[alittlehoshime]

Never thought that I would feel this again , I really thought its over or at least I have better control over em ,

Never thought that I felt so down to the point , I think of those negative thoughts and as if whispering to my ears feeling satan is knocking at my door again and craving for my soul.

Feeling bit hyper and irratating at nites while feeling real down and crushed in the morning. Been weeping and feeling cold, felt no mood to talk , to eat ,

Whats really happened? Didnt I had such great time last nite? Didnt I tried to be outwardly focus ? When will all these be truly over? Or is there an end? Or its gonna be with me throughout my life?

My Depression , My vicious cycle has came back as if my long lost friend seeking after me ,
Knowing that I couldnt avoid you , Knowing that Your just a dark clouds will always roam around like dark clouds in the open sky before it rain.
And ur not just does that , You strick like a lightning too leaving me with all these awful , and terrifiing feelings .

Thinks You will always be part of me , my sad , my cruel fren , you comes and u goes, dont know why u loved me so . I cant deny you , nor do I could reject or runaway from u, you're my closest frens when my best frens is busy and unavailable.

I just hope for the Blight Sun to comes back,Pleading God to rescue and sent His' angels to my rescue as I wept , and to wait patiently to the point I need to wait and wait Just wait!

And to celebrate my victory once more. A celebration thats are so heart-felt and colourful.
A celebration thats worth celebrate and Never End.

Until you comes back again , another cycle , another chapter, another line...

Depression.........

[billieJ]

Dear alittlehoshime ~ I am so sorry for the way that you are feeling right now, and I do so identify with it. As you seem to know, the bright side will come around again in it's time. And treatments are always being improved by those researchers who care about us. I understand the torment of the negative thoughts and feelings of being pursued by evil. You are not the only one, and this is just depression whispering to you and creating your dark thoughts.

I know how irritating it is for people to give "advice" on how to deal with depression, and I know that no such advice constitutes a "cure", as some of the non-depressed would have us believe. But such "advice" can at least be helpful in pushing back the darkness that we both know so well. Be out among others when you can. A simple conversation or little laugh helps the mood a bit. Do what constructive activity you can, even if this is only taking a shower and dressing. If you can attend group activities of any kind, this can be good. Good company fights the isolation that allows the negative thoughts to form.

Think of all the good things about yourself, even if this means relying on what others have said about you; and do small kindnesses - so you will remember that you are worthy - one of the good guys.

Read posts here and respond if you can. It is like reaching through cyberspace to take the arm of someone else, as though you were both running from a storm and the other person had fallen a bit behind. You will find many arms reaching out to take your own in response, and occupying yourself in this way can be so therapeutic. Caring about you ~ billieJ

[alittlehoshime]

thanks for the advice , really appreciate em ya I just need to learn to be patient and just wait , wait and wait for the depression to roll off .

[lindee]

[nightbird]

(((alittlehosehime))))

I hope that you find some comforting self-soothing activities to help you thru this difficult period.

I learned when going thru my own depression that the dark thoughts were not really true at all.

Depression tricks us into believing only the negative side of life applies to us.

Once we can tap into that, we can weed the very down thoughts (which are just that ~ thoughts ~ they don't have to be anything more)... from the ones that make us feel alive... and connected, and reinforce those that help us feel better.

I used tapes, cd's for relaxation and building myself up.

Also, I went to the movement classes, the gym, and took little outings, because they all help lift mood and eventually, ourselves.

Exercise is a wonderful anti-depressant btw.

I wish I had time then for a pet... that definitely helps people alot, especially those dealing with lonliness.

I feel diet helps as well. Eating good, whole foods (green) and soups without any processing or artificial additives and preservatives... well, the proof is in the pudding Dear Person. Try a shake or smoothie, something with fresh fruits in it, and see how vital you feel afterwards.

Veggie juicing is the same ~ makes you feel better, as dows taking any supplementation you might be lacking.

Wheatgrass is a good old kick in the depression any old day also.

And listening to upbeat music and watching comedies can help. Along with a big bowl of popcorn! Reading good stories that empower you can help too!

I loved my bathing rituals so much, I joined a spa! When I'm down now, I will head there first thing.

Do what is right for you... maybe you want to start with some exercise?

Please let me know how you are doing.

I'm pulling for you to feel better ~ and it may take time, but each attempt takes us further from the point of where we started!

Peace and Love,
Nightbird
xoxo

[alittlehoshime]

Hi Night,

Thanks for ur advice and concern bout me, As of today, as its already 230am , tues in malaysia, I still havent sleep yet.

Feeling no mood to sleep, though yesterday I did something to help me focus and tries to be there for someone and to encourage them . Yet I still feel the urge to cry . Must be my job , etc affects em.

Anyway I dont know what I suppose to say , what I suppose to feel , If only I could just turned back the clock perhaps I could safe myself from all these unwanted feelings. I wanted to feel numb though but that doesnt do any good to me too. So I just need to wait now is all I need to do and like what u said Never Ever Give up Hope!And beliefs that I could pull thru.

thanks,

with love,