are afraid that in enclosed areas you might get touched or hurt, and that triggers the impulse to do it first. Or it could simply be that you are afraid that you will express your fear of people violently. I know it is hard to believe, but you can gain more control over your emotions and reactions, you've managed to already! It takes work, and it takes time.
when you talk to your P doc, maybe he can recommend someone to work with you. Maybe you can try by working CBT with someone. Many of these therapists can handle not delving too much into your past. It's all about dealing with what's happening now. I realize that it is hard to trust when you have been hurt, and I guess by more than your therapist. it's a hard long road, and II wish you the best. get help soon, and take very good care of yourself.

i talked to my dr she gave me a number i can call if am feeling like am a danger to myself and others at the moment being at home am not a danger to others because am home and there is no strangers around me

i will call them if i am a danger to any one

Angel